Marci is looking for safety as Arizona burns, and she may need to pick up a couple of hundred cats. There are the realistically phobic people, and the nut jobs and paranoics. You can find out who is who on social media.Turi is cautioned never to watch Game of Thrones. Fireworks in a hazard zone. Pickpocketing—a national sport. Fear of mascots.

Marci's personal "Burning Man" is causing her to reevaluate mountain living. What you can watch with a TV antenna. Turi's long, garlicky, painful busride: lessons learned.

"BCE"—before cellphones existed. Nice people make Turi look bad. When your spouse manipulates to make you manipulative. The non-shocking shock collar. The eternal conversation between mothers of kids behaving badly. When you are still punk. The unexpected sea chanty.

More reasons to lie to your spouse. Religion can save you from household drudgery. Marci contemplates blood in IMAX. An ample obsequious Alexa in every room. Education, Home Depot, and the baked potato.

Strategies for keeping your adult children from moving back in, including cinder block. Daddy long legs, worms, centipedes, and axolotyl lizards, oh my. How to delete a recurring nightmare from your consciousness.

The longer something has not been working, the better you feel when you find out you didn't break it. A room full of sports writers, and a moment of silence.

Rattlesnakes are all over Marci's neighborhood. There's a plan for that.
Disgusting things you probably never thought dogs could do. Disgusting things you probably never thought pigs could do.

Marci demonstrates the unusual value and properties of childproof caps, smartphones, and Skin-So-Soft. That friend who sends you articles about woo-woo faux science, and one of the hocus pocus queens leaves for an alternate dimension. Or maybe just leaves.