For years, Becky thought empathy meant saying, "I've been there too." It turns out that can leave people feeling less seen, not more.

In this solo episode, Becky shares what she's learned in four years of trying to communicate better. It started with a misunderstanding around her daughter's wedding and led to a surprising moment with her teenage son. Drawing on Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, and her coach training with Jody Moore, she walks through five strategies to keep hard conversations from turning into catastrophes.

IN THIS EPISODE

- Why relating to someone's experience isn't the same as empathy

- How a pause can be a gift for both of you

- Three ways to practice empathy: on strangers, on yourself, and in real conversations

- The "It seems like…" mirror that helps people feel seen

- Owning your mistakes without defending yourself or sliding into shame

- Why asking for what you need isn't selfish, plus a simple sentence to do it

THE 5 STRATEGIES

1. Pause

2. Practice empathy

3. Be a mirror

4. Own your mistakes

5. Communicate your needs and requests

TRY THIS WEEK

In your next tense moment, skip "I think you're…" and try one "It sounds like…" Then stop and listen.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Why conversations are hard

00:30 Free Coaching

01:00 What is Empathy?

02:01 The Wedding Disaster That Started it All

03:16 Strategy 1: Pause

05:27 Strategy 2: Practice Empathy

09:05 Strategy 3: Be a Mirror

10:56 Strategy 4: Own Your Mistakes

12:39 Strategy 5: Communicate your Needs and Requests

16:07 Closing

FREE DOWNLOAD:

Sendy Mom Feelings Guide: [add link]

FIND RESOURCES HERE:

Empathy Isn't What I Thought It Was: 5 Strategies for Hard Conversations

FURTHER LISTENING:

Hard Conversations, Healthy Boundaries, and Mediation

Overwhelmed Mom? How 30 Minutes in Nature Can Change Your Spiritual Life

WORK WITH BECKY:

Book a free coaching session: https://sendymom.com/freecoaching/

CONNECT:

Website: https://sendymom.com

Instagram: @beckyb.coach

What does being sendy mean to you? Tell Becky in the comments or send her a message on Instagram.

What if your hardest seasons are actually gifts?

At 30, Wendy Johnson was so sick she could barely remember her own name, and no doctor had answers. Her search for natural healing led her to muscle testing, herbs, and eventually Bowenwork, a gentle therapy that works through the fascia and nervous system to help the body remember how to heal. Then her 20-month-old daughter went into kidney failure, and Wendy learned healing sometimes means herbs AND modern medicine.

Becky and Wendy talk about what Bowen therapy is, how stored trauma lives in the body, caring for aging parents on hospice, and why Wendy calls trials gifts. Plus: a non-refundable ticket to Italy and a hot air balloon dare.

This episode shares personal experiences and is not medical advice.

Meet Wendy Johnson:

Wendy is a Bowenwork practitioner in Highland, Utah, a mother of four daughters, and grandmother of nine. Since her 30s she has been on a body-mind-spirit quest, learning muscle testing, herbs, and emotional release work. After Bowenwork helped her husband's sciatica and her own post-COVID brain fog, she completed all 12 levels of practitioner training. She believes our bodies are amazing and able to heal given the right input.

🌿 UtahValleyBowenwork.com

Chapters:

00:00 What Makes Wendy a Sendy Mom?

02:30 Sick at 30 With No Answers

04:53 Muscle Testing and Epstein-Barr

07:19 Going All-In on Herbs

09:29 Antibiotics, Tofu, and Clean Living

12:04 Kidney Failure at 20 Months

16:12 The Transplant Years

18:42 How Bowenwork Found Her

19:20 Fascia, Dams, and the Power of Thought

23:06 What Is Bowenwork?

26:32 Kevin's Sciatica and COVID Brain Fog

28:00 What Happens in a Bowen Session

30:57 Bowen Miracles

34:18 Midway Break

36:28 Every Trial Is a Gift

38:42 Caring for a Father-in-Law on Hospice

41:55 Bridging Time for a Brother-in-Law

45:50 Rapid Fire Questions

Takeaways:

✨ Your body knows how to heal. Bowenwork's light moves over the fascia tell the brain, "that's not the original blueprint."

✨ Herbs or medicine? Sometimes both. Gather all the information, then listen to your inner voice.

✨ Healing takes time. The body keeps making changes for 7–10 days after a session.

✨ Every trial can hold a gift: "Help me to find the gift in this. Help me to find peace."

✨ Make it hard to back out. Sit with the fear for 90 seconds, then book the non-refundable ticket.

Resources

Your Body Knows How to Heal: Bowen Therapy, Fascia, and the Gift in the Trial

If you loved this episode, try:

🎧 Natural Healing Roots: Lessons from a Sendy Mom

Coaching & Subscribe:

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👉 Email Becky: becky@sendymom.com

If you want help to be more sendy, click here

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Susan Stange finished last in every single hurdles race she ever ran. Then her dad showed up to watch and told her, "If it weren't for you out there, none of those other guys would be winners." In this episode, Becky sits down with her youngest sister, the twelfth of twelve kids, to talk about the one sentence from Dad that shaped Susan's whole life: "If you don't try out, you're guaranteed not to make it." Susan went from mom blogger to birth photographer, became a doula during COVID, planned her own peaceful home birth, took up adult ballet for beginners after a foot zoning session, and now shoots and creates content for her kids' soccer club. The sisters also talk honestly about a season when saying no made Susan miserable, how asking for help and remembering God brought her back, and how to raise resilient kids who never blame their teammates.

