What does it mean to be non-binary when you don’t feel like either a man or a woman?

In this episode of The Spectrum, Kris shares their experience of discovering they are non-binary and agender. For much of their life, Kris simply thought they weren’t very good at being a woman. It wasn’t until the pandemic, when they encountered the language of gender identity and discovered other people with similar experiences, that another possibility began to make sense.

Linda and Kris talk about discovering a non-binary identity later in life, the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation, and why being agender is different from other non-binary experiences. They also explore pronouns, language, family, work, medical care, and what it is like to move through a world where people often make assumptions about your gender.

Kris explains why they/them pronouns matter to them, while also describing the complicated reality of being perceived as female despite identifying as agender. They talk about keeping “mom” as a title for their children, finding gender-neutral language that works for their family, and even using their name instead of pronouns when someone is still getting used to they/them.

Most importantly, this is a conversation about discovering that “I don't fit either” can be an identity of its own—and about what it means simply to be recognized as a person.

Find the transcript at: https://spectrumpodcast.org/?p=860

00:00 What Does It Mean to Be Non-Binary?

00:55 What Does Agender Mean?

01:25 Discovering a Non-Binary Identity

02:54 Growing Up Without Feeling Like a Girl

03:47 “I Don’t Fit Either”

04:10 Pansexuality, Bisexuality and Gender Identity

05:07 Compartmentalizing Gender and Sexuality

06:04 Finding Language and Other People Like Me

08:46 Non-Binary Identity, Marriage and Top Surgery

09:43 Body Dysphoria and Gynecological Care

11:27 Non-Binary Voice, Gender Perception and Pronouns

12:42 Coming Out as Non-Binary to Family and Work

14:01 Non-Binary Parents and Gender-Neutral Language

16:17 Being Non-Binary at Work and in Public

18:01 Non-Binary People and Medical Care

20:11 Being Misgendered and Living as Non-Binary

21:14 Why Pronouns Can Be Complicated

22:02 Choosing Whether to Be Open About Pronouns

23:30 Gender-Neutral Language Beyond Pronouns

24:00 How Non-Binary People Relate to Men and Women

24:49 Why Defaulting to Neutral Language Can Help

25:28 Understanding Non-Binary Identity

26:02 “I’m a Person, Just Like Anyone Else”

26:43 You Don’t Have to Agree With Someone to Be Kind

27:57 One Person’s Experience of Being Non-Binary

The episode explores the history and significance of pronouns in the English language, the challenges of gendered pronouns, the emergence of non-binary pronouns, and the importance of respecting and using correct pronouns for individuals. It emphasizes the impact of pronouns on emotional well-being and the need for acceptance and validation.

Chapters

• 00:00 The History of Pronouns
• 01:36 Gendered Pronouns in English
• 02:44 Non-Binary Pronouns
• 05:57 Resistance to Change
• 07:25 Importance of Using Correct Pronouns
• 11:06 The Problem with Pronouns

You can find the transcript at: https://spectrumpodcast.org/?p=678

For 58 years, Maria believed she understood who she was.

She thought she was simply someone who occasionally needed to express a different side of herself. Transition wasn't part of the plan.

Then, after the end of a long marriage, she asked herself a simple question:

"What can I do to be happy?"

The answer surprised her.

In this conversation, Maria shares the winding path that led her to transition later in life, why she spent decades believing she was "just" a cross-dresser, how one month of living as Maria changed everything, and why she says she was "suddenly happy" for the first time in her life.

We also talk about:

• Growing up without understanding what she was experiencing
• Living two very different lives
• Marriage, divorce, and moving to France
• Discovering confidence after transition
• Emotional dysphoria
• Why she chose medical transition
• Reconciling the person she used to be with the person she is today

Maria's story is unique, but its themes are universal: searching for happiness, learning to accept yourself, and discovering that it's never too late to become the person you were meant to be.

