A high-demand system is any structure that requires a significant amount of your time, energy, and identity in exchange for belonging. We often think about high-demand religions, workplaces, families, or cultures, but there is one system that is hard to recognize because it’s so ingrained in society that it just feels like the way things are supposed to be: the good girl rules. The unspoken expectations women absorb throughout their lives function like any other high-demand system. They reward compliance, create fear around stepping outside the rules, and keep us so focused on being good enough that we never get the chance to fully discover who we are. But understanding the systems we live in is the first step toward finding our way back to ourselves. Here’s what I cover:

• The characteristics that most high-demand systems have in common
• How high-demand systems reward compliance and discourage deviation from the rules
• Examples of high-demand systems and the ways they shape identity and belonging
• Three of the biggest things women lose when living by the good girl rules
• Questions to help you examine the systems you live in and what they may cost you

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Most women learn to experience their bodies through other people’s eyes before they ever learn how to truly live inside them. I’ve had a few conversations recently that brought up things I wish I had known about bodies when I was younger, and things I wish I had talked about with my own daughter. In this episode, I’m unpacking everything from the unspoken rules women absorb from a young age to the patriarchal systems that keep those rules in place. There is such a rich conversation here for mothers to have with their daughters, but also for us to have with the younger versions of ourselves who grew up inside these same systems of sexual objectification, shame, and discomfort in our bodies. Here’s what I cover:

• 5 examples of good girl rules that shape the way women think about and experience their bodies
• The book More Than a Body and the “instrument versus ornament” reframe that changed how I think about self-objectification
• How girls develop shame around their bodies when they don’t have anyone to talk to about what they are experiencing
• The hidden trade women are offered between male attention and connection to themselves
• What it can sound like to have important conversations with girls about their bodies

Find Sara here:

sarafisk.coach

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

instagram.com/sarafiskcoach

facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching

tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

There is a version of people-pleasing that hides behind competence, ambition, professionalism, and being the person everyone can count on. In this episode, I’m unpacking the patterns that show up in high achievers and what happens when competence becomes part of your identity. If the traits that brought you success are slowly starting to feel exhausting, it doesn’t mean you need to stop striving completely. It means there is a different way to experience achievement, one where you can be highly capable while also being supported, loved, helped, and truly known in reciprocal relationships. Here’s what I cover:

• Why people pleasing in high achievers is often brushed off as “just being professional”
• The childhood experiences that teach women that being useful is what makes them lovable
• How competence can become a cage that leaves high-achieving women feeling lonely and resentful
• The invisible contract women believe in when they keep overfunctioning and overdelivering
• The sneaky ways people pleasing shows up through perfectionism and emotional responsibility
• How to start supporting the younger part of you that learned that needing things was unsafe

Find Sara here:

sarafisk.coach

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

instagram.com/sarafiskcoach

facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching

tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333