“We Love Each Other, So Why Is This So Hard?”

Why does the same fight keep happening—no matter how carefully you communicate? If you’ve tried the scripts, the tools, and the “say it better” approach… and still feel stuck, exhausted, or walking on eggshells

—this episode is for you. In this recap episode, I’m pulling together the most powerful moments from the last three conversations to explore how trauma and the nervous system shape marriage in ways traditional relationship advice doesn’t account for. You’ll hear:

• Why defensiveness, shutdown, and emotional distance aren’t personality flaws

• How trauma quietly impacts communication, safety, and connection

• What CPTSD can actually look like in marriage—without labels or blame

• And why communication tools fail when regulation is missing

This episode includes highlights from my conversation with Lisa Marie-Francis Summers, who shares how growing up with an unpredictable parent and navigating painful marriages shaped the way she communicated in relationships. Through her lived experience and healing work, Lisa offers insight into survival mode, boundaries as self-love, and why real change starts

when we stop trying to fix the other person and begin understanding ourselves (yes—Ted Lasso makes an appearance). This isn’t about diagnosing your spouse. It’s about clarity. Because when you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface, you can stop blaming yourself—and start responding from a steadier place.

✨ If you’ve ever thought, “Why doesn’t this get better even when I try harder?” You’re not imagining it. And you’re not alone.

Watch full video: “We Love Each Other, So Why Is This So Hard?”