In this episode of Unbecoming Me with Toi, host Toi shares personal do's and don'ts she's learned through her journey of self-discovery. She reflects on lessons around relationships and boundaries, including never chasing people, not placing others above yourself, and recognizing the difference between wanting and needing someone. Toi emphasizes knowing your worth, embracing low-maintenance friendships, and cherishing quality time. She also highlights the importance of being a true partner rather than a fan in relationships. The episode encourages listeners to live authentically and shed old patterns to embrace who they're truly meant to be.

Timestamps

Episode Context & Do's and Don'ts Introduction (00:00:46) Toi explains the episode's connection to the previous one and introduces the topic of life's do's and don'ts.

Setting Expectations & Boundaries (00:01:28) Discusses not demanding what you can't deliver, not insulting intelligence, and the importance of recognizing consequences.

Low Maintenance Friendships & Quality Time (00:02:52) Explains being a low maintenance friend, valuing quality time, and understanding life's obligations.

Experiences & Identity Beyond Roles (00:04:12) Talks about enjoying experiences with friends and exploring identity beyond societal roles like mother or career woman.

Letting Go & Self-Discovery Journey (00:06:18) Reflects on personal growth, letting go of over-giving, and embracing self-worth and alignment.

Six Major Lessons from Unbecoming (00:08:24) Shares key lessons: not chasing people, not putting others above self, and understanding healthy relationship dynamics.

Being a Partner, Not a Fan (00:09:38) Emphasizes the importance of being a partner in relationships, not a fan, and maintaining mutual respect.

Closing Thoughts & Encouragement (00:11:43) Toi offers encouragement, gratitude, and invites feedback from listeners.

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

"Over the past five years, I've been through the fire, releasing who I thought I had to be so that I could finally become who I'm meant to be."

"Once ladies become mothers or career-driven women, that's who they say they are, but when you take off those hats, who are you?'

"When I first started this journey of discovering who I was, I overgave, and now I don't do that."

"Now that I truly know myself and I understand my worth, everything's in alignment, and I'm going to continue to walk in this alignment."

"You don't want to give someone so much power that they feel you can't live without them, because you can."

RESOURCES:

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unbecomingmewithtoi/

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FOLLOW THE PODCAST: Unbecoming Me with Toi on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

"It's okay to not be okay—sometimes the pause is exactly what prepares you for your next season."

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "Unbecoming Me," host Toi returns after a brief hiatus, candidly sharing her recent struggles with grief, illness, and life's busyness. She emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to pause, heal, and unlearn societal pressures to always be "okay." Toi encourages listeners to embrace their unique journeys, highlighting her own story of patience and growth through career changes. The episode offers understanding, motivation, and reassurance that everyone's "due season" will come, reminding listeners not to give up and to trust their personal process of healing and transformation.

Timestamps

Personal Update & Absence Explained (00:00:46)
Toi explains her recent absence due to grief, illness, and life challenges, and acknowledges listeners facing similar struggles.

Societal Pressures & Permission to Pause (00:01:25)
Discussion on societal expectations to always be okay, and the importance of allowing oneself to take breaks and process emotions.

Unlearning Guilt & Embracing Experiences (00:02:48)
Toi shares her journey of unlearning guilt for missing events, celebrating personal wins, and valuing meaningful experiences.

Parenting & Value of Experiences Over Things (00:04:13)
Toi contrasts material possessions with the value of experiences for her son, emphasizing growth and exploration.

Encouragement & Motivation to Persevere (00:05:35)
Encourages listeners to breathe, persevere through tough times, and believe in positive outcomes and personal growth.

Due Season & Career Journey Story (00:06:54)
Toi shares a personal story about waiting for the right timing in her career, illustrating the concept of "due season."

Celebrating Success & Embracing the Season (00:08:06)
She celebrates her new job, reflects on growth, and encourages listeners to recognize and embrace their own seasons.

Final Encouragement & Episode Wrap-Up (00:09:25)
Toi motivates listeners to keep going, trust their journey, and not give up, closing the episode with encouragement.

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

"Over the past five years, I've been through the fire, releasing who I thought I had to be so that I could finally become who I'm meant to be."

"I've been hit by grief. I've been sick. My son has been sick. Life has just been life-ing."

"Something in my gut told me and reminded me, this isn't your season. You still have lessons to learn."

"This was my season. I got the job, and I'm the happiest I've been because I recognize that this is actually my season for this chapter."

"When I tell you I am a believer in that, and I am on the other end of that, I can tell you it's true."

RESOURCES:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/toiwaddles?mibextid=wwXIfr

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unbecomingmewithtoi/

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@unbecomingmewithtoi

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: Unbecoming Me with Toi on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

"It's okay to not be okay—sometimes the pause is exactly what prepares you for your next season."

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In the season finale of "Unbecoming Me," host Toi invites listeners to reflect on their true selves as they enter 2026. Exploring identity through the company we keep, our shadow sides, and authentic character, Toi encourages embracing every part of oneself—good, bad, and ugly. She revisits themes of healing, self-love, and growth, reminding listeners that it's okay to let go of relationships and old identities. Toi urges her audience to step into the new year with gratitude, authenticity, and supportive connections, emphasizing that being unapologetically yourself is the greatest gift.

Timestamps

Three Aspects of Identity (00:00:44)
Explains identity through company you keep, your shadow side, and your true character.

Season Reflection & Embracing Authenticity (00:02:54)
Reflects on season themes: self-care, self-love, embracing all parts of oneself, and the importance of authenticity.

Growth Beyond Titles & Entering 2026 (00:04:08)
Encourages listeners to look beyond roles and titles, and consider who they are entering the new year with.

Letting Go & Embracing New Relationships (00:05:20)
Discusses the acceptance of ending relationships, healing, and becoming a new version of oneself.

Shadow Side & Character for the New Year (00:06:34)
Urges accountability for one's shadow side and reflection on character for the upcoming year.

Affirmation & Support for Authenticity (00:07:53)
Affirms listeners' worth, encourages authentic living, and offers support for personal growth.

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

"Over the past five years, I have been through the fire, releasing who I thought I had to be so I could finally become who I'm meant to be."

"Sometimes, I just want to be myself and embrace who I am, willing to heal the bad and showcase the good."

"It's okay to move on and get to know a new me after shedding all of that."

"You deserve to be who you truly are, unapologetically and authentically."

"If you need help, let me know and I'll help you—I'm here."

RESOURCES:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/toiwaddles?mibextid=wwXIfr

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unbecomingmewithtoi/

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@unbecomingmewithtoi

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: Unbecoming Me with Toi on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

"Stepping into a new year isn't about becoming someone new—it's about being more of who you truly are."

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.