Sam Kelly didn't set out to build a parenting framework. She was standing at the kitchen counter one Friday night, watching her kids clear out without a second thought, and something in her broke. She'd spent a year trying to teach her husband the mental load by talking him through it. That night, she realized talking wasn't the lesson. The chore chart was.

Out of that moment came Notice and Do: a framework for raising kids who see what needs doing and do it, without being told. Sam built it for her three kids, all with ADHD, and in her new book she stress-tests it against the age where most parenting advice quietly gives up: the teen years.

In this conversation, Sam and Dr. Sheryl get specific. What a ten or fifteen minute walkthrough of a shared bathroom actually sounds like with a teenager. Why screens and phone access work better as a built-in expectation than a bribe. When it's fair to pay a kid for a task, and when paying them undermines the entire point. What the "Big Three" looks like in Sam's own house, with kids aged fourteen, twelve, and nine, and how the bar moves as a kid gets older. And why Sam teaches her kids the actual vocabulary of the mental load, by name, instead of hoping they'll absorb it by osmosis.

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Good Inside’s Dr. Becky and Dr. Sheryl have a new show on YouTube - Teens & Screens, a bi-weekly video series helping parents navigate today's biggest technology questions. Watch on youtube.com/@goodinside.

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Clay Vilhauer wrote his first book at six. It won three awards. At nine, he and his mom, author and strategist Amber Vilhauer, wrote a second one: What Nature Teaches Us, a book that looks at a mountain like a feelings chart.

Dr. Sheryl talks with Amber and Clay about how the book got written: on hiking trails outside their home in northern Colorado, with Amber asking Clay open questions and refusing to edit his answers into something more adult. One line came from a drawing Clay made in January: a mountain with one side in shadow and one in light, still the same mountain. Clay explains why a soccer ball, not a conversation, is what actually helps him when he's mad. Amber explains why getting outside the city limits is what lets her ask better questions in the first place.

They also get into the book's closing idea, "be the light," which started as Clay's own dedication at age six and turned into a phrase he now wants other kids to carry too.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Yoto: Get 15% off your order with the code DRSHERYL15 at YotoPlay.com. New customers only, ends October 31, offer valid on select products only. Terms apply.

Good Inside’s Dr. Becky and Dr. Sheryl have a new show on YouTube - Teens & Screens, a bi-weekly video series helping parents navigate today's biggest technology questions. Watch the first episode on youtube.com/@goodinside.

Follow Dr. Sheryl on Instagram

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Many of us grew up hearing, “Don’t cry, you’re fine” or “Stop overreacting!” Now, we want to raise our kids differently… but how? In this audience favorite from the Good Inside podcast, Dr. Becky sits down with Dr. Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, to talk about his powerful personal story and research. They discuss understanding emotions as data, validating kids’ feelings without overindulging them, and building emotional literacy for the whole family - especially relevant for teens back in the swing of school!

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Frida: Shop Frida for Kids at Walmart and Amazon today
• Yoto: Get 15% off your order with the code DRSHERYL15 at YotoPlay.com. New customers only, ends October 31, offer valid on select products only. Terms apply.

Good Inside’s Dr. Becky and Dr. Sheryl have a new show on YouTube - Teens & Screens, a bi-weekly video series helping parents navigate today's biggest technology questions. Watch the first episode on youtube.com/@goodinside.

Follow Dr. Sheryl on Instagram

Learn more about Good Inside

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.