You can find the transcript at: https://spectrumpodcast.org/?p=597

If this conversation helped you better understand the transgender experience—or simply reminded you that every person has a story worth hearing—please consider liking the video, subscribing, and sharing it with someone else.

The mission of The Spectrum is simple: to humanize LGBTQ+ people by sharing honest conversations with real people.

If you'd like to share your own story on a future episode, we'd love to hear from you.

What does an LGBTQ community center actually do?

I visited Casa BruMar Foundation's new LGBTQIA+ Community Center in Woodbridge, Virginia to find out.

Executive Director Evelyn BruMar gave me a tour of the space and shared the vision behind creating "Our Center"—a place designed to feel like home for LGBTQ people and their families.

But this episode isn't just about the building.

You'll also hear three personal stories:

• A mother describing the moment her transgender son experienced overwhelming gender euphoria after surgery.
• A transgender man sharing a hilarious childhood story about proving he was "really a boy" by touching a worm.
• A gender-affirming therapist explaining the fears many LGBTQ youth face and why supportive spaces matter.

You'll also get a look at Casa BruMar's services, including community programs, a library, food and hygiene pantry, maker space, learning kitchen, and more.

If you've ever wondered what an LGBTQ community center is really like—or why these spaces matter—I hope you'll join me for the visit.

Learn more about Casa BruMar Foundation:
https://casabrumarfoundation.org

Episode Transcript:

There are reports in The Advocate and LGBTQ Nation that a post on social media falsely accused Virginia Army National Guard Chief Warrant Officer Jo Ellis of piloting the Black Hawk helicopter that crashed into the American Eagle airplane near National Airport.

These reports are false

Advocate:
https://www.advocate.com/news/transgender-pilot-false-accusation-crash

LGBTQ Nation
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/01/conservatives-are-now-blaming-the-dc-crash-on-a-trans-woman-who-had-nothing-to-do-with-it/

Ms. Ellis Facebook statement:
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1A7eokvfkk/

00:00 Introduction & Episode 5 Overview
00:07 DC Plane Crash Near Reagan National Airport
00:22 Trump Blames DEI Hiring for Air Collision Without Evidence
00:43 False Transgender Rumor Spread After DC Crash
00:52 FakeGayNews Falsely Accuses Trans National Guard Officer
01:00 Transgender Soldier Identified in Viral False Claim
01:08 Virginia National Guard Confirms Officer Was Not Involved
01:18 MAGA Social Media Amplifies False Transgender Accusation
01:41 Trump’s Anti-Trans Rhetoric and Safety Concerns
01:49 Calls for Accountability Over Dangerous False Claims
01:56 Concerns About Violence Fueled by Anti-Trans Disinformation
02:00 Sources, Show Notes & Closing Remarks

Transcript:

https://spectrumpodcast.org/2025/01/31/episode-5-transgender-woman-falsely-accused-of-causing-air-crash/

In Episode 23 of The Spectrum, we explore what "coming out" truly means for the LGBT+ community and why it remains such a significant and personal milestone. This episode is designed to help straight, cisgender viewers understand the complexities and importance of coming out, from the first step of self-acceptance to the ongoing process of sharing one's identity with others. Drawing on personal experiences and conversations within the community, the discussion covers the diverse journeys of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals, the evolving challenges they face, and the crucial role of visibility in fostering understanding and acceptance. Whether you're an ally or part of the LGBT+ community, this episode offers valuable insights into why coming out matters and how we can all contribute to a more inclusive world.

