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For nearly two decades, Lyndsey Hackford lived in a marriage marked by manipulation, control, and escalating abuse. She shares terrifying moments from that marriage, including being strangled, threatened with a gun, and fearing for her children's safety.

In this deeply personal conversation, Lyndsey joins Julie and Carley to talk about the warning signs she didn't recognize, the role faith and religious expectations played in her decisions, and the painful realities of navigating the family court system after abuse.

Today, Lyndsey has found her voice, remarried, built a loving family, and uses her experience to advocate for survivors and educate others about domestic violence.

This episode is a powerful reminder that surviving is only part of the story. There can be love, purpose, and a beautiful life on the other side.

Content warning: This episode includes discussions of domestic violence, strangulation, threats involving firearms, and sexual coercion.

instagram: @lyndseyh6723

podcast: @living.inthe.aftermath

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Julie and Carley talk about what it means to keep going when life still hurts. Between raising eight children, recovering from surgery, and building a business, Julie is trying to move forward while grieving the life she expected.

Together, they reflect on waiting for answers, finding purpose in difficult days, and how their faith in Jesus Christ helps them continue. An honest conversation about still hurting, still trying, and trusting there is more ahead, even when you can’t see it yet.

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I thought the hardest part was behind me after emergency hernia surgery. Then a stubborn calf cramp and another trip to the ER led to something I wasn’t expecting: multiple pulmonary embolisms—blood clots in my lungs.

This week, Carley and I unpack the diagnosis, the push I needed to get checked, and the reality of recovering while raising eight kids. And yes, we get into the very unglamorous side of blood thinners. Apparently, nothing is off-limits around here.

But this conversation goes deeper than a medical update. We talk about the struggles people can’t see, why vulnerability builds real friendships, and learning to let people help. There’s grief, gratitude, faith, and plenty of laughter in the middle of the mess.

If you’ve been carrying something heavy and telling everyone you’re fine, this episode is for you. You don’t have to carry it alone.

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In this raw, real-life episode, Julie tells Carley how what she thought was a kidney stone turned into an emergency hernia repair. She shares the pain that sent her to the ER, the surprise diagnosis, surgery and recovery—and the moment her kids stepped in to get her help.

The conversation goes beyond the hospital: motherhood’s toll on the body, the guilt we can carry about our choices, the friends and community who show up, and what it means to finally slow down and let people care for you.

Thanks for listening to Gritty Mamas. If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share it with a friend.

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I just got home from Scotland and Ireland—and somehow, being surrounded by some of the most beautiful places in the world gave me a whole lot of time to think.

Maybe too much time.

Watching my siblings walk hand-in-hand with their spouses, making memories together, brought me right back to a trip four years ago when my marriage had just fallen apart. I remembered how desperately I prayed for things to change, how hard I tried to save my family, and how convinced I was that if I just had enough faith, everything would somehow work out.

This week, Carley and I talk about what happens when life doesn't turn out the way you prayed it would.

We talk about faith and agency, divorce, resentment, crushing debt, single motherhood, the mental load of raising eight kids, and that awful feeling that everyone else is moving forward while you're still trying to dig yourself out.

We also talk about something I desperately needed to hear: maybe I'm not as far behind as I think I am.

Sometimes a vacation doesn't fix anything. You come home and the laundry, bills, responsibilities, grief and uncertainty are still waiting for you. But so is everything you've already survived—and everything you've already built.

If you've ever looked at your life and thought, “I should be further along by now,” this episode is for you.

❤️ Julie & Carley
Gritty Mamas

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After more than a year of harassment, stalking, threats, racial slurs, police calls, arrests and violations of a civil stalking injunction, we finally got news I wasn't expecting: criminal charges have been filed.

In this episode of Gritty Mamas, Carley and I talk about the moment I learned my neighbor was facing 19 stalking counts with hate-crime enhancements and a no-bail warrant—and then learned that he had apparently left before police could arrest him.

But this conversation becomes about something much bigger: what it feels like when you don't feel safe in your own home, why victims can become frustrated with systems that are supposed to protect them, and the complicated line between believing victims and preserving innocent-until-proven-guilty. We also talk about motherhood, family court, resentment, and trying not to let everything you've been through change the way you see the world.

This one is messy, personal, and very real.

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Eleven people, Disneyland, an eight-day cruise, endless sibling fighting—and one child lost within the first ten minutes. 😅

In this episode, I’m home just long enough to tell Carly all about our once-in-a-lifetime family trip before leaving again for Scotland and Ireland. We talk about the joy of watching my kids experience Disney, Mexico, snorkeling, karaoke and cruise life for the first time—and the exhausting reality of parenting eight children in a different place.

But this conversation becomes about much more than a vacation. We talk about carrying the mental load alone, the frustration of being misunderstood, difficult co-parenting dynamics, and why I refuse to stay silent about the realities so many women are living through.

I’m still in the mud too. I’m still figuring it out. But if sharing the hard parts helps another woman feel less alone, then I’m going to keep talking about them—right alongside the miracles, the unexpected helpers and the compensatory blessings.

If you’ve ever felt like everything rests on your shoulders, this episode is for you.

Subscribe to Gritty Mamas and tell us in the comments: Have you ever needed a vacation after your “vacation”?

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After years of fighting, I finally got so much of what I had been fighting for. The agreement is signed. The chapter should feel like it's closing.

So why don't I feel free?

In this episode, Carley and I talk about what happens when you've spent so long in survival mode that you don't quite know who you are without the fight. We talk about motherhood, identity, sacrifice, the value of women, rebuilding after years of stress, and why getting to the other side doesn't automatically mean your nervous system knows you're safe there yet.

We also get into the complicated conversation around women finding their strength without diminishing men, raising sons and daughters who understand their worth, and remembering that motherhood isn't a consolation prize or something that keeps us from doing something meaningful with our lives. It is meaningful.

If you've ever thought, “I made it through… so why don't I feel better?” this one is for you.

Gritty Mamas — because sometimes the hardest part isn't surviving. It's figuring out who you are afterward.

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