Today, I sit down with Dr. Joyce Martella, the youngest daughter of the leader of the high-control religious system where I was raised for 19 years.

We talk about what it was like for her to grow up as the cult leader’s daughter, the pressure to be perfect, and the trauma of living under authority treated as God’s voice. She shares personal stories of manipulation, control, and spiritual abuse, and we unpack how those experiences shape identity, attachment, and the nervous system.

We also discuss childhood trauma responses in adults, signs of repressed childhood trauma, bonding over shared trauma, and healing from betrayal trauma within religious systems.

If you are working to heal nervous system trauma, overcome childhood trauma, or begin breaking generational trauma patterns, this conversation offers both lived experience and clinical insight.

⟡ WHAT WE TALK ABOUT

• Growing up as the daughter of a cult leader
• Spiritual abuse and psychological manipulation
• Control tactics used in high-control religious groups
• Identity fragmentation and trauma bonding
• Childhood trauma responses in adulthood
• Healing from betrayal trauma
• How to heal the nervous system from trauma
• The long road to overcoming childhood trauma

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ ABOUT OUR GUEST

Dr. Joyce Martella holds a PhD in psychology and works directly with survivors of high-control groups, helping them untangle identity, trauma, spiritual abuse, and nervous system imprinting.

→ Website | joycemartella.com

→ Work With Dr. Joyce | workwithdrjoyce.com

→ LinkedIn | linkedin.com/in/joycemartella

→ Email | drjoyce@joycemartella.com

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone working through religious trauma, spiritual abuse, or childhood trauma recovery. Healing happens in safe conversations, and you do not have to untangle it alone.

You are not broken. You are healing.

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

Produced by AOLI.fm.

Community is supposed to feel safe. But for me, it didn’t.

In this episode, I share what community meant inside the cult I grew up in, and how control was disguised as love. I talk about how obedience replaced autonomy, how belonging came with conditions, and how that shaped my nervous system as an adult.

We explore childhood trauma responses in adults, healing from betrayal trauma, how to heal trauma bonding, where childhood trauma is stored in the body, and how to heal nervous system from trauma so we can break generational trauma instead of repeating it.

If connection feels complicated for you, there is a reason.

⟡ THINK OF THIS ONEWhen I hear the word community, does my body soften or tense?

⟡ WHAT I TALK ABOUT TODAY

• Growing up in a cult and how the communitybecame control
• Childhood trauma responses in adults and fear of belonging
• Healing from betrayal trauma in high control religious environments
• Signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults
• Where childhood trauma is stored in the body, and why the nervous system stays guarded
• How to healthe nervous system from trauma through safe connection
• Breaking generational trauma by rebuilding a healthy community
• How to heal from childhood trauma without therapy

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKSNaomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous systemfrom trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOINGIf this episode reminded you of your own light, share it with someone still finding theirs and help spread the message that healing is possible, and no one has to walk it alone.

⟡⟡⟡Produced by AOLI.fm.

Momhood taught me a lot. One of the hardest lessons was realizing that I was teaching people how to treat me by the way I was treating myself. Every time I pushed past my limits, apologized for resting, or made myself the last priority, I was modeling something to my kids.

In this episode, I talk about what it means to prioritize yourself without guilt. Not by quitting your responsibilities. But in small, steady choices that say, I matter too. We explore how childhood trauma responses in adults can make rest feel unsafe, why guilt shows up when you stop overfunctioning, and how to heal your nervous system from trauma so you can parent from regulation instead of survival mode.

⟡QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Our actions teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves.”

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode reminded you of your own light, share it with someone still finding theirs and help spread the message that healing is possible, and no one has to walk it alone.

Produced by AOLI.fm.

Mom guilt has followed me through so many moments of motherhood. It shows up when I rest, when I set boundaries, when I enjoy my life, and when I admit that motherhood can feel overwhelming. In this episode, I talk about why mom guilt is not always the truth. Often, it is a nervous system response rooted in childhood trauma, survival patterns, and the waysmany of us learned to earn love through self-sacrifice.

