In today’s edition of The Update Journal… we start on a New York City bus, where one perfectly timed (and completely unnecessary) “Stop Requested” moment sends me spiraling into a nearly 20-year-old memory I didn’t ask to revisit—but somehow remembered in full HD.

Then, we head over to the cartoon justice system, where getting unmasked by Scooby-Doo apparently comes with an automatic life sentence. Petty real estate scheme? Straight to maximum security. Mildly elaborate disguise? No parole. Honestly, the real mystery is how NONE of these villains ever hired a lawyer.

And finally, just when you thought clearing your browser history was only about hiding embarrassment… turns out it might actually be saving you money. Because yes—airlines may be watching you refresh that flight page like it’s a playoff game, and responding accordingly.

It’s nostalgia, injustice, and algorithmic side-eyes—all in one ride. No transfer required.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Thursday, King Charles III and Queen Camilla visited the site of the Sept. 11 attacks, met with schoolchildren and business titans and socialized with celebrities during a busy swing through New York City— the first visit to the city by a reigning British monarch in 16 years.

Transponders that might have helped pinpoint the location of a fire truck that collided with a landing Air Canada jet in New York will soon be installed on ground vehicles at the region’s three major airports.

And in Washington, The Supreme Court hollowed out a landmark Civil Rights-era law that has increased minority representation in Congress and elsewhere, striking down a majority Black congressional district in Louisiana and opening the door for more redistricting across the country that could aid Republican efforts to control the House.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal… McDonald’s has officially decided that burgers were just the opening act, and now they’re coming for your entire beverage identity. Cold foam, refreshers, mystery fruit combinations… at this point, they’re one oat milk away from opening inside a yoga studio.

Meanwhile, the ice cream truck economy is booming again, which means Mr. Softee is back on the streets like a seasonal superhero—serving joy, playing that one song on loop, and charging prices that suggest inflation hit soft serve personally.

And then there’s Brandon’s Take, where we ask the important question: why is EVERYTHING exclusive now? Want to watch a game? Exclusive. Want a deal? App only. Want basic access to anything without downloading, subscribing, or sacrificing your firstborn? Yeah… good luck with that.

It’s a world of cold drinks, cold cash, and even colder access—and somehow, we’re all just expected to tap the app and smile.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Wednesday, the goon accused of gunning down a beloved East Village deli worker was rounded up in a massive federal gang takedown a decade ago — and came back to allegedly terrorize the neighborhood.

The woman at the center of Harvey Weinstein ‘s repeatedly retried rape case testified — for the third time — Tuesday that the former Hollywood honcho trapped her in a New York hotel room and assaulted her, ignoring her pleas not to do anything sexual.

And in Washington, King Charles III marked the 250th anniversary of American independence from Britain with gratitude that the two countries united to build “one of the most consequential alliances in human history” while urging “that we ignore the clarion calls to become ever more inward-looking.”

In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we begin by doing something rarely seen in sports discourse: not blaming the guy holding the lineup card. Carlos Mendoza hasn't been fired yet, but may become the latest victim of the “fire him and figure it out later” strategy, even though he didn’t build the roster, break the bullpen, or personally tell hitters to forget how bats work. But sure—let’s start there.

Then it's another edition of Great Ideas- On Paper. It's one of life’s greatest scams: bus WiFi. It’s always there. It’s always available. And yet somehow, it has the emotional support of a dead goldfish. You can connect… but spiritually, you’re on your own.

Then later, in today’s Honorable Mention, we take a brief and slightly concerned look at the internet continuing to be the internet, as an OnlyFans creator reveals the strangest requests she’s received—which raises the important question: who are these people, and why do they have disposable income?

It’s confusion, deflection, and questionable life choices… all in one place.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Tuesday, A man convicted in the 2024 shooting death of an NYPD officer during a traffic stop will spend the rest of his life behind bars after a judge sentenced him to 115 years to life in prison.

A teenage straphanger was shot while he was riding a Queens-bound A train, police say.

And in Washington, the man who authorities say tried to storm the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner with guns and knives was charged with the attempted assassination of President Trump as federal authorities suggested an attack that disrupted one of Washington’s glitziest events had been planned for at least several weeks.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we begin in Queens—yes, Queens—where the Mets managed to hit rock bottom at home, getting swept in a doubleheader by the Rockies… a team that treats winning like it’s an optional side quest. At Citi Field, no less. Nothing says “home field advantage” like personally hosting your own downfall. At this point, the only thing elevated wasn’t the Rockies—it was the collective blood pressure of everyone in the building.

Then, love is dead—again. Megan Thee Stallion and Klay Thompson have called it quits, proving that even a Splash Brother can’t always stay afloat. Somewhere, Stephen Curry is shaking his head like, “This is why we keep our shots behind the arc… and out of relationships.”

