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It doesn’t matter who you are, there are 3 simple words we all struggle to say out loud- Even though we know that NOT saying them could costs us our relationship.

I am sorry

I apologize

I was wrong

Tiny little sentences, but massive impact, and yet, somehow they get stuck in our throats like a slab of concrete.

We would rather stay silent than say them- even when that silence slowly damages the relationships we care about.

Before I talk about those three words- I NEED to talk about The EGO first. The EGO is the reason those words get stuck in our throat.

It all starts with EGO.

We can’t say the three words , NOT because we don’t love our partner, and NOT because we don’t care, BUT because the EGO’s job is protection, and to the EGO saying any of the “three words” feels like losing.

Ego is one of those words that get thrown around a lot, usually in a negative way, and most of us don’t actually know what we mean by it when we say it, so we start thinking EGO is a bad thing were supposed to get rid of , but the truth is you can’t get rid of your EGO. AND you wouldn’t want to even if you could.

Ego is not arrogance & it’s not selfishness. At its core EGO is just YOUR sense of “me”; it your inner identity.

It’s the voice that says :

this is who I am

this is what I believe

this is how I want to be seen

this is how I protect myself

The EGO developed thousands of years ago to protect us. It helps us function, make decisions, & helps us survive. Protection at its core is NOT bad, its necessary

The Good Bad and Ugly of the EGO

THE GOOD- EGO gives us identity, boundaries and self-respect- it allows us to say “that’s not okay’ when something truly isn’t. the EGO helps us know who we are.

So the goal is not to eliminate the EGO, it’s to manage it.

Learning to manage the EGO might be one of the most underrated life skills ever. Nobody teaches it, yet it quietly shapes every marriage, friendship and family dynamic we have.

The good of learning to manage your ego is FREEDOM- Freedom from NEEDING to win.

THE BAD of the EGO

EGO doesn’t measure connection – it measures winning.

It keeps score

It wants to be right

It wants to avoid embarrassment

And it hates vulnerability

The Ugly

When unmanaged, the EGO prioritizes pride over intimacy. Pride in this context, is the need to protect your image at all costs and avoid feeling wrong- it chooses self preservation over connection.

When conflict remains unresolved there, your body feels it everywhere- your home stops feeling safe- and we humans are wired to NEED SAFE connection- it affects our mental health, our immunity and even our longevity.

But what separates strong relationships from broken ones isn’t perfection- its repair.

Its having the courage to say these hard words out loud:

I’m sorry

I apologize

I was wrong

Three small statements - with enormous power. THE EGO will tell you that saying them makes you small and weak- but the truth is- they will make your relationship stronger.

The strongest relationships aren’t the ones without mistakes- the strongest relationships are the ones that recognize their mistakes.. and use their words

Strength in a relationship isn’t about “winning”- it’s about being brave enough to let go of the need to win.

Enjoy!

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask- A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast

949)236-1529

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When was the last time you sat down in your favorite spot with an actual book? Remember when this was normal? I bet Reading feels like a luxury to a lot of you, you feel guilty when you sit down to read, and you probably feel like you should be doing something productive, so you don’t feel good picking up that book- right?

I am here to remind you that reading a book isn’t Unproductive, it isn’t a luxury or a hobby& It shouldn’t be something we save for vacation.

Reading is one of the most powerful things you can do for your mind, mood, and your long term brain health.

There was a time when reading was NOT optional. It was how we learned. How we entertained ourselves, and how we relaxed during the day- and wound down at night.

This was before TV’s were in the room, phones were in every pocket, and long before scrolling. You read.

Books

Letters

Newspapers

Magazines- cover to cover

The cool part about reading a book is what it actually does for your brain:

Reading isn’t passive- it’s extremely active so When you read your brain lights up everywhere:

Your language centers light up

Your Memory centers light up

your Visual imagination lights up

And your emotion processing center lights up

Your brain doesn’t just understand the words- it recreates the experience- you smell it- you create a visual- you see it-- your brain builds an entire world from scratch when you read the words.

Tv doesn’t make you do that- only reading books.

Reading is like strength training for your brain:

Reading strengthens your-

Memory

Vocabulary

Comprehension

Focus

Empathy

Reading also strengthens your Creativity

-And it builds something called “cognitive reserve”- which is your brains back up system. The stronger your cognitive reserve, the more protected you are as you age.

Studies have shown that lifelong readers have a lower risk of cognitive decline and dementia.

Reading is not just for homework, it isn’t old fashioned, and it’s NOT just for entertainment. Reading is one of the simplest, cheapest and most accessible forms of brain care that we have.

Reading makes your mind sharper, and it keeps your imagination alive, it asks your brain to build the story not just watch it

And it Expands you; reading books expands you because every book you read adds something new to who you are, new ideas, new words and new perspectives.

Bring reading back into your daily life

You are probably thinking that "reading more" is something you should "Do”, but how do you fit that in? Let me help you with that. You know you can fit it in! First, take back 10 minutes of phone time before bed and use that time to read. This also kills 2 birds with one stone, you get your reading in- and in turn -it will make you sleep so much better.

You can…

· Keep a bag in your car and in your purse- any free minute you have- at a car wash- Dr. Appt- kids sports- the beach- or if you are waiting for your gas tank to fill up-on a road trip- a flight- so many options and lots of time- grab that book.

· Read with your kids- this is considered reading.

At the end of the day reading is one of the simplest ways to care for your mind.

Sometimes the best medicine really is that simple.

READ More Books!

Enjoy.

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask- A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast

(949)-236-1529

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In relationships we are taught to focus solely on love. But no one really talks about partnership.

I want to talk about Relationships as a Partnership.

This is for anyone building a life with another human being; whether that is:

Living together

Raising kids together

Sharing bills

or Sharing responsibilities , the moment your life becomes intertwined with someone else’s you are not just in love.

YOU are in a Partnership.

It took me YEARS to understand That love brings two people together. But a partnership is what actually makes life work.

For a long time I resisted that idea- I didn’t want my relationship to feel like a business or a system. I wanted it to feel romantic and natural and effortless- but real grown up life is not 24/7 romance and it's definitely not effortless.

Real life is logistics:

Schedules

Money

Kids

Sickness

Work & pressure- when two people are building all of that together, you are not JUST A COUPLE you are partners.

I have learned the importance of acknowledging the strengths and the differences of our partner- not as dividing lines, but as the very thing that makes the relationship work. Relationships aren’t meant to be a battle ground for who’s right , who’s stronger, or who is in charge.

They are meant to be a partnership.

Most conflict in relationships doesn’t come from huge betrayals or dramatic moments- conflict starts much smaller- with interpretation-meaning, It’s usually not what actually happened that hurts us- it’s the story we tell ourselves about what it means- we fill in the blanks , assume intentions, and create stories that are not often true.

I bring that up because in a relationship we don’t just misinterpret situations- we misinterpret each other’s differences.

We interpret our differences as:

_Lack of understanding

_Lack of effort

_And lack of care

These are not flaws- they are just “different strengths”. In any real partnership-you think you want two IDENTICAL people- but you don’t, you need balance.

The issue isn’t that you are different-it’s that you interpret differences as threats instead of assets- And once you and your partner start thinking like that, you start competing instead of collaborating.

EGO Maturity is when you feel secure enough in your own worth that you don’t need to compete with your partner anymore.

You have to trust that what you bring to the partnership matters-even if it looks different than what your partner brings. This is all maturity too.

The longer I have been in a relationship, the more I have realized something that I wish someone had told me when I was younger- and that is that love is amazing- love is great-love is what brings you together- BUT love alone doesn’t run a life:

Love doesn’t organize schedules-pay bills-raise kids- and love doesn’t step in when life gets hard- but a partnership does. A partnership is what keeps you together. And like any good partnership- relationships only work when each person understands what they bring to the table- When strengths are acknowledged instead of compared-When differences are respected instead of criticized -And when roles are discussed instead of assumed- and partnerships can only work when you grow up emotionally- get rid of the ego and have those hard conversations.

At the end of the day- the goal isn’t to win against your partner- it’s to build an amazing family business- so stop competing and start partnering.

Enjoy!

Joanne

The Aging Mask

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The hidden ways your feet affect your body, mind and daily life and why care matters.

Your feet are literally the first thing to touch the ground every morning, they carry our weight , support our balance, they carry our stress, our aging, our pace in life, and most importantly; your feet carry your direction in life.

I want to talk about feet as your Foundation.

If you think about it, everything in life has a foundation. everything “starts” from the ground up- starts with a foundation.

*A house has a foundation

*Your relationship has a foundation

*Even your health

Nothing stands without something solid underneath it.

If you recall, in Chakra language, the ROOT chakra is considered our bodies foundation- it lives at the base of our spine and is the center of the body.

The Root chakra is your INTERNAL foundation- The Feet are your EXTERNAL foundation.

The root chakra is about safety and stabilityInside your body- AND your feet are how we experience safety and stability outside the body.

Your feet are your foundation- if your body ignores your feet- you will feel it everywhere else.

Your feet:

*support your posture

*influence your knees, hips and our spine

* your feet affect our balance and confidence

And your feet determine how you walk through the world- literally and emotionally.

As we age our foot health becomes even more important. Falls don’t just happen because someone is clumsy- falls happen when our balance, our sensation, our strength and our ability to know where are feet are and how they are moving start to disappear. And all of this starts with the feet.

People talk about mattresses all the time- how you shouldn’t scrimp on a mattress because we spend a third of our lives sleeping, and a mattress is the foundation of a good sleep- true fact- don’t skimp on a mattress.

I bring this up to say that the same is true for shoes- except we are in shoes all DAY Long- shoes get day- mattress gets night.

Shoes shape how we walk

How we stand

How are weight gets distributed

And how our joints age

And yet, we chose our shoes for style, name, or price rather than function and support…lol – if the feet are our external foundation then shoes are the foundation of the foundation!

One bad pair of shoes worn every day can & will affect:

Your knees

Your hips

Lower back

Your balance and your confidence in moving.

So, with that being said we all so often hesitate to spend money on shoes, but we will spend freely on things that don’t actually support our health… been there, done that, thousands of times.

Good shoes are not a luxury- they are an investment in your future self.

We invest in what we value. If you value your health- your balance- and your ability to move thru life with confidence- then shoes are worth the investment.

Your feet have carried you through every age of your life- your feet are not just a body part- they are your connection to the ground you stand on- and the path ahead of you.

Daily foot care doesn’t have to be complicated-wash them-dry them well, and oil or lotion them- that’s it. You will not need to take anything oral if you lotion or oil them before bed- I promise.

So tonight, look at your feet- touch them -while rub them with oil.- and thank them for all they do for you.

That’s a wrap on your feet… now get after your day.

Enjoy!

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask- A lifestyle Medicine Podcast

(949)- 236-1529

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There once was a time when smell was not something that we hid, it was something we relied on. Babies knew their mothers by scent, partners were drawn to each other by smell, and the body used smell to signal your health status, hormone status and emotional status. Today, instead of listening to that signal we mask, we spray, roll, rub, layer and mask our natural scent every single day w/ Perfume, deodorant & lotion.

And while the concern today isn’t the scents themselves, it’s how much we use, where we apply it, and of course, the chronic exposure over time. When we stop listening and start masking we lose an important form of communication between our body and brain.

Smell is one of our most primitive senses.

And while the concern today isn’t the scents themselves, it’s how much we use, where we apply it, and of course, the chronic exposure over time. When we stop listening and start masking we lose an important form of communication between our body and brain.

Somewhere along the line smelling human became something that we needed to fix. But our personal smell is actually information. Before logic- before memory & before words, the body communicated through scent

Smell is one of our most primitive senses- its tied directly to our:

Memory

Emotion

Our Attraction

Safety

& our recognition

Before modern hygiene products , humans recognized each other by scent.

Body odor-BO- isn’t just sweat- sweat itself is mostly water and salts-its odorless. The smell we call body odor comes from bacteria that lives on our skin interacting with our sweat and breaking down certain compounds-by compounds I mean the natural chemicals in your sweat- like proteins& fatty acids that bacteria break down to create the odor-

Deodorant vs- antiperspirant :

We are applying chemicals daily to a highly absorbent area near lymphatic tissue- remember they are in your armpits (dry brushing)

Deodorants- aim to reduce odor- they do not block sweat Antiperspirants- BLOCK sweat glands, using aluminum salts-aluminum salts are the active ingredient in antiperspirants- they temporarily block our sweat glands-which stops sweat from reaching the surface of your skin.-this is why they keep you dry-even when you are hot or exercising. Think of it like tiny plug in your sweat duct-

Food for thought: Breast cancer continues to rise in both men and women. Blocking/plugging sweat glands with antiperspirants on a daily basis could interfere with your body’s natural detox pathways in the breast tissue- it blocks sweat glands- so the toxins that are meant to come out- get backed up into our tissue- and overtime could lead to long term effects.

I need to say that there is no scientific proof that antiperspirants cause breast cancer- but it’s something to think about when deciding how and when to use it. I hope you think twice

Lotions and skin absorption:

Lotion is another big player in this conversation- and it’s not talked about a lot. Many-if not all lotions contain synthetic fragrance, preservatives and stabilizers designed to make them smell good- and to last on a shelf. By applying them everyday like we have been taught- not only are we moisturizing our skin-we are also covering up our natural scent.

With that being said- remember that your skin absorbs everything you put on it- our skin is NOT a barrier-it’s an organ- &what you put on it is absorbed into your body and becomes part of your overall chemical load over time.

Enjoy!

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask- A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast

949)236-15

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I realized something the other day- I am coming up on one full year of this podcast- I have talked about habits, health, nutrition, stress, digestion, gratitude, listening to your body, and the chakra system- and 48 other topics, yet I have never talked about the topic that I not only reference in the title of this podcast- but reference a lot throughout the episodes themselves- and that is “Lifestyle Medicine” –Lifestyle medicine is the foundation of this podcast- AND I have never stopped or thought about defining it for you.

So that is what I am going to do today.

I’m not going to talk about it in a scientific way and definitely not a trendy way- When I say LSM – what I really mean is going back to the basics. The kind of Basic people lived by long before we had supplements, diets, drugs and protocols- the basics- when our ancestors choices, and daily life itself supported their health.

Lifestyle medicine is NOT a pill, not a prescription, it’s not a program,it’s not complicated , extreme, or expensive and it’s not just a series of routines you need to perfect.

Lifestyle medicine is the understanding that how YOU live- shapes how you feel, and ultimately , how healthy you are.

It IS a balanced lifestyle- It is the idea that YOUR Daily choices- small, repeated-sometimes boring- or time consuming- shape your health overtime. It’s Not “someday” that it shapes it- it shapes your health every day!

Having a balanced lifestyle regiment is a whole heck of a lot harder to follow than just getting a prescription and taking a pill- AND it requires personal responsibility to maintain- BUT it is far more effective!

Lifestyle medicine IS preventive, NOT reactive. It’s not about waiting for something to break and then fixing it. It’s about supporting your body before dysfunction becomes disease.

I want the Aging Mask Podcast to feel modern, accessible and lived- not so academic and technical.

The six pillars of health- sleep, movement, nutrition, meditation, emotions and self care- are the foundation of LSM. Without them, there is nothing solid for us to build on.

Everything I talk about on this podcast, every topic and every conversation-rests on these pillars

I want to help you build a strong and steady foundation so whatever you add on top of it actually lasts!

What I really want to do as this podcast moves into its second year- is to bring back lifestyle medicine- the daily basics.

Everything that I have talked about thus far falls under this umbrella. I truly believe that if you are a breathing, upright human, EVERY Choice you make matters.

Everything you DO, everything you SAY, and even everything you consume- physically ,emotionally & mentally is lifestyle medicine. It all counts. From how you eat, to how you sleep, to how you speak to people- all the way down to something as simple as what shoes you choose to wear on your feet- it’s all lifestyle medicine.

So as much as I want to bring us back to the basics, I also want you to know this- I am here to teach you what I have learned, and I’m here to keep learning right along side you.

My going into 2026 mantra is:

If I want to learn something -I need to read about it.

If I want to understand something -I need to write about it

And If I want to master something- I need to teach it.

That’s what this podcast- THE AGING MASK- is for me- a place to study, understand, and to share, so we can all live a little better, a little more aware, and a little more connected.

This is lifestyle medicine- learning, living and growing together. We are not here to be perfect, we are here to be aware

Enjoy!

Joanne

T

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R. E.S.P.E.C.T- today’s topic is on Respect.

This word carry’s a lot of weight - even more than love. We don’t use it casually- and we don’t lose it accidently.

When someone says they have lost respect for another person, something meaningful has already shifted- something foundational.

Respect is foundational to all relationships-personal and professional- and the reason is simple:

Every relationship requires trust, safety, and recognition, and respect is what creates all three of these.

RESPECT is Recognition -it is the ability to see another person as whole- separate from you- not owned by you-not there to manage your emotions- not there to serve your needs- or validate your identity.

Respect matters to us humans so deeply because it is tied to our sense of worth, safety, and social belonging.

1.it affirms our value

2- it creates emotional safety

3- respect is important to all of us because is supports connection and cooperation- We humans are social animals. We are wired for connection

4-And Respect Nutures SELF RESPECT-respect from others teaches us how to value ourselves. When others treat us with dignity we internalize it- we stand taller, set those boundaries, and demand better treatment.

What does respect actually looks like & what does it feel like in a marriage- And what does respect look like from a child.

Let me start with kids.

Kids respect adults who:

1- Set and enforce clear boundaries

2- Model honesty and integrity

3- listen actively

4-Show calm authority

Real respect from kids grows and is earned when adults model, fairness, consistency, and emotional accountability-which means showing them how to handle BIG feelings without blaming or hurting others.

what does RESPECT actually look like- and what does it if feel like- in a Marriage

I say both Look and feel because they serve different purposes:

*Look like- is an Observable behavior (what others can see

* Feel like- this is an internal experience- emotional safety- you feel tension and calm-

Respect that only looks right can still be wrong. Respect that feels right, but isn’t supported by behavior doesn’t last.

Respect in a Marriage LOOKS like:

· Listening without interrupting or correcting

· Speaking about your spouse with dignity, even when they are not present

· Keeping your private struggles private

· Honoring boundaries without punishment- meaning- respecting your partners limits- WITHOUT reacting with anger, guilt or the silent treatment- they decline a request- you accept it.

· Allowing your partner to be different without trying to manage or change them

· Addressing issues directly with your partner instead of using sarcasm, silence or pulling in a third person to mediate or vent to- this kills respect.

In closing- I would like to remind you that respect is truly the key to all relationships-even more than love. And if you feel yourself losing respect for someone you love, that isn’t a failure-it’s a signal. A signal to communicate honestly, to slow down, to do the work together and to give one another the opportunity to earn it back. Love can survive a lot of things , but when it comes to respect in order to survive it has to be protected.

Enjoy!

Joanne

The Aging Mask- A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast

949) 236-1529

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Acne literally means- “Something Coming to the Surface”- this definition alone tells you right away that acne is not random- its expressive!

Eastern Medicine says that acne is a modern expression of OVERLOAD- which means the body has more coming in than it can handle- AND when this happens- the skin steps in and helps release it.

In Eastern Medicine -Acne is NOT a skin problem- it’s a communication problem- your skin is a mirror- it reflects what’s happening inside your body.

Your skin reflects digestion, circulation, hormones, stress levels, it reflects Inflammation and heat- and how well your body can process and clear what it takes in-/ When communication inside the body gets noisy from overload- the skin can act as a release valve-and that release shows up acne.

With that being said – think of Acne Not as a problem with your skin, BUT as a “pattern” your body is communicating.

Just like sleep patterns, digestion patterns, & stress patterns- acne actually follows patterns too- and when we learn to read them- your skin will stop needing to speak so loudly to get your attention.

Eastern medicine views Acne in ‘patterns’.- Acne patterns are the repeating ways acne shows up on the body that gives clues about what’s happening internally.

Acne patterns tell us why it’s happening- and Acne mapping shows us where the body is expressing it – together they help us listen instead of guessing.

Here are 4 common acne patterns:

1.Congestion pattern- this looks like…

Whiteheads and blackheads-

Small bumps

Dull or thick looking skin

Common locations for this pattern are the:

forehead

cheeks

and around the mouth

The Eastern Medicines takeaway is your food is not being fully broken down so waste builds up- then your skin steps in to help the release

2-Heat and inflammation Pattern:

Red, angry inflamed pimples

Tender

Warm to the touch

These come on really quick- like sudden flare ups- and their

common locations are your:

Cheeks

Nose

Chest

Back

The eastern take away is your body is overheated and trying to release it through your skin. In other words- Heat rises- and when your body cant cool itself internally, it VENTS thru your skin

3- Hormonal & Stress Patterns

Looks like:

Deep

Cystic

Painful

Lingers along time- so slow to heal

And will often leave scarring

Common locations:

Chin

Jawline

& neck

Eastern takeaway is – When hormones don’t clear efficiently the imbalance settles deeper- and the body pushes that imbalance out through the skin

And the last acne pattern is..

4-Reactive/ pattern

This looks like:

Sudden breakouts

Tiny clusters of pimples

Itchy or irritated skin

But it will clear when a trigger (a product or food) is removed.

Common locations:

Chin

Hairline

Chest and Back

Temples

Eastern takeaway- This is all sensitivity- not dirty skin- your body is reacting to something it doesn’t tolerate.

Acne isn’t something your body is doing TO you- it’s something your body is doing FOR you.

Bottom line - In Eastern Medicine Acne shows up when heat builds, digestion slows, elimination weakens, stress gets stuck, and the body needs another way to communicate this.

Enjoy!

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask Podcast

949)236-1529

Follow along on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theagingmask