⟡QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Needing rest doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human.”

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode reminded you of your own light, share it with someone still finding theirs and help spread the message that healing is possible, and no one has to walk it alone.

This podcast is produced by AOLI.fm.

Mom guilt can feel instant and overwhelming. It shows up when you rest. When you set boundaries. When you enjoy your life.

In this episode, I explain why mom guilt is not a sign that you are doing motherhood wrong. It is a learned nervous system response rooted in childhood conditioning and survival patterns. We talk about how guilt lives in the body, why it often gets louder when you start healing, and how breaking generational trauma can bring discomfort before it brings relief.

This episode helps you understand where mom guilt comes from so you can meet it with compassion instead of pressure and begin healing from the inside out.

⟡ PAUSE AND NOTICE

When guilt shows up, pause and ask yourself what your body is protecting right now. Notice where you feel it. Place a hand there. Take a slow breath. Remind yourself that rest and boundaries can be safe.

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Website| theunapologetictruthh.com

→ IG | ⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode reminded you of your own light, share it with someone still finding theirs and help spread the message that healing is possible, and no one has to walk it alone.

⟡⟡⟡
This podcast is produced by AOLI.fm.

Motherhood brings old wounds to the surface, not because something is wrong, but because your nervous system isclose enough to safety to feel them. In this episode, I share how parenting can activate unhealed trauma, especially for those who grew up without emotional safety. Our children often mirror the parts of us that were never seen or protected.

I talk openly about my son’s anxiety, our choice to homeschool, and what it revealed about my own inner child.

This is about reparenting yourself while raising your children, holding grief and love at the same time, and breaking cycles without shame. If you feel triggered or confused, you are not failing. You are healing.

⟡ PAUSE AND NOTICE

Your child doesn’t trigger you because you’re a bad parent. They trigger you because you’re a wounded one who is healing.

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous system from trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Connect with Naomi on IG:⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode reminded you of your own light, share it with someone still finding theirs and help spread the message that healing is possible, and no one has to walk it alone.

This podcast is produced by AOLI.fm.

This episode is about slowing down without guilt. I talk about why old emotions can surface when life finally feels calm and why that is a sign of safety, not failure. This comes up often for parents who are healing while raising their children.

I share how comparison quietly blocks healing through timelines, pressure, and the feeling that you should be further along. Healing does not happen through force. It happens through safety, presence, and listening to your body. Triggers are not regression. Awareness is progress.

⟡ PAUSE AND NOTICE

When you catch yourself comparing, pause and come back to what your body is asking for today.

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKSNaomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous systemfrom trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Connect with Naomi on IG:⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOINGIf this episode reminded you of your own light, share it with someone still finding theirs and help spread the message that healing is possible, and no one has to walk it alone.

This podcast is produced by AOLI.fm.

Sometimes healing brings up two feelings at once. Love and sadness. Pride and pain. Gratitude for what you can give now,and grief for what you never received. In this episode, I share a moment with my daughter that stirred both.

Watching her feel safe filled me with gratitude, and also touched the sadness of not having that as a child.

We talk about why grief does not cancel gratitude and why feeling both is part of healing, not a problem.

⟡ TRY THIS REFLECTION

Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Take a slow breath and remind yourself you are allowed to feel both. Notice what shifts when you stop pushing any feeling away. You don’t have to choose between gratitude and grief.Both belong.

⟡ ABOUT THE HOST, NAOMI SPARKS

Naomi Sparks is a mom, wife, healing coach, and a cult survivor. She grew up in a tightly controlled religious cult in Northern California and spent years disconnected from her true self. She now helps others heal their nervous systemfrom trauma, rebuild trust in their bodies, and reconnect with who they are beneath survival mode.

→ Connect with Naomi on IG:⁠ @theunapologetictruthh⁠

⟡ LET’S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

If this episode reminded you of your own light, share it with someone still finding theirs and help spread the message that healing is possible, and no one has to walk it alone.

This podcast is produced by AOLI.fm.