Do good things happen in your life and your very first thought is…

“What bad thing is coming next?”

“This can’t possibly last.”

Or even worse:

“I don’t deserve this anyway”?

If that quiet, sneaky voice just made your stomach drop, you’re not alone.

That voice is what I call Undeserving Ursula — the quietest, sneakiest gremlin in my Gremlins & Goats framework.

She doesn’t scream like the others. She just whispers:

“Good things aren’t for people like us.”

“Wanting more is dangerous.”

“You’ll just be disappointed anyway.”

She’s sneaky.

She doesn’t yell.

She just quietly blocks joy, keeps you in scarcity, and makes wanting feel unsafe.

Sound familiar?

Here are the ways she most often shows up for people I work with (and how she used to show up for me):

• Someone gives you a genuine compliment → instant thought: “They’re just being nice. They don’t know the real me.”
• You get a promotion, opportunity, or praise → immediate panic: “This was a mistake. It’ll get taken away. I don’t deserve this.”
• Nice invitations come in (vacations, events, gifts) → you turn them down: “I don’t deserve to have it that good.”
• Life is actually going well → you feel guilty: “I’m using up my happiness quota.”
• Things start improving → you self-sabotage: “Happiness isn’t meant for me anyway.”

These patterns aren’t random.

They’re rooted in toxic shame and an inner critic that learned early: “Good things aren’t for people like us.”

But here’s the truth you can start living today:

You deserve good things.

And you can train your brain to believe it.

The Goat-Powered Way to Quiet Ursula

When Ursula blocks the good stuff, here’s what to do (this is the exact tool from my book Gremlins & Goats: Shedding Shame):

1. Bleat it out: When she whispers “Good things aren’t for people like us,” look that gremlin dead in the eye and say: Shaaa-ame! (Yes, out loud if you can. It feels ridiculous—and that’s the point. Shame can’t survive humor.)
2. Drop a big truth bomb: Replace the lie with one powerful truth. My favorite: “I deserve good things.” Or: “I am allowed to receive.”
3. Name it out loud: Right now, say one thing you want—like you already deserve it. Examples:
   • “I want a peaceful weekend.”
   • “I want to be celebrated.”
   • “I want financial ease.” Say it like it’s already yours. This simple act starts rewiring the scarcity story.

Do this daily.

Watch how scarcity slowly turns into gratitude… And gratitude opens the door to real joy, happiness, and abundance.

Peace and abundance aren’t a fluke.

They are your birthright.

Ready to Quiet Ursula for Good?

You don’t have to stay stuck in this pattern.

Here’s how to start moving the needle today:

• Start the free 7-day challenge → Take the Gremlins & Goats quiz right now at lighthouseokc.com/quiz. You’ll get a personalized 7-day email sequence to starve Ursula and start feeling deserving.
• Go deeper with the mini-course → The full Gremlins & Goats system (book PDF, interactive worksheets, guided meditations) is waiting for you at lighthouseokc.com/gremlins-and-goats.
• Join the live intensive → For embodied, group transformation, secure your spot in the Gremlins & Goats Shedding Shame Intensive on January 31st (only 12 spots left). Details & registration: lighthouseokc.com/therapyintensive.

You deserve good things.

Not someday.

Right

Ever feel like everyone else got the "normal human manual"...
and you were absent that day?

Like there's something fundamentally broken inside you that can't be fixed?

If that's hitting home right now — this is for you.

Meet Broken Bobby, the shame gremlin who loves pointing at your scars whispering "defective."

Here are some of the most common ways he appears:

• You feel like everyone else has their life together, but you’re the only one who’s a mess inside.
• You can’t fully enjoy happy moments because you’re braced, waiting for “proof” that you’re actually defective.
• You avoid deep relationships because if people really knew you, they’d see how broken you are.
• You over-explain or over-apologize constantly, assuming people are secretly judging your flaws.
• You live feeling one small mistake away from everyone finally realizing you’re “not normal.”

Any of those hit? If yes, take a breath. You’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

When Bobby starts the “something’s wrong with me” loop:

1. Bleat it out loud (yes, actually make the sound—it interrupts the shame spiral): Shaaa-ame 🐐 (Make it goat-ish. Have fun with it. Shame hates being mocked.)
2. Drop a big truth bomb. Some of my favorites:
   • I’m human, not broken.
   • I’m battle-scarred and still whole.
   • My scars are proof I survived and grew.
3. Name three ways you are beautifully human out loud. Examples:
   • I feel deeply.
   • I care fiercely.
   • I keep showing up even when it’s hard.

When Broken Bobby quiets down, something beautiful happens.

You stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You let yourself be seen—scars and all.

You take up space without apology.

You feel joy without bracing for proof you don’t deserve it.

You start living like the whole, worthy human you’ve always been.

If Broken Bobby is loud right now:

1. Start small and free → Take the Gremlins & Goats quiz at LighthouseOKC.com/quiz. You’ll get a personalized gremlin report + a 7-day email sequence to begin starving shame today.
2. Go deeper → Join the full Gremlins & Goats mini-course. It includes:
   • The complete PDF of my book Gremlins & Goats: Shedding Shame
   • Interactive worksheets
   • Guided meditations
   • Everything I teach my private clients
3. Ready for transformation → Limited spots are open for my in-person therapy intensive in Oklahoma City. Small group, deep immersive work. Visit LighthouseOKC.com/therapyintensive for details.

You are not broken. You are human. Battle-scarred, yes. But whole. Worthy. And so very capable of healing.

The goat is louder. Let’s bleat together.

Do you finally hit a big goal — the weight, the revenue, the degree, the dream house — and instead of celebrating, your brain whispers, “Okay, but now you need…”?

If that just made you sigh, this episode is for you.

Welcome back to Thinking Out Loud! I’m Lexie Loman, licensed therapist, and today we’re diving into the third gremlin in our Gremlins & Goats series: Never Enough Nancy.

Nancy is the shame gremlin who convinces you that peace, contentment, confidence, and worth are always just one more achievement away. Every time you check the box (lose the 10 pounds, get the certification, find the partner), she quietly raises the bar higher — leaving you stuck in an endless cycle of “never enough.”

In this episode, we explore:

• How Never Enough Nancy shows up in everyday life (deflecting compliments, skipping celebrations, feeling “basic” after big purchases, and more)
• Why chasing the next goal will never fill the internal hole
• The simple, powerful Gremlins & Goats practice: Bleat “Shaaa-ame!” then drop one big truth bomb to starve the gremlin and feed your peace
• My personal story of battling Nancy through college, grad school, certifications, and material milestones — until I finally learned I was enough exactly as I was

You don’t have to stop growing — you just get to stop growing from lack.

Practicing this builds more peace and gratitude than years of chasing ever will. Good enough is feast for your goat.

Ready to quiet Nancy today?
👉 Take the FREE Gremlins & Goats Quiz for a 7-day email sequence to start starving shame: https://lighthouseokc.com
👉 Grab the full $57 Gremlins & Goats Mini-Course (PDF book + audiobook + workbook + videos + bonuses): https://lighthouseokc.com

Next episode: We meet Broken Bobby and learn how to prove every day that nothing is fundamentally wrong with you.

Thanks for thinking out loud with me — here’s to leading a life you love.

#NeverEnoughSyndrome #InnerCritic #PerfectionismRecovery #PeoplePleaser #ShameResilience #GremlinsAndGoats #HighAchievingWomen #SelfWorth #MentalHealthPodcast