The boys try vigorously to give a damn about the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, and speculate the future of a monarchy which really has no power. Then, Harriet Tubman gets a new legacy with a new moniker, conjured up by the brilliant, Red Scare. Serena Williams is another queen which, this week, was laid to rest. Eli Manning has more super bowl rings than the guys' beloved Bears. Then, Teddy and Scotch solve all of California's important issues.

Listen up, you tubby tubs of tub-scum!

Teddy stumbles out of the gate with some annoying technical issues, but runs with it anyway. The boys lay the groundwork for what to never expect from the Scare, in the future. They discuss what it might take to be sad enough to sit in the audience of a prime time game show. Then, Scotch tickles Teddy's tits by reviewing some of the most ridiculous names from young, up and coming rappers.

Listen up, syzurp swallowers!

The boys give lukewarm explanations as to why they've been recently absent.  Current affairs aren't cutting it anymore, so Teddy and Scotch devise a new plan for America, that will offset the taxes they're about regurgitate over Biden's college debt forgiveness program. It also might just be the best damn game show anyone's ever thought of.

Listen up, content vampires!