In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we begin by doing something rarely seen in sports discourse: not blaming the guy holding the lineup card. Carlos Mendoza hasn't been fired yet, but may become the latest victim of the “fire him and figure it out later” strategy, even though he didn’t build the roster, break the bullpen, or personally tell hitters to forget how bats work. But sure—let’s start there.

Then it's another edition of Great Ideas- On Paper. It's one of life’s greatest scams: bus WiFi. It’s always there. It’s always available. And yet somehow, it has the emotional support of a dead goldfish. You can connect… but spiritually, you’re on your own.

Then later, in today’s Honorable Mention, we take a brief and slightly concerned look at the internet continuing to be the internet, as an OnlyFans creator reveals the strangest requests she’s received—which raises the important question: who are these people, and why do they have disposable income?

It’s confusion, deflection, and questionable life choices… all in one place.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Tuesday, A man convicted in the 2024 shooting death of an NYPD officer during a traffic stop will spend the rest of his life behind bars after a judge sentenced him to 115 years to life in prison.

A teenage straphanger was shot while he was riding a Queens-bound A train, police say.

And in Washington, the man who authorities say tried to storm the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner with guns and knives was charged with the attempted assassination of President Trump as federal authorities suggested an attack that disrupted one of Washington’s glitziest events had been planned for at least several weeks.