Women with super traits know how to get shit done. They are hardworking, loyal, independent, and high-achieving.

Some want better sex and a deeper connection and cannot figure out why it feels so hard. Others say they don't care about sex anymore, but what they're really saying is I don't feel met. I don't feel safe enough to erotically open.

Desire didn't disappear. Effort replaced it. Survival crowds out sensation. Performance crowds out receptivity.

Women with super traits are good at everything else. Careers. Parenting. Emotional intelligence. What they are not great at is sex, intimacy, and vulnerability. Being good at giving, pleasing, and performing is one-sided. If the effort worked, they would already feel deeply connected.

Sex is not a drive. It's a reward system. When pleasure centers are off and receiving muscles are off, even when someone is trying to give, the body cannot receive.

Presence is not a mindset. It is a nervous system state. When sex becomes something you manage, desire shuts down automatically.

If you feel called out in a good way, attend the live workshop on February 5th, where we cover the three most common ways women with super traits erode intimacy and the three shifts required to restore desire. JOIN THE MASTERCLASS HERE

For those ready for personalized clarity, you can also apply to work with me privately HERE. We map your super traits, erotic shutdown style, and relationship dynamics so you stop guessing and start changing the patterns that repeat in and out of the bedroom. APPLY HERE

If you do not know your super traits yet, take the Super Trait Quiz to understand exactly how this is showing up for you.

Why Smart & Successful Women Lose Themselves In Relationships (And why over-functioning and fixing desire never works), on February 5th at 12 PM Eastern and 9 AM Pacific. Register for the free masterclass.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

CHAPTERS

You do not lose desire. For women with super traits, desire does not disappear. It goes offline when you override yourself one too many times, and your body adapts because it knows it is not safe.

We are taught that desire fades slowly. That it is stress, hormones, perimenopause, being busy, or having too much on your plate. In my clinical and coaching work, I see the opposite. Desire shuts down at very specific moments, but you are trained not to see them.

If you are the fixer, the anchor, the emotional glue, the one people rely on when things fall apart, those are not flaws. Those are super traits. The same qualities that make you capable, reliable, and successful. In relationships, these traits often place you in inequitable dynamics where you are the over-functioner. Over time, your body learns that wanting more creates more work, not more connection.

This is not a libido problem. It is not a hormone problem. It is a self-override problem. Desire shuts down when connection requires self-erasure. The body downregulates to conserve energy and stay safe.

If you do not know your super traits yet, take the Super Trait Quiz to understand exactly how this is showing up for you.

This work is being taught live and for FREE in a MASTERCLASS, Why Smart & Successful Women Lose Themselves In Relationships (And why over-functioning and fixing desire never works), on February 5th at 12 PM Eastern and 9 AM Pacific. Register for the free masterclass.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

Over the Christmas break, I had several private clients reach out, and what I noticed was that the transformations had not been completed. The holidays brought up ruptures, disappointments, and old patterns at a time when most women were already running on fumes.

The holidays come with extra expectations and very little capacity. Many women even get sick once their bodies finally feel safe enough to stop. That is not a coincidence.

We hold an image of the holidays as cozy and connected. In reality, they often unearth everything we have been holding together all year.

I found myself repeating the same thing to my clients. Stop over-explaining. Stop people pleasing. Get grounded before you act.

If you are here, chances are you feel disconnected in your relationship. Some of you were disappointed by the holidays. Some of you went through separations. Some of you navigated the season alone. The common thread is being a woman with super traits who struggles to feel met, supported, and able to receive.

This is a familiar loop. Still explaining. Still repairing. Still choosing words carefully. Still believing that if you say it the right way, it will finally land.

That does not mean you are doing anything wrong. It means you have super traits.

Women with super traits were never taught discernment. We were taught to fix, soften, reassure, and carry emotional labor. Not every accusation deserves a response. Not every misunderstanding needs a conversation. When we lose connection to ourselves, we start efforting in ways that do not work.

Over time, desire shuts down. Health is affected. Intimacy becomes hollow. The traits that brought success elsewhere begin working against us in relationships.

There is a LIVE Masterclass on February 5 that goes deeper into why women with super traits overfunction in relationships and what actually restores clarity, desire, and connection. Sign up for FREE HERE, and let's make this the year we stop overgiving and start recieving.

PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE]

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Take the free Super Trait Quiz to understand why these patterns show up so strongly during the holidays

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]