Keith McCurdy is back on Space for Life for a follow-up to his episode on raising sturdy kids. This time the focus shifts to the adults, because it takes a sturdy adult to raise a sturdy child. After 40 years in mental health and tens of thousands of families, Keith shares why healthy struggle is the engine of growth, how to stop letting your emotions run the show, and the practices that build the kind of strength to do hard things and stay rooted in what actually matters.

What You'll Take Away:

• Why healthy struggle is the engine of growth and maturity for adults, not just kids.
• How to stop letting emotions run you with the "no parenting above a five" rule.
• A simple framework for processing your past: honor what's honorable, respect what's respectable, and forgive the rest.
• Why most things that feel like emergencies are not, and the question to ask yourself in the moment.
• The four Ps that keep adults chasing the wrong identity, and what to chase instead.
• How forbearance and forgiveness function as the glue of every healthy relationship.
• Why cultivating relationships takes the same intentional effort we give our hobbies and our work.
• The one small step Keith recommends to start with today.
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Timestamps:

(0:00) Intro

(3:19) Why sturdiness matters now

(10:35) Short term happiness vs long term wellness

(19:48) We are not victims of our history

(25:49) Are your emotions running you

(27:14) The emotion Richter scale

(38:38) The four Ps of false identity

(43:54) Why we should not avoid struggle

(54:35) The practice of forbearance

(1:03:15) Start small with one thing

Resources:

• Keith's upcoming book, Raising Sturdy Kids, releasing May or June 2026.
• Basecamp Live podcast with Davies Owens, where Keith has appeared on roughly 50 episodes covering related topics.

In this episode, Tommy sits down with Shola Richards, known as The Kindness Extremist and Brother Teresa, to talk about what kindness actually looks like when life gets hard. Shola shares his story of moving from bullying, burnout, and a near tragic moment on an LA freeway to building a global mission around freakishly practical kindness. The conversation gets into the real difference between niceness and kindness, how to handle the toxic people in your life, and why the hardest person to be kind to is usually yourself.

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

• Why kindness takes more courage than most people realize
• Shola's story of being highly sensitive, bullied, and burned out, and the moment that redirected his life
• The clear difference between being nice and being kind
• Six warning signs of a truly toxic person versus someone just having a bad day
• The Just Like Me practice for staying open when you would normally judge
• Why forgiveness is an act of kindness toward yourself, not the person who hurt you
• A simple courtroom framework for cross-examining your own negative self-talk
• Box breathing, knowing your triggers, and other tools for staying responsive instead of reactive

Timestamps:

(0:00) Intro

(4:01) Shola's Story

(8:28) Making kindness freakishly practical

(14:05) Why kindness takes real courage

(16:30) Niceness vs kindness

(19:00) Six warning signs of a toxic person

(26:23) Are we part of the flood

(29:18) The 'Just Like Me' practice

(33:24) What forgiveness really means

(42:25) Boundaries as a backdoor kindness

(45:47) Turning kindness toward yourself

(49:29) The courtroom of the mind

(55:47) Where to find Shola

Resources / Next Steps:

• Shola's website, thesholarichards.com
• The Kindness Extremist Podcast
• Shola on Substack and LinkedIn
• Civil Unity by Shola Richards
• Go Together Global

Tommy reunites with close friend and collaborator Patricia Clarke for a rich, wide-ranging conversation on one of life's most important and most misunderstood questions: what does it actually mean to find and live a life of purpose? They bring two completely different approaches to the table, one intuitive and spontaneous, one intentional and structured, and together they land on something that applies to everyone regardless of age, season, or personality type. This is one of those conversations that will make you think differently about your own life.

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

• Why the question of purpose never goes away and keeps changing at every age and stage of life
• Patricia's Michelangelo framework: purpose is not something you implant, it is already inside you waiting to be revealed
• Tommy's four P framework for finding your purpose: passion, power, personality, and purpose
• Why the things that come most naturally to us are often the things we discount the most
• How accepting your deficiencies, not just your strengths, is one of the most freeing parts of living on purpose
• Patricia's waterfall story from Joshua Tree and why anything done in love has an eternal quality to it
• Why your grandmother's mashed potato recipe matters more than you think

Timestamps:

(0:00) Intro and reunion

(3:03) Purpose is a question that never goes away

(5:47) Michelangelo and the purpose already inside you

(11:08) Patricia's approach: spontaneous, intuitive, looking back

(20:12) Tommy's four P framework: passion, power, personality, purpose

(33:21) Accepting your deficiencies and living in your lane

(44:08) The Joshua Tree waterfall and love's eternal quality

(54:56) Closing encouragement for people who feel stuck

Resources / Next Steps: Share this episode with someone who is navigating a season of uncertainty about their purpose or calling.