Here's a radical idea: being polyamorous doesn't make you a better person.

In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty calls out the weaponized poly discourse that's been laundering bad behavior under enlightenment language. "That's just jealousy." "I don't believe in obligation." "You're asking for hierarchy." These phrases shut down accountability instead of opening conversations.

Through the story of Jenna and Ari, you'll hear exactly how autonomy gets confused with avoidance, privacy becomes a cover for withholding critical information, and growth rhetoric turns into a weapon that dismisses harm instead of repairing it.

This episode draws clear lines between discomfort and harm, autonomy and impact, consent and endurance. Because ethical non-monogamy requires more communication, more accountability, and more repair than monogamy, not less.

This one's for you if:

• Someone has told you to be "better at polyamory" while ignoring your needs, boundaries, or safety
• You're practicing non-monogamy and want relationships grounded in honesty and real consent, not just sophisticated vocabulary
• You're tired of enlightenment language being used to dodge responsibility

Bottom line: Polyamory is not a moral upgrade. Labels don't replace ethics. And your nervous system's response to harm isn't pathology—it's intelligence.

Time to stop making the person experiencing harm responsible for fixing it.

• (00:00:00) - Introduction: Challenging Polyamory Myths
• (00:00:38) - Weaponized Language in Polyamory
• (00:00:49) - The Ethics of Non-Monogamy
• (00:01:25) - Avoiding Accountability in Polyamory
• (00:04:57) - Patterns of Harm in Polyamory
• (00:05:04) - Neglect Framed as Autonomy
• (00:07:22) - Dishonesty Reframed as Privacy
• (00:09:03) - Coercion Disguised as Growth
• (00:14:36) - Building Ethical Polyamory
• (00:22:45) - Conclusion: Embracing Ethical Non-Monogamy

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Power exchange is sexy when it’s chosen. Power over is toxic when it’s stolen. In this episode, we talk about the difference between ethical dominance and coercion, why consent makes power dynamics hotter, and how trauma and ND nervous systems experience surrender. You’ll learn how to spot red flags, practice ethical dominance, and build dynamics that are both safe and deeply erotic.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction to Power Dynamics
• (00:01:01) - Understanding Power Exchange
• (00:02:15) - Defining Ethical Power Exchange
• (00:05:44) - Recognizing Unhealthy Dynamics
• (00:10:14) - Practicing Ethical Dominance
• (00:15:14) - The Importance of Trust and Consent
• (00:20:16) - Conclusion and Final Thoughts

If you like this episode, check out my mini-course on Drop at https://untamedember.com

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You’ve heard of sub drop — the crash after intense play. But tops crash too. In this episode, we explore the neurochemistry of “after”: why dopamine, adrenaline, and oxytocin swings can leave both tops and subs feeling weepy, anxious, drained, or guilty. We’ll talk about how drop shows up in the body, why it’s normal, and what practices help regulate and repair. Because drop isn’t proof you did it wrong — it’s proof your body went deep.

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• (00:00:00) - Introduction to Drop
• (00:02:03) - Understanding Sub Drop
• (00:03:02) - Understanding Top Drop
• (00:04:39) - The Science Behind Drop
• (00:08:55) - Recognizing Drop Symptoms
• (00:11:54) - Distinguishing Drop from Red Flags
• (00:13:24) - Planning and Managing Drop
• (00:19:25) - Personal Reflections and Rituals
• (00:21:11) - Conclusion and Resources