How do you find belonging when you’ve never felt fully Filipino or American?

This letter is for the Filipino American woman who has spent years being asked that second question: “But where are you really from?” She learned to answer it smoothly and playfully, without letting anyone notice that being asked the question felt like a wound that kept reopening.

In this letter, Hana grows up caught between two worlds. Her American friends see her as foreign. Her Filipino family wishes she could speak their dialect and understand the cultural nuances. But on a college stage, performing mid-song, she discovers how the space created by the pause within a song can change everything.

If you’ve ever felt like you were too much of one thing and not enough of another — this letter was written for you.

Letter 186 is part of The Filipino American Woman Project’s letters series, inspired by real conversations. This is our AAPI Heritage Month edition.

Welcome to TFAW Letters — the Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month (AAPI) Heritage Month edition — by the Filipino American Woman Project!

I’m your host, Jen Amos, here to read aloud letters inspired by real conversations with you!

It all begins with one line:

If I could say one thing...

Because sometimes one thing is all we need to take up a little more space. 💛

First letter releases next Friday! Stay tuned! 🎧

If you could reflect on one thing, it’s this:

How do you process loss and grief?

This letter is for anyone who’s lost their greatest ally and has been grieving ever since.

The writer speaks to Monica Macansantos, author of Returning to My Father’s Kitchen: Essays. She expresses how her former teacher’s book gave her permission to feel what her family wouldn’t talk about: the pain of losing a loved one who was more than a parent.

Her father was her greatest ally, her champion, and the inspiration behind her curiosity and creativity. The writer paints a portrait of healing that doesn’t erase the pain but, instead, carries it with her.

If you’ve ever felt pressure to suppress your grief, yet longed to honor a loved one in a way that feels true to you, then this one’s for you.

This concludes TFAW Project’s Letters — Holiday Edition! 🎁

Thank you for listening, and we’ll see you again for Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month in May 2026! 👋🏽🎉

What can I do in the meantime?

Subscribe for off-season content!

🗓 Find out when our next Family Potluck event will be! (Tentative date: March 27, 2026)

✍🏽 When you subscribe, you can also submit a letter or respond to a published one, anonymously!

If you could reflect on one thing, it’s this:

Which memories define you, or don’t define you anymore?

This letter is for anyone who simply wants to feel safe, secure, and stable in her friendships.

Through a flashback sparked by a new friend around a bonfire, the writer recalls a time when she was bullied, labeled “lesser than,” and ambushed by a group of girls who she thought were her people.

If you ever struggled to defend yourself for something you didn’t do, this one’s for you.

Join us for our FINAL Family Potluck: Vision Board Workshop this Monday, December 22nd!

If you could reflect on one thing, it’s this:

How do you communicate with your family versus in the workplace?

This letter is for anyone who grew up in a home where tsismis (a.k.a. gossip) was connection, love, and entertainment, only to discover how it lands differently in the workplace.

The writer examines the differences between indirect communication at home and direct communication at work, and how a well-meaning effort to bond with colleagues nearly cost her her job.

If you ever felt torn between how you communicate at home versus at work, this one’s for you.

If you could reflect on one thing, it’s this:

Are you going home for the holidays—or are you already home?

This letter is for anyone tired of being asked if they’re going home to their blood family and relatives for the holidays.

Through faith, conviction, and clarity, the writer shares why she’s choosing not to return to her family this year. She reflects on how familial and cultural expectations justified years of abuse, how she made an idol out of family, and what ‘going home’ means to her today.

If you’ve ever said, “But they’re family…” just to survive the holidays—this letter is for you.

Welcome to TFAW Letters — The Holiday Edition by the Filipino American Woman Project 🎁

I’m your host, Jen Amos.

Just like the FAHM edition, I will read fictionalized letters — my creative interpretation of real conversations with you!

These letters have been woven with heart, reflection, and truth to honor your stories while protecting your privacy.

It all begins with one line, “If I could say one thing.”

RSVP for the Upcoming Family Potluck — NOV 21st! Click HERE.

If you could reflect on one thing, it’s this:

What is one small, beautiful thing you can notice and be grateful for in this very moment?

In recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, this message is for anyone facing loss, uncertainty, or chronic illness—and for those who have supported a loved one through it.

Through tender recognition and reflective gratitude, the writer explores what it means to redefine joy, choose life, and live one day at a time.

Whether confronting the limitations of the body, the dissatisfaction of fame, or the weight of living in the diaspora and homesickness, this letter honors the quiet resilience it takes to keep going.

If you’ve ever delayed a goodbye, wished you had more time, or found strength in small moments, this one’s for you.

This concludes Filipino American History Month 💙❤️💛

Thanks for listening! We hope to read your letter in the upcoming season.

Stay tuned for TFAW Letters: Holiday Edition! 🎊

Got any plans for Friday, November 21st?

Whether you’re a new or long-time listener of TFAW Project, you are invited to our Family Potluck — a FREE networking event thanks to our TFAW PenPals & First Readers.

What to Expect

Think of a professional networking event, but with casual, easy-going Filipino family potluck vibes.

Our tentative agenda:

* Icebreaker: What memory comes to mind when you hear “family potluck?”

* Introductions:

* How long have you been listening to the show?

* Would you like to share anything? (i.e., Promote your business, share the latest book you’ve read, updates on your vision board, a mental health check-in, or just hang out!)

* Socializing: Candid conversations for the remainder of the time.

Open to the Community!

Please select ALL times on Friday, November 21st that work best for you, and we’ll go with the majority vote! Please ONLY vote if you plan to attend, so that I can include you in the calendar invite. 💛

💛 Jen

P.S. First-time attendees of TFAW Project events will receive a special gift. 🎁

Questions? Contact Jen: jen@tfawproject.com