Find Susan: susanstange.com | Instagram @susan.joy.az

Takeaways

- You only fail if you don't try. Try it, and if you need to, pivot.

- You don't have to be good at something for it to fill you. Find the creative medium you enjoy.

- Closing a chapter on purpose isn't giving up. It makes room for what's next.

- Saying no to everything can make you just as unhappy as saying yes to everything. Choose your yes.

- Asking for help takes courage. Journaling, counseling, and faith can all help you find your way back.

- Help kids pick one goal they can control, and never blame your teammates.

- You don't have to be consistent. Be consistently trying.

- Everybody is necessary, even the one who finishes last.

Resources

If You Don't Try, You're Guaranteed Not to Make It: Pivoting, Pirouettes, and Pictures

If you loved this episode, try:

- From Opera to Sculpture: Overcoming Fear on Stage and in Art with Angela Johnson

- Resilient Parenting, Risk-Taking, and Medical Aesthetics Done Right with Rachel Lark

- ADHD, Theatre Fitness, and Using Your Energy as a Superpower with Emily McKinney

Coaching & Subscribe:

👉 Subscribe: sendymom.com

👉 Email Becky: becky@sendymom.com

If you want help to be more sendy, click here

If you're feeling Sendy and would like to be a guest on the show, please fill out this form

You can be an Illuminator. Explore the concept of being an illuminator and recognizing diminisher behaviors. We dive into what it means to be an illuminator, and the steps to becoming an illuminator.

Takeaways

• You are both an Diminisher and Illuminator at times
• Your thoughts determine how you show up with people

Chapters

• 00:00 The Role of an Illuminator
• 02:23 Understanding Diminisher Behaviors
• 08:17 Steps to Becoming an Illuminator

Resources

The 3 steps to becoming an illuminator

sendymom.com/freecoaching

She got herself to cross country practice. She paid for it. Her mom never chased her about piano, or hair, or being on time — she just loved her kids, and never once judged herself for how she was doing it. Decades later, Nicole has driven her own family through thirteen countries in five months, and once lay in bed paralyzed with fear over a $10 Spanish lesson. In this episode, Nicole and Becky talk about moms who provide everything versus moms who provide nothing, why she told her first grader's teacher "no," and why she thinks safety is quietly killing our communities.

Meet Nicole Gardner

Nicole Gardner is a mother of six, the tenth of eleven children, and a certified life coach trained through the Brave Thinking Institute and Jody Moore's Better Than Happy Coach Training Program. She and her husband once shipped their van to Spain and spent five months driving their kids through thirteen countries, from Morocco to Egypt. In the middle of raising teenagers, she's learning Spanish and taking piano for the first time in her life. She loves easily, drops judgment fast, and is quietly compiling her ninety-year-old mother's life story one sibling interview at a time.

@momcoachnicole

nicolegardnercoaching.com

Podcast - Becoming with Nicole Gardner

Takeaways

- Do it scared

- There is no perfect way to raise a family

- Letting a six-year-old fail at turning in homework is cheap

- What you focus on increases

- Safety isn't the goal. Growth is

- Your job as a mom is to make them not need you

- Notice how you talk to yourself. Then answer yourself the way you'd answer a friend.

Chapters:

00:33 Doing it Scared with Preply

03:54 Tenth of Eleven: Childhood and Her Parents' Divorce

06:49 The Mom Who Never Judged Herself — And Why That Mattered

12:14 Chores, Consequences, and Raising Kids Who Don't Need You

23:46 5 Months, 13 Countries: What a Family Sabbatical Really Looks Like

27:36 Midway

29:23 At a Crossroads

30:33 The Forge: Her Husband's Radical Homeschool Dream

35:55 25 Years a Mom — Then What? Finding Her Next Chapter

36:53 Organization Hacks

47:05 The 3 Skills Every Life Coach Needs: Love, Neutrality, Space

49:59 "What You Focus On Increases": Radical Acceptance in Marriage & Motherhood

51:24 Is Too Much Safety Hurting Our Kids? A Mom's Take

55:17 Rapid Fire Questions

If you liked this, you'll love these:

1. Radical Acceptance with Miriam Wood

8. Fierce Family Love: Traditions, Europe Bike Trips, and Courage

Letting Go So You Can Soar: 4 Lessons in Courage

Resources:

"I Just Did It Anyway": 4 Lessons in Courage from Nicole Gardner

Subscribe:

Sendymom.com

sendymom.com/freecoaching

Allison Lee has let go of a lot: her own degree, a "perfect" interview, control over the weