“Real power is speaking your desire without being attached to the outcome.”

What if the real power isn’t getting what you want but having the courage to ask for it?

In this episode, Dennis Hull joins to talk about sovereignty, desire, boundaries, rejection, and why attachment to outcome quietly runs so many of our lives. We unpack the philosophy behind tantra play spaces, the difference between safety and sovereignty, and why real community can’t be built online alone.

This is a conversation about pleasure without performance, asking without expectation, and learning how to stay present even when you hear no.

Messy. Honest. Deeply human.

Connect with Dennis
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdennishull/
Website: https://www.dennishull.com/

Support the Pod: $$$
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

For all the peptide goodies, join me on Ellie MD.
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Kristin's Best-Selling Book:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Podcast:
YouTube
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

...

"Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness. The salvation, then, is to be found in the body..."

What if trauma isn’t something to heal or release but something that formed intelligently in response to life?

In this episode, I sit down with Will Rezin of Trauma & Somatics for a deep, grounding conversation on trauma, attachment, procrastination, nervous system regulation, and why so many of us never actually feel completion, only “what’s next?”

This episode isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about understanding how you formed and what becomes possible when survival isn’t the only goal anymore.

🎧 Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro & why this conversation matters
02:00 – What trauma actually is (and isn’t)
08:45 – Outcomes, productivity, & pressure to perform
12:30 – Why completion never lands
15:40 – Attachment styles in the body
19:30 – Anxious vs avoidant vs disorganized
24:20 – Earned secure & nervous system repatterning
28:40 – Story follows state
31:00 – Why “safe space” language can backfire
40:20 – Boundaries as skills, not traits
44:00 – Dogs, co-regulation, & Boudreaux
49:30 – Trauma & Somatics trainings

Free Anthony de Mello Lecture: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pttMPB1EPdXjIkj3q-ZQ6GCuOQfhGa5k/view

The next cohort of Attachment & Somatics begins on Feb 13th, 2026, with the first class scheduled for Feb 16th.

The next cohort of Trauma & Somatics begins May 2026.

🌐 Connect with Will:
https://traumaandsomatics.com
https://www.instagram.com/willrezin
https://www.instagram.com/traumaandsomatics
https://substack.com/@traumaandsomatics
https://traumaandsomatics.com/the-somara-collective/ (Membership)

Support the Pod: $$$
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

For all the peptide goodies, join me on Ellie MD.
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Kristin's Best-Selling Book:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Podcast:
YouTube
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

...

“The longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it is to get home.”

In this episode, I sit down with Leola, tantra teacher, bestselling author, and host of Talk Tantra To Me, for a conversation that gently roasts manifestation culture, flirts with devotion, and asks an interesting question: What if desire is how God speaks to us?

We explore:
- Why your desires are rarely about the thing (sorry)
- How control issues are often just trust wounds in a trench coat
- The difference between egoic craving and soul-level longing
- Why “manifesting harder” might actually be anxiety in lingerie
- How surrender doesn’t mean giving up — it means giving over
- God as lover, leader, and the one who may lovingly wreck your vision board
- Why the body is still the most avoided spiritual teacher in the room
- And what happens when you stop seducing outcomes and start seducing truth...

This episode is for you if..
- You’re tired of forcing things to happen
- You secretly suspect desire isn’t the villain
- Your vision board needs a gentle exorcism
- Or you’re ready to trust something wiser than your ego

It’s deep. It’s funny. It may lovingly call you out.

Listen if you’re ready to stop begging the universe & start having an honest conversation with it.

🎧 Press play. Listen to the whisper...don't wait for the yell.

Timestamps:
01:30 – What’s making Leola feel most alive right now
06:30 – The Three-Minute Game (intimacy exercise)
09:45 – God as a domme + resistance to surrender
13:20 – Finding God in the body
16:00 – Desire vs. egoic craving
19:50 – Becoming a slave to desire
25:40 – Receiving love & nervous system healing
30:15 – Relationship patterns & self-audit
33:50 – When a vision dies, grief, & trust
38:45 – Trusting the nudge
44:30 – Devotion through the tantric lens
50:20 – If God had a dating profile…

Connect with Leola:
Website: talktantratome.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/talktantratome

Support the Pod: $$$
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

For all the peptide goodies, join me on Ellie MD.
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Kristin's Best-Selling Book:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Podcast:
YouTube
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

...

In this episode of Sex, Drugs, & Soul, I sit down with Mayra Leen, author, hypnotherapist, and priestess, for a conversation on presence, feminine integration, desire, intuition, and living outside societal structures.

Mayra shares her journey from corporate success and burnout into priestess embodiment, her truth about rest versus aliveness, and why presence itself is the portal to everything we want. Together, we explore money as energy, separating work from worth, non-monogamy and creative relationship models, trusting intuition through play, and the danger of turning healing into a never-ending project.

This episode is an invitation to claim arrival, not as an endpoint, but as a lived experience of being here, now, and fully alive.

Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome + What’s Alive Right Now
01:20 – The Priestess Archetype & Collective Awakening
05:05 – Corporate Success, Capricorn Energy, & Burnout
09:40 – The Moment Everything Shifted
11:30 – Dropping Into the Feminine During COVID
13:35 – Feminine ≠ Rest Only: Integration Matters
15:40 – Soft Girl Era Myths & Common Mistakes
17:25 – Rest vs. Aliveness
19:50 – Priestess Weekends & Living Ritual
22:10 – Money, Devotion, & Being Paid for Being
25:45 – Presence as Medicine
28:25 – Trusting Intuition & Self-Leadership
36:10 – The “Eight Husbands” Concept
42:30 – Non-Monogamy, Depth, & Creative Relationships
49:50 – Presence as a Portal
57:30 – Feeling Emotions & Clearing the Backlog
1:01:00 – Claiming Arrival

🌐 Connect with Mayra:
•⁠ ⁠Website: www.mayraleen.com
•⁠ ⁠Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayraleen/

✨ Offer for Listeners:
Exclusive invitation to Wet, Wild, and Wealthy Online Membership.
Use code WETWELCOME to receive one month free of live calls with Mayra.

Support the Pod: $$$
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

For all the peptide goodies, join me on Ellie MD.
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Kristin's Best-Selling Book:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Podcast:
YouTube
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

...

“Old keys don’t open new doors, and this year asked me to choose new ones.”

In this solo episode of Sex, Drugs, & Soul, I reflect on a year that brought me to my knees and opened my heart.

I explore what it means to receive an answered prayer, release old patterns, and choose bold faith over familiar intensity. Through stories of organic love, spiritual curiosity, church rediscovery, vulnerability, sacred eroticism, and inner child healing, this episode invites listeners to slow down, get honest, and align with the life they say they want.

Topics include...
• Letting go of old keys and opening new doors
• Slow-burn love vs. intensity
• Faith, integrity, and intentional living
• Vulnerability vs. exposure
• Stillness, safety, and nervous system regulation
• Erotic energy as holy and sacred
• Play, presence, and inner child healing

This episode is for anyone standing at the threshold of something new, wondering if they’re brave enough to receive it.

Chapters:

00:00 Reflections on 2025: A Year of Transformation

02:55 New Beginnings: Embracing Vulnerability in Relationships

05:44 Intentional Living: Setting Goals for the New Year

08:31 Faith and Spirituality: A Journey of Self-Discovery

11:16 The Power of Vulnerability: Building Deeper Connections

13:56 Exploring the Intersection of the Erotic and the Holy

17:12 The Role of Stillness in Personal Growth

19:33 Embracing Playfulness and Choice in Life

Support the Pod: $$$
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

For all the peptide goodies, join me on Ellie MD.
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Kristin's Best-Selling Book:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Podcast:
YouTube
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

...

“The mask that keeps you from being abandoned is the same one that keeps you from being loved.”

This episode is not soft.
It’s not performative.
And it’s definitely not comfortable.

Licensed therapist C.R. Herro returns for one of the most raw, intellectually honest, and emotionally confronting conversations on Sex, Drugs, & Soul to date.

We unpack:

• Why archetypes and masks feel safe but sabotage intimacy
• The uncomfortable truth that sex is not love
• How trauma teaches us to outsource safety, worth, and belonging
• Why kindness is strength (and intensity is often a red flag)
• The fantasy of being rescued & the grief of letting it die
• What it actually means to become your own hero

This is a conversation about responsibility, embodiment, emotional honesty, and the courage it takes to stop performing and start living.

🎧 Listen if you’re ready to stop numbing, stop pretending, and start telling yourself the truth.

00:00 – Welcome + why this conversation will ruffle feathers
03:00 – What’s turning C.R. on: access, honesty, & emotional availability
07:30 – Why being human is harder than we admit
12:00 – Archetypes vs authenticity: the mask we wear to feel safe
18:00 – The puppet metaphor: why the mask blocks real love
24:00 – Trauma, self-blame, & being crueler to ourselves than others
30:00 – Codependence vs hyper-independence (same wound, different armor)
36:00 – The fantasy of being rescued
42:00 – Sex ≠ love: the most expensive lie
48:00 – Intensity vs kindness (red flags that look like desire)
54:00 – Dropping performance & choosing emotional responsibility
60:00 – The 80th birthday exercise: playing the tape all the way forward
68:00 – Becoming your own hero
75:00 – Love without possession & interdependence
82:00 – Final reflections, integration, & closing wisdom

Support the Pod: $$$
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

For all the peptide goodies, join me on Ellie MD.
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Kristin's Best-Selling Book:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Podcast:
YouTube
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

...

In this powerful conversation, Spencer Coursen, veteran, threat management expert, bestselling author, and host of Coursen’s Corner, opens up about the journey from trauma to healing, and what it truly means to “win the war within.”

Spencer opens up about his journey from childhood abuse and combat trauma to finding triumph through various healing modalities. We explore the critical differences between instinct and intuition, the "pussification" of the modern male, and how to build authentic self-confidence. Spencer also shares the story behind his darkest moment, the service dog who saved his life, his profound experiences with psychedelics (Psilocybin and Ibogaine), and how they catalyzed integrating years of therapy into true healing.

Whether you are a veteran, a survivor of childhood trauma, or someone looking to strengthen your mental resilience, this video provides a roadmap for moving from a "badge of trauma" to a "lighthouse of hope." Watch until the end to hear Spencer’s incredible dragon story and his advice on dating, setting boundaries, and why honoring your instincts is a radical act of self-protection.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn About:
- Complex PTSD and how "big T" and "little T" traumas compound
- How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps reframe past perspectives
- The role of Psilocybin and Ibogaine in healing deep-seated shame and guilt
- The vital distinction between Safety vs. Security and Fear vs. Anxiety
- Practical tips for men on building authentic masculinity and for women on vetting partners by honoring instincts

Spencer’s new book, Winning the War Within, releases June 26, 2026.

If you have ever wondered what heals trauma or how to navigate the long road of healing from Complex PTSD (CPTSD), this deep dive offers both professional insight and raw, personal experience.

Connect with Spencer:
Website: https://www.spencercoursen.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/s.coursen/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxwzst3QHsORLLRzluNw7s6LW0G_O6HZc
The Safety Trap

Support the Pod: $$$
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

For all the peptide goodies, join me on Ellie MD.
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Kristin's Best-Selling Book:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Podcast:
YouTube
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

...

Alexis & I discuss leaving the hard grind of the hypermasculine and slipping into a slower, fuller, more feminine way of being. She opens up about the night ayahuasca called her in, the decision to remove her IUD after twelve years, and how her libido and emotional depth surged back the moment she started listening to her body again.

We delve into the 10-second rule that draws men into deeper communication, the breath that pulls you out of survival mode, and the kind of softening that makes connection feel hotter, safer, and more genuine.

This is a rich, grounded, sensual dive into desire, self-mastery, nervous system truth, and what happens when you finally let your body lead.

Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction
01:22 - Self-Mastery & Shifting into the Feminine
07:18 - Medicine vs. Escape
09:42 - Communication Shifts After Softening
11:09 - Heard, Helped, or Held?
13:45 - Curiosity Over Defensiveness
15:30 - Nervous System Regulation Tools
20:02 - Polarity & Inspiring Masculine Presence
24:30 - Enthusiasm: The Feminine Superpower
27:25 - Setting Men Up to Win
32:10 - Speaking Desires Clearly
34:00 - Rebuilding Trust After Rupture
40:10 - Truth-Telling & Emotional Clarity
45:20 - Clarity in Dating & Relationships
53:02 - Expanding the Capacity to Feel
58:16 - Being Human & Remembering Why We're Here

Connect with Alexis:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexisquiterio
Website: https://stan.store/alexisquiterio

Support the Pod: $$$
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell

Connect with Kristin:
Website - https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/
Instagram - http://instagram.com/kristinbirdwell_
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@sexdrugssoul

For all the peptide goodies, join me on Ellie MD.
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Kristin's Best-Selling Book:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sex, Drugs, & Soul on Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Audiobook Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Podcast:
YouTube
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

...