In this episode of Trauma Undone, host Natasha June sits down with therapist Tammy Kiekhaefer for a thoughtful conversation about trauma—how it forms, how it shows up in our bodies and relationships, and how healing requires more than just talking about the past. Together, they explore the lasting impact of childhood experiences, the importance of regulating the nervous system, and why a holistic, body-aware approach is essential for real change.

Tammy shares practical, grounded strategies for managing trauma, improving communication, and building healthier relationships. This episode emphasizes self-awareness, connection, and finding the right support as key elements of the healing journey.

Key Takeaways

• Reaching out for help is a powerful first step toward healing
• Calming the nervous system is essential before processing trauma
• Childhood experiences strongly influence adult behavior and relationships
• Trauma is stored in the body and can impact physical health
• Healthy communication is foundational to strong relationships
• Understanding attachment styles can improve relational dynamics
• Self-awareness supports both healing and personal growth
• Holistic approaches can complement and enhance traditional therapy
• Finding the right therapist matters for effective healing
• Engaging in meaningful, resonant practices can deepen the healing process

04:51 – Calming the Nervous System

06:15 – Childhood Experiences and Adult Life

12:26 – Holistic Approaches to Mental Health

15:13 – The Body’s Role in Trauma

19:19 – Navigating Relationships and Communication

24:27 – Preparing for Healthy Relationships

27:14 – Deepening the Healing Journey

29:42 – Encouragement to Seek Help

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Peter J. Boni shares his powerful true story of discovering at age 49 that the man he believed was his father was not his biological parent. What followed was a 22-year journey through DNA testing, genealogical research, therapy, and deep personal healing—a journey that exposed hidden trauma, reshaped his identity, and revealed unsettling truths about the fertility industry.

In this episode, Peter explores genealogical bewilderment, the psychological impact of family secrets, and how technology like DNA testing can unlock personal history while simultaneously triggering profound emotional upheaval. He opens up about compartmentalization, forgiveness, and the importance of sharing personal stories as a path to healing—not just individually, but collectively.

This conversation also shines a light on ethical failures and transparency issues within fertility practices, and why advocacy and reform are critical to preventing future identity crises.

A deeply human discussion about truth, trauma, healing, and reclaiming selfhood—and why “no more secrets” must become more than a mantra.

• Identity can be deeply disrupted by unexpected DNA revelations
• Genealogical bewilderment often triggers long-term emotional trauma
• Therapy helps unpack layered grief, shock, and loss
• Sharing personal stories creates healing through connection
• DNA technology can uncover truth—but also emotional complexity
• Compartmentalization protects survival, but sharing enables healing
• Forgiveness is a powerful step in reclaiming wholeness
• Transparency in fertility practices is urgently needed
• Healing is often collective, not solitary
• Writing can be a transformative tool for processing trauma

08:00 – Navigating Trauma: Grief, Shock & Identity Loss

14:06 – DNA Technology and the Search for Truth

20:04 – Healing Through Sharing: Why Secrets Destroy Identity

30:04 – Rebuilding Selfhood, Relationships & Trust

35:58 – Writing as a Tool for Healing Trauma

36:30 – The Fertility Industry Exposed: Ethics, Advocacy & Reform

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In this conversation, Laura Howe, a relationship counselor, shares her profound insights on healing through intimacy, self-discovery, and the importance of solitude.

She discusses her personal journey from a troubled childhood to finding strength in relationships and nature. Laura emphasizes the significance of understanding emotions, overcoming shame, and the role of intimacy in healing. She also highlights the importance of self-care and making conscious choices to foster well-being.

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