And finally, we wrap it up with a tribute to the most dangerous sentence in the English language: “This felt like a good idea at the time.” Whether it’s trusting public WiFi, using your last challenge in the first inning, or thinking the Mets might salvage one game at home—today is a celebration of bold decisions… immediately followed by regret.

It’s messy, it’s painful, and somehow… it’s still funny.

In the healdines on #TheUpdate this Monday, a late night argument outside a Manhattan deli turned deadly — leaving one man shot dead and another wounded, cops and sources say.

A 16-year-old boy was shot and killed at a Brooklyn bodega during a deadly clash with another teen, according to police and the store’s manager.

And out in the American West in California, the man arrested in the shooting at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner is a highly educated tutor and amateur video game developer opposed to the policies of President Trump.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we ask the important questions: how rich do you have to be to unlock unlimited McDonald’s like it’s a secret level in a video game—and more importantly, who do we need to fight to get one?

Meanwhile, Maury is apparently coming back to television, because nothing says “progress” like a lie detector, a manila envelope, and someone sprinting backstage in tears.

And as for me? I’m out here on Senior Retreat, surrounded by nature, fresh air, and just enough silence to make me deeply uncomfortable. No city noise, no chaos… no Tommie. Which means I’m left alone with my thoughts—and that’s never gone well for anyone involved.

Enjoy this bonus editon of The Update, on the road from Senior Retreat, featuring the Mets surviving a ninth-inning bullpen mix-up when Huascar Brazobán went to the mound as closer Devin Williams started walking in, then hung on to beat the Twins behind Bo Bichette’s tiebreaking, three-run double for their second straight win after a 12-game skid.

And in Oklahoma, a powerful tornado ripped roofs off buildings and reduced others to rubble, knocked down power poles and sent emergency crews rushing into a rural community near Vance Air Force Base, officials said.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we begin with a full-blown financial identity crisis—because nothing says “start your day strong” like standing at the register wondering if a $2 bill is going to buy your breakfast… or get you investigated by the Secret Service. Is it rare? Yes. Is it legal tender? Also yes. Will the cashier look at you like you just handed them pirate treasure? Absolutely.

Then, the return of our favorite series: Great Ideas… On Paper, featuring OMNY—New York City’s bold leap into the future where “tap to pay” really means “tap… again… no, again… one more time… actually never mind, just walk.” Nothing builds character quite like holding up an entire bus while the machine decides if it respects your bank account today.

And finally, in our Honorable Mention, we dive into a study asking the age-old question: who are the real gold diggers? Men or women? The answer is apparently “yes,” and honestly, at this point, everyone’s just trying to secure the bag in an economy where even the subway fare machine has trust issues.

It’s money, mayhem, and mild emotional damage—just another perfectly balanced day around here.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Thursday, a baby girl was left abandoned in her overturned stroller in Times Square by her heartless father— with cops now looking for the deadbeat dad, police and sources say.

Mayor Mamdani quickly served up solidarity to his Democratic Socialists of America comrade Chi Ossé — calling out the Brooklyn councilman’s “concerning” arrest where he was filmed blocking authorities during an anti-eviction protest.

And in Washington, Navy Secretary John Phelan is leaving his job, the Pentagon abruptly announced, the first head of a military service to depart during President Trump’s second term but just the latest top defense leader to step down or be ousted.

Hello everyone! We're going into #TheUpdate vault to play one of our many episodes throughout our many years of the show. For today's episode, we go into the world of Year 5 of The Update. When we first started this then-show at WKRB in 2017, the first year had a lot of things going on. Donald Trump's first year in office, mass shootings worldwide, and the Great American Solar Eclipse to name just a few. In Year 5, it was more of the same. There was the Russian war in Ukraine, more mass shootings in America, and the overturning of Roe V. Wade to name just a few that we'll mention. But also, after more than two years out on the road, we made our way to a new studio at UD Team in the summer of 2022. Oh, and one last thing- be on the lookout for some WKRB highlights as we looked back on five years of memories.

Hello everyone! We're going into #TheUpdate vault to play one of our many episodes throughout our many years of the show. For today's episode, we go into the world of Year 5 of The Update. When we first started this then-show at WKRB in 2017, the first year had a lot of things going on. Donald Trump's first year in office, mass shootings worldwide, and the Great American Solar Eclipse to name just a few. In Year 5, it was more of the same. There was the Russian war in Ukraine, more mass shootings in America, and the overturning of Roe V. Wade to name just a few that we'll mention. But also, after more than two years out on the road, we made our way to a new studio at UD Team in the summer of 2022. Oh, and one last thing- be on the lookout for some WKRB highlights as we looked back on five years of memories.