This week’s Update Journal is a three-part emotional rollercoaster featuring false goodbyes, television betrayal, and a body that clearly did not read the New Year memo. First, a miracle: five dollars—long presumed dead and buried—returns to my life like an ex who “just wants to talk,” forcing me to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about economic stability. Then, a media mystery: MythBusters is still on TV… allegedly. The name remains, the explosions remain, but the people? Absolute strangers. I don’t know who they are, I don’t know how they got there, and I’m fairly certain they haven’t watched their own episodes either. And finally, the seasonal grand finale: seasonal depression teams up with flu season in a crossover nobody asked for, proving once again that winter is not a vibe—it’s a hostile environment. Consider this episode part reflection, part rant, and part public service announcement reminding everyone to wash their hands and stop rebooting things that didn’t need saving.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Monday, thousands of nurses in three hospital systems in New York City went on strike after negotiations through the weekend failed to yield breakthroughs in their contract disputes.

Richard “Dick” Codey, a former acting governor of New Jersey and the longest serving legislator in the state’s history, died Sunday. He was 79.

And in Minneapolis, federal agents carrying out immigration arrests in Minnesota’s Twin Cities region already shaken by the fatal shooting of a woman rammed the door of one home and pushed their way inside, part of what the Department of Homeland Security has called its largest enforcement operation ever.