What happens when erotic obsession stops being fantasy — and starts rewriting your reality?

Grab your FREE copy of The Venus Fly Trap here.

In this episode of I’m joined by author Stephen Paul Edwards to explore the psychological depths of his book The Venus Fly Trap — a story described as equal parts Fifty Shades, Gone Girl, and a therapy session with the devil.

In this episode, we explore:

• The psychology of erotic obsession.
• Fantasy vs manipulation in relationships.
• What destabilising attraction reveals about ourselves.
• Shame, secrecy, and the cost of silence.
• Why writing the truth can change the body — not just the mind.
• A live reading from the book.

Research article: Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease.

Connect with Stephen:

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• LinkedIn
• TikTok
• Website

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Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

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What if male submission wasn’t about giving up power — but about choosing where it belongs?

In this episode we explore the erotic realm of Taylor Ellwood, a submissive, men’s coach, and writer living in a 24/7 female-led dynamic, to explore masculinity, devotion, and sovereign submission through a psychological lens.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why submission must be chosen, not defaulted into.
• The difference between “nice guy” behaviour and genuine devotion.
• Submission as discipline, not self-erasure.
• Masculinity beyond performance and dominance.
• How erotic polarity and meaning shape long-term D/s relationships.

Research article: Perks, problems, and the people who play: A qualitative exploration of dominant and submissive BDSM roles

Don't forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.

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Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

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What if pleasure wasn’t the opposite of responsibility — but one of its foundations?

In this episode of I’m joined by Tanya Griffin — entrepreneur, sexual wellness and harm-reduction educator, and flow-state practitioner — to explore the psychology of pleasure, altered states, and embodied leadership.

In this episode, we explore:

• Pleasure as a measure of freedom, not indulgence.
• Flow states in sex, embodiment, and longevity.
• Intention vs. compulsion in erotic and altered states.
• Conscious use of cannabis and psychoactives in sexuality.
• Shame reduction as harm reduction — in sex and substances.

Research article: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.

Don't forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

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What if brattiness wasn’t resistance — but discernment?

In this episode of The Erotic Realm, I’m joined by AngelSnowflake, a collared submissive and self-described brat, to explore the psychology of chosen submission, erotic paradox, and identity that refuses simplification.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why submission must be earned to be real.
• Brattiness as emotional and relational literacy.
• Fluid desire and refusing fixed erotic labels.
• Collars as lived psychological commitments.
• Parallels between kink, roleplay, and character formation.

Don't forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Erotic Mind & Why These Moments Matter

In this fifth episode of an end-of-year series, we explore more deeply the concept of peak erotic experiences—those rare, unforgettable moments of desire that linger long after they end and quietly reshape how we understand ourselves.

Drawing on psychologist Jack Morin’s seminal work The Erotic Mind, this episode offers a psychological framework for understanding why certain erotic experiences feel transformative rather than merely pleasurable. Rather than focusing on acts, identities, or techniques, this series explores the inner architecture of desire: tension, risk, power, permission, and altered states of consciousness.

The excerpts you’ll hear across this series are not full stories or performances, but distilled moments—glimpses into how the erotic mind works at its most alive.

In this episode:

• What defines a peak erotic experience.
• Why orgasm or extremity alone don’t explain erotic intensity.
• Jack Morin’s psychological insights into desire, tension, and risk.
• How power, permission, and emotional exposure shape erotic experience.
• 5 peak erotic experiences share by The Erotic Realm podcast guests.

This episode is an invitation to listen slowly, psychologically, and with curiosity—not just to what is said, but to what shifts beneath it.

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• Peak Erotic Experience 1: #33 The Lesbian Cuckcake: Iris on Poly Desire, Triad Love & Healing
• Peak Erotic Experience 2: #34 Master Xtac: The 12 Rules of Power, Leather Tradition & BDSM as a Sexual Orientation
• Peak Erotic Experience 3: #35 The Bisexual Switch: Sage on Embracing Both Sides of Power & Desire
• Peak Erotic Experience 4: #36 The Disciplinarian Domme: MistressBaton on Spanking, Sadism & the Psychology of Pain
• Peak Erotic Experience 5: #37 From Pro-Domme to Submissive: Valkyrie on Regression, ABDL & Self-Domination

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can voice alone create intimacy, arousal, and emotional safety?

In this episode of The Erotic Realm, I’m joined by Call Me Phoenix — erotic audio creator, virtual companion, and switch — to explore the psychology of auditory erotics, voice-based desire, and intimacy without physical bodies.

We talk about phone sex, asexual audios, nervous-system regulation, and why sound can feel safer and sometimes more intimate than touch or sight. Drawing on psychological research into ASMR, this conversation reveals how voice can calm the body while simultaneously creating erotic arousal.

In this episode, we explore:

• How voice creates intimacy differently from touch or visuals.
• Erotic audio as self-soothing and nervous-system regulation.
• Why some people feel more “seen” through listening than looking.
• Auditory fetishism, auralism, and voice-based desire.
• Desire, connection, and presence without physical contact.

Research article: The effects of autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) on mood, attention, heart rate, skin conductance and EEG in healthy young adults.

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The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when we stop leaving desire to chance — and start setting intentions for it instead?

The powerful New Year ritual continues with this fourth and final instalment. Three real kinksters, (including the first couple!) step into the studio to openly share their erotic and kink intentions for the year ahead — what they want to explore, deepen, confront, or finally give themselves permission to desire.

And this is only the beginning.

Each of these guests will return at the end of the year so we can reflect on what actually shifted, what surprised them, and what happens when desire is treated as something we can consciously engage with, rather than wait on.

Because we set goals for our careers, relationships, bodies, and finances.

But when it comes to erotic desire, most of us were never taught how to set direction — only how to judge it, suppress it, or worry when it changes.

This episode explores why intentionality matters in erotic psychology, and how attention — not pressure — shapes desire over time.

In this episode:

• Three kinksters (including the first couple!) share their real erotic goals for the year ahead.
• Why desire responds to attention, not force.
• Erotic intention-setting as psychological and relational self-leadership.

Plus: I introduce The Desire Diary — a psychological tool designed to help you track, understand, and work with your desire over time. Available now via this link or simply grab the Softcover here or Hardcover Here.

Set intentions for your own desire and follow this year-long erotic experiment alongside us!

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if sound, pain, and pleasure were forms of communication — not spectacle?

In this episode I’m joined by LadyRed, host of Interview My Kink. A Leatherwoman, impact switch, and community builder, we explore the psychology of power, sound, and service within kink and leather culture.

We talk about learning pain tolerance, the role of sound in impact play, and how dungeon and leather spaces function as environments for trust, feedback, and erotic self-knowledge. Drawing on sociological research, this conversation reframes BDSM not as pathology, but as a process of embodied learning, identity formation, and community stewardship.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why sound matters in impact play — psychologically and relationally
• How pain teaches body awareness and emotional limits
• Leather as culture, not aesthetic
• Pleasure as a resource that must be stewarded
• Service as an erotic and ethical practice

Research article: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) Identity Development

dynamics through sexual practice?

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The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.