Host Tressa Bell introduces The Fan in the Window: Interrupting What We Inherit and explores how children in chaotic, emotionally unpredictable homes adapt by organizing themselves into survival roles—responsible one, peacekeeper, protector, invisible one, performer, or mascot—often without realizing it.

She connects this to family systems theory (Murray Bowen) and parentification, describing instrumental and emotional forms and noting research links between emotional parentification and adult anxiety, depression, emotional regulation difficulties, and boundary struggles.

Bell shares a teenage memory of protecting a younger sister and explains, using Lindsey Gibson’s concept of the “Internalizer,” how these roles persist into adulthoodand across relationships and work because the nervous system keeps running “old programs.”

She observes different roles emerging in her own children, reflects on Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey’s “what happened to you” lens, and invites listeners to identify their role, practice awareness, and use grounding to begin interruption and repair.

Bell also mentions her book releasing April 21.

If you need support:
In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline—available 24/7, free, and confidential. Outside the U.S., visit findahelpline.com for international mental‑health hotlines and crisis services in your region.

Learn more at thefaninthewindow.com.

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This didn’t start with you…but you can interrupt it!

00:00 Unchosen Responsibility

00:58 Show Intro and Episode Theme

02:05 Safety Disclaimer

03:03 Family Roles Explained

04:34 Parentification Defined

06:04 Common Survival Roles

07:58 A Protector Moment

09:55 Internalizer and Letting Go

11:34 Roles Follow You

14:03 Seeing Roles in My Kids

17:29 What Happened to You Lens

18:50 Awareness and Reflection

20:44 Grounding Exercise

22:42 Next Episode and Closing