00:00 Introduction: What “Coming Out” Means for LGBTQ+ People
00:01 Why This Podcast Exists – Humanizing LGBTQ+ Conversations
01:10 What Does “Cisgender” Mean?
01:38 What Coming Out Actually Means
02:40 The First Step: Coming Out to Yourself
03:48 When Do People Realize They’re LGBTQ+?
04:32 Bisexuality and the Journey of Self-Understanding
05:19 Transgender Self-Discovery and Identity
05:58 Coming Out to Others: What Happens Next?
06:42 Why Coming Out Can Be More Complex for Transgender People
07:45 Living Openly vs Blending In After Transition
08:06 Nonbinary and Asexual Experiences with Coming Out
08:39 Who Controls When Someone Comes Out?
09:20 Why Coming Out Happens More Than Once
09:57 Why Being Open About LGBTQ+ Identity Matters
10:28 Respecting Trust: Never Out Someone Without Permission
10:55 Final Thoughts: Honesty, Safety, and Living Authentically

Transcript:

https://spectrumpodcast.org/2025/07/10/episode-23-coming-out-for-the-straight-person/

This episode provides an update on the changes being made to policy on transgender students in the Shenandoah County Public School system.

00:00 – Introduction: Episode 15 and March 2025 Recording
00:06 – Shenandoah County School Board Meeting Overview
00:12 – Policy INB: Revisions to Teaching Controversial Issues
00:33 – Public Comments: Advocating for Student-Teacher Support
00:52 – Addressing Misunderstandings of Gender Identity
01:09 – Gloria Carlineo and the Proposed Gender Education Ban
01:25 – Board Procedural Conflicts and Postponing the Vote
01:56 – Timeline for Future Updates: April and May Meetings
02:07 – Share Your Story: Contact The Spectrum Podcast

Transcript:

https://spectrumpodcast.org/2025/03/20/episode-15-march-2025-shenandoah-county-school-update/

In the wake of the 2024 election, the fears of an anti-LGBTQ+ platform have become a stark reality. Within hours of the inauguration, the Trump administration issued an executive order titled, "DEFENDING WOMEN FROM GENDER IDEOLOGY EXTREMISM AND RESTORING BIOLOGICAL TRUTH TO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT." But what does this order actually do?

Join us as we dissect this policy, arguing that its real purpose is to erase any recognition of transgender people at the federal level. We break down the administration's flawed and unscientific attempt to define sex as a rigid binary determined at conception, a definition that would fail a 9th-grade biology class by ignoring the complexities of human development and intersex conditions.

This video explores how the order completely denies the existence of gender identity, a core component of every person's sense of self. We challenge the cynical claim that this policy is about "protecting women," exposing the hypocrisy of this statement and highlighting the real dangers transgender people face.

We urge you to watch, reflect on a thought experiment to better understand the transgender experience, and take action. This episode isn't just about a single policy; it's a warning that after targeting the transgender community, other LGBTQ+ rights will be next. Find out how you can make your voice heard and where to find support if you are affected by these actions.

00:00 Intro & Episode 3 Overview
01:00 Trump Executive Order on Transgender Rights Explained
01:32 “Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism” Breakdown
02:32 Trump Administration Policy on Sex and Gender Identity
03:37 Project 2025 and Trump’s Transgender Policy Agenda
04:25 Criticism of Trump’s Definition of Biological Sex
05:03 Why the “Male and Female at Conception” Claim Is Controversial
06:00 Human Development, Chromosomes, and Sexual Differentiation
07:14 Intersex Conditions and the Limits of Binary Sex Definitions
08:32 Gender Identity vs Biological Sex Explained
09:35 Why Everyone Has a Gender Identity
10:52 Trump, Transgender Rights, and “Protecting Women” Claims
12:03 Bathroom Safety, Transgender People, and Assault Statistics
12:44 Imagining Life as a Transgender Person
14:00 Call to Oppose Trump’s Transgender Executive Order
15:06 Concerns About Future LGBT Rights and Gay Marriage
16:03 LGBT Stories, Support Groups, and Community Resources
17:05 Upcoming Episodes: Transgender Military Ban & Education Policies
17:35 Closing Remarks and Outro

Transcript:

https://spectrumpodcast.org/2025/01/30/episode-3-trumps-first-transgender-ban-the-federal-ban/