Human beings have free will – of course they do! We make choices, and then we reflect on those choices in the hope that we can – hopefully – make better choices.

Which leads us to notions of responsibility and values (when we do what we said we’d do, or when we behave in a “good” way), and excuses, reasons and stories (when we act “out of character”, or we behave in a “not so good” way).

But what if this isn’t true? What if we’re always doing the best we can in any given moment, and the choices we make simply reflect that fact? What if the truth is that we do not have free will? What then?

Welcome, if you please, to the “chocolate teapot” world… in which… YOU DO NOT… HAVE… FREE WILL…

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better I do better." – Maya Angelou

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MUSIC: Unbroken Spirit by Sunfish Grove courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com

MORE: Sonder Lust Podcast

Firstly, the following three facts (about you) should NOT surprise you (though you likely take them for granted) 1) you are alive right now; 2) you are conscious of your experience of life; 3) you think (probably much more than you need to, especially about your experiences).

Agree? Well, those three un-surprising facts form the basis of the following three surprising ones: facts about what you really want, for example, facts about who you’re really trying to please (as a people pleaser), and facts about what you’re really battling against… in this game… called life…

And I’ll be very, very surprised if at least one of these facts (about you, me and everyone) doesn’t surprise you.

"The art of pleasing consists in being pleased." – William Hazlitt

Are right deeds and actions more important than right words and ideas? (Do actions speak louder than words?) Particularly, when it comes to solving the problems in your personal life, in your family and friends’ lives, and in the life of this world of ours?

Yes, it’s time for another difficult question, but this time I’m going to suggest an answer. I’m going to suggest to you, me and everyone – to the righteous and the not-so-righteous, to the meek and to the bold, to the ones like us and to the ones like them – that when it comes to what’s needed right now: we need to show, not tell. Because, maybe…

“Truth is lived, not taught.” — Hermann Hesse

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MUSIC: Unbroken Spirit by Sunfish Grove courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com

MORE: Sonder Lust Podcast

What if everything you’re DOING to make things better is only making things worse? (What if it’s actually the DOING that’s the problem?)

What if it turns out that your strengths (your ideologies, your values, your opinions) are your weaknesses, right now, and your weaknesses are your strengths?

What if the need to make someone listen or see or understand makes that same someone more determined not to listen or see or understand?

What, then?

Would you be willing to change your approach, to re-consider, and to let go of the ‘how’ in order to achieve the ‘what’? Would you be willing to put down your cherished sword? Well?...

“Defence is the first act of war.” - Byron Katie

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MUSIC: Unbroken Spirit by Sunfish Grove courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com

MORE: Sonder Lust Podcast

Why… do YOU do… what you do? Why do they… do… what they do? (Ever wondered?)

I don’t mean just the lovely - random acts of kindness, caring for strangers, loving friends and family – stuff that we do, but also the mean and nasty, admit-it-to-no-one, deny-it-to-everyone stuff.

Not just the never-do-it-again big acts of brutality, either, but the do-it-everyday small acts of thoughtless unkindness Yes, why do so-called good people do bad stuff? Similarly, why do some human beings see fit to inflict the worst kinds of atrocities on other human beings, and feel righteous in doing so? Is there a simple, single reason? Well, yes – actually – there is. A single reason. A perhaps unsatisfactory reason, and maybe it’s a “stating the bleedin’ obvious” reason, but there is a reason and that reason is what gets discussed in this particular podcast episode…

“Most people, when directly confronted by evidence that they are wrong, do not change their point of view or course of action but justify it even more tenaciously.

“Even irrefutable evidence is rarely enough to pierce the mental armor of self-justification.” — Carol Tavris

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SHOW NOTES:

MUSIC: Unbroken Spirit by Sunfish Grove courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com

MORE: Sonder Lust Podcast

Is it possible to learn from someone we really don’t like? If so, what can they teach us about our common humanity: about the strengths and values that we admire, and about the flaws and weaknesses that we’d rather not acknowledge - even to ourselves? Must we always demonise and shut down those that are ideologically opposed to us, as well as their supporters, or is there a better (more loving) way?

How about if that person is powerful, and influential and potentially dangerous to the welfare of those that we care about? Is there anything to learn from listening to such a person as this?

Well, it just so happens that a man fitting that description (to some) happens to exist at time of speaking these words. And in 2016, during the US presidential election, I wrote a poetic piece about this man, in relation to the mantra of “just being yourself”…

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” — Bruce Lee

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SHOW NOTES:

MUSIC: Unbroken Spirit by Sunfish Grove courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com

MORE: Sonder Lust Podcast

If life is a game, then what are the rules? Are these rules universal, or do we get to make up our own rules? What game is it that we’re each playing (are we playing the same game, for example, is the Hokey Cokey really what it’s all about)? Do these questions even matter?

In this episode I’ve come up with a few games of life, as well as suggested rules for each particular game. Lightheartedly so, of course.

But don’t be too quick to dismiss the jester! Chances are that not only do you think that life’s a game (consciously, or otherwise), you think that everyone else should be playing the same game as you (when they most certainly are not).

And this is true no matter how wise and loving the game of life is that you think you’re playing…

“Life is a puzzle, a riddle, a test, a mystery, a game—whatever challenge you wish to compare it to. Just remember, you're not the only participant; no one person holds all the answers, the pieces, or the cards. The trick to success in this life is to accumulate teammates and not opponents.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich

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SHOW NOTES:

01. Hmm, it seems I did not a) give much time for you to pause on the rules of life I suggested in the podcast and b) I did not directly address why it even matters if life is a game (then what are the rules). Hey ho! Imperfect offerings, and all that.

02. To elaborate a bit more on the game of life being The Hokey Cokey. Someone amusingly once asked, in relation to the song: what if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? (It, being life, of course.) Well, the rules of the game would have to be: in out, shake it all about! Wouldn't they?

MUSIC: Unbroken Spirit by Sunfish Grove courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com

MORE: Sonder Lust Podcast

Easy answers (blaming others) versus difficult questions (how is this my responsibility too?) – ooh, which one do you choose? Hah! Do you go for the oh-so-seductive "easy way" solution, or the "road less travelled" one? Well, one way makes the world a better place whilst the other way keeps things as they are…

In this episode I've put together a collection of difficult questions about the human condition – questions that really do not come with easy answers. And why have I done that? Well…

“To ask the 'right' question is far more important than to receive the answer. The solution of a problem lies in the understanding of the problem; the answer is not outside the problem, it is in the problem.” ― Jiddu Krishnamurti

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SHOW NOTES:

MUSIC: Unbroken Spirit by Sunfish Grove courtesy of www.epidemicsound.com

MORE: Sonder Lust Podcast