In this episode of Walking Defined, Kate and Baylee conclude their three-part marriage series by turning toward joy, gratitude, and the posture of heart that sustains a healthy marriage over time.

Building on conversations around respect, communication, confession, and criticism, this episode addresses the quiet heart issues that often determine the atmosphere of a home: bitterness, unmet expectations, offense, and misplaced sources of joy. Kate and Baylee unpack why husbands were never meant to be the source of fulfillment, peace, or joy, and how placing that weight on another human being inevitably leads to disappointment.

Through personal stories, Scripture, and honest confession, this conversation explores how gratitude transforms bitterness, how joy grows when we serve with eternity in mind, and why learning to be unoffendable is a spiritual discipline that protects marriage. Drawing again from Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich, Kate and Baylee discuss how words shape what a husband believes about himself, and why appealing to a man’s honor changes the way conflict is received.

This episode also challenges wives to examine expectations, offense, manipulation, and the subtle ways criticism and unspoken disappointment can erode trust. Rather than offering formulas, the conversation points listeners back to Christ as the true source of joy and peace, and invites wives to lead with gratitude, humility, and truth.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why your husband is not meant to be your source of joy
• How misplaced expectations turn into bitterness
• The difference between serving with gratitude and serving with resentment
• Why choosing to be unoffendable protects your marriage
• How manipulation and taking things personally damage trust
• Why men internalize criticism as a statement about their character
• The power of gratitude in reshaping both your heart and your marriage
• How speaking life builds honor and restores joy
• Practical ways to cultivate thankfulness, even in hard seasons
• A closing prayer for the wife who longs for joy, laughter, and renewal in her marriage

Scripture referenced:

• Philippians 4:7 – The peace of God that surpasses understanding
• Matthew 6:20 – Storing up treasures in heaven
• Proverbs 18:21 – The power of life and death in the tongue
• James 1:19–20 – Slowness to anger and righteousness before God

Watch the video version on YouTube HERE

Check out Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich HERE

Connect with Us:

Socials: @walkingdefined

Email: walkingdefined@gmail.com

In this episode of Walking Defined, Kate and Baylee continue their marriage series by building on the foundation laid in Part 1 and introducing the next essential tools in the sanctified wife’s tool belt.

Following their conversation on respect, this episode turns toward confession, forgiveness, communication, and the posture of humility required to walk through marriage in a God-honoring way. Drawing again from insights found in Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, Kate and Baylee reflect on how misunderstanding communication styles, harboring criticism, and attempting to act as the Holy Spirit in our spouse’s life can quietly damage intimacy and trust.

Through personal stories, Scripture, and honest reflection, they unpack how marriage is not meant to serve personal happiness, but to sanctify both husband and wife, pointing ultimately to Christ. This conversation explores what it looks like to fight with your spouse instead of against them, why criticism feels like rejection to men, and how approaching marriage as service unto the Lord reframes everything.

This episode also speaks directly to wives who feel stuck in cycles of frustration, hurt, or disappointment, offering practical perspective shifts rooted in biblical truth rather than cultural expectations.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why confession and forgiveness are essential tools in the sanctified wife’s tool belt
• How criticism communicates disdain rather than correction
• Why trying to be the Holy Spirit to your husband is damaging to your marriage
• The difference between fighting your spouse and fighting the issue together
• How men and women experience conflict differently, and why understanding that matters
• Why marriage is meant to sanctify us, not serve our happiness
• How gratitude reshapes the way we see our spouse
• A word of encouragement for wives struggling with a critical spirit
• A closing prayer for renewed perspective, humility, and healing in marriage

Scripture referenced:

• Proverbs 12:4 – A virtuous wife as a crown, and the damage caused by shame
• 1 Corinthians 7:33–34 – The mutual concern husbands and wives have for one another
• Matthew 7:3–5 – Examining our own hearts before judging our spouse
• Proverbs 31 – Doing good to one’s husband all the days of her life

Watch the video version on YouTube HERE

Check out Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs HERE

Connect with Us:

Socials: @walkingdefined

Email: walkingdefined@gmail.com

In this episode of Walking Defined, Kate and Baylee begin a three-part conversation on marriage by tackling one foundational question:

What are the tools in the sanctified wife’s tool belt?

This conversation was sparked by reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, a book that gave language to something that is experienced but wasn't ever fully understood. Through that lens, Kate and Baylee explore why respect is not simply a preference or personality trait, but a God-designed language through which men experience love.

Together, they unpack how marriages often fall into a repeating cycle where wives feel unloved and husbands feel disrespected, and how that cycle quietly erodes connection, leadership, and intimacy over time. This episode lays biblical and practical groundwork for understanding roles within marriage, why submission is so often misunderstood, and how small shifts in language and posture can begin to change your marriage forever.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why respect is the language husbands are dying to hear
• How the “crazy cycle” forms when love and respect break down
• The cultural messages that train women to criticize rather than honor
• Why submission does not mean inferiority, silence, or weakness
• The biblical meaning of Ezer K’negdo and the true role of a wife
• How criticism and control slowly dismantle leadership in the home
• Why obedience unto the Lord matters even when change feels slow
• A word of encouragement for the wife who feels exhausted and at a breaking point
• A closing prayer for wives who are longing for healing, renewal, and clarity in their marriage

Scripture referenced:

• Ephesians 5:25–33 – God’s design for love and respect within marriage
• Genesis 2:18 – Ezer K’negdo and the strength-based design of the wife
• Genesis 3:16 – The impact of the Fall on roles, desire, and authority within marriage

Watch the video version on YouTube HERE

Check out Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs HERE

Connect with Us:

Socials: @walkingdefined

Email: walkingdefined@gmail.com

In this episode of Walking Defined, Kate and Baylee sit down with a special guest, Pastor Matt Cook (Baylee’s dad) for a raw, conviction-filled conversation that goes straight to the heart.

Pastor Matt shares the turning point that changed everything: a moment where God brought him to his knees, broke his pride, and began building a real, personal relationship with Him. From there, we talk about what it means to walk by faith when God opens and closes doors, why humility often comes through humiliation, and how submission to the Lord reshapes the way we lead, love, and live.

This conversation also lays important groundwork for what’s coming next, especially as we move into deeper conversations about marriage, leadership, and roles in the home.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Pastor Matt’s testimony and the moment God confronted his pride and redirected his life
• What it looks like to walk through doors God opens, and trust Him when they close
• Why true courage flows from submission to God
• Why men are increasingly fearful in modern culture, and what happens when purpose disappears
• God’s design for masculinity and femininity, and why the world’s confusion creates disorder
• A direct word to the wife who feels like she has been carrying the “shield” and how to begin restoring God’s order with repentance, forgiveness, and faith
• A closing prayer for the wife who wants change but feels held back by fear

Scripture referenced:

Genesis 3:16 – The impact of the Fall on relationships and the tension introduced into marriage

Ephesians 5:25–27 – Christ’s sacrificial love as the model for covenant leadership

Galatians 6:7 – The principle that what we sow spiritually will bear fruit

Matthew 24:4 – Jesus’ warning to guard against deception

Matthew 11:12 – The cost and seriousness of pursuing the Kingdom of God

2 Timothy 3:12 – The reality that godly living will face opposition

Psalm 119:105 – God’s Word as a lamp guiding each step forward

Watch the video version on YouTube:

YouTube link: https://youtu.be/5N8VelRHq18

Check out A Walk To Love by Baylee Hefley

Connect with Us:

Socials: @walkingdefined

Email: walkingdefined@gmail.com

In this Christmas episode of Walking Defined, Baylee Hefley and Kate Caris reflect on how easily the wonder of Christmas can be overshadowed by distraction, pressure, comparison, and consumerism, even for believers.

Through honest conversation about family traditions, gift giving, Santa culture, community, and countercultural choices, they explore what it looks like to intentionally center Christmas on Jesus, not from guilt or perfection, but from gratitude and reverence for the greatest gift ever given.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, check our hearts, and reclaim the joy, peace, and wonder found in Christ alone.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Why Christmas often feels stressful instead of peaceful
• A childhood memory that reveals why it is truly more blessed to give than receive
• Countercultural Christmas traditions that point hearts back to Jesus
• The dangers of distraction, comparison, and discontentment during the holidays
• Why community matters most during seasons of celebration and grief
• Encouragement for the parent who feels pressure to get it right

Scripture referenced:

Philippians 4:4 to 9, rejoicing, gratitude, peace, and setting our minds on what is true and praiseworthy

Acts 20:35, it is more blessed to give than to receive

James 1:17, every good and perfect gift comes from above

🎥 This episode is also available to watch in video format on YouTube:

Watch on YouTube – CLICK HERE

If Christmas has felt heavy, distracting, or disappointing, this conversation is a reminder that the true wonder of the season has never been found in gifts or traditions, but in Jesus humbling Himself to come near.

Connect with Us:

Socials: @walkingdefined

Email: walkingdefined@gmail.com

In this episode of Walking Defined, Baylee Hefley and Kate Caris reflect on where humility truly begins—at the foot of the cross. Through honest conversation about marriage, unmet expectations, comparison, and spiritual pride, they explore how easily we drift into seeking affirmation and importance when we lose sight of what Jesus has already done for us.

This episode invites listeners to slow down and sit with the Gospel, remembering that the cross is enough to shape our identity, our relationships, and the way we walk with God.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• How pride and comparison quietly take root in everyday life
• Why unmet expectations often reveal deeper heart issues
• The danger of forgetting the cost of the cross
• How busyness pulls us away from humility and gratitude
• Letting go of the need for recognition and learning to live from grace

Scripture referenced:

James 1:23–24 — a reminder that hearing God’s Word without responding is like looking in a mirror and immediately forgetting what we look like.

Romans 7:14 — an honest confession of our human struggle with sin and the tension between knowing what is right and living it out.

Resource mentioned: My Dearest Hemlock by Tilly Dillahey — a modern retelling inspired by The Screwtape Letters that explores spiritual pride and temptation.

Check out Baylee's Book: A Walk to Love

🎥 This episode is also available to watch in video format on YouTube: CLICK TO WATCH NOW

If you’ve felt weighed down by comparison, approval-seeking, or spiritual distraction, this conversation will gently call you back to the cross—where humility, freedom, and peace begin.

Connect with Us:

Socials: @walkingdefined

Email: walkingdefined@gmail.com

We were created for oneness with God and each other, so why do we feel so lonely? In this episode of Walking Defined, Baylee and Kate dig into biblical community: why it matters, how it forms, and what breaks it. From Genesis to Acts 2, from Jesus’ “twelve and three” to our own living rooms, we talk about becoming people who are fully known and deeply loved.

This conversation explores:

• God’s design for community in the Trinity (Father, Son, Spirit) and the Garden—oneness before the Fall, “otherness” after
• Acts 2:42–47 as the pattern of covenant community: teaching, fellowship, breaking bread, prayer, generosity, and shared life
• Jesus’ model of circles: crowds, the twelve, and the close three (Peter, James, John)—why you don’t need 100 close friends
• Vulnerability as the doorway to real friendship: being fully known and still loved
• Loneliness & isolation: how the enemy exploits distance (Peter’s denial) and how Jesus restores (John 21)
• Practical rhythms: pray first, seek God as your source, then pursue people; simple steps to find and build community where you are

Scripture referenced:

• Genesis 1–3 (oneness → otherness), Genesis 3:16
• Proverbs 17:28
• Luke 10:1–4 (sent two by two)
• Matthew 18:19–20 (two or three gathered)
• Acts 2:36–47 (Pentecost and the shared life of the church)
• Peter’s denial & restoration (Luke 22:54–62; John 21:15–19)

Quotes/Resources mentioned:

• Dr. Scot McKnight on covenant/community and Blue Parakeet (oneness shaped by God)

If you’re praying for friends, don’t lose heart. Ask God to make you the kind of person who can carry real community, and then take one small step: send the text, invite for coffee, join the study, open your door. Oneness grows when we seek Him first, then walk together.

Watch this Episode on Youtube: https://youtu.be/6aaJbQIWAgQ

Check out A Walk To Love by Baylee Hefley

Connect with Us:

• Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, X, Youtube: @walkingdefined
• Email: walkingdefined@gmail.com

Prayer isn’t about lofty words or perfect scripts... it’s about the posture of our hearts.

In this episode of Walking Defined, Kate and Baylee take their most personal deep dive yet, unpacking what it really means to pray with a heart of repentance, praise, faith, and trust. Through vulnerable stories—from Mexico mission experiences, to desperate prayers in seasons of financial struggle, to the miraculous birth of Baylee’s daughter Rossi—they share how God meets us in both the small requests and the life-and-death moments.

This episode explores:

• What prayer truly is (and what it’s not)
• Why repentance and praise must come before the ask
• How faith and belief shape the way we approach God
• Why trust is the final piece that completes our prayers
• Stories of God’s provision, from pennies and protein powder to protection in the delivery room

Whether you’re wrestling with shame, longing for deeper intimacy with God, or simply needing encouragement to keep praying, this episode will remind you that God is good, He cares about every detail, and He meets us when we come with the right posture.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Matthew 6:7–8 – Do Not Pray Like the Pagans
• Matthew 21:21–22 – Faith That Moves Mountains
• 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 – Pray Without Ceasing

Watch this Episode on Youtube: https://youtu.be/6aaJbQIWAgQ

Check out A Walk To Love by Baylee Hefley

Connect with Us:

• Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, X: @walkingdefined
• Email: walkingdefined@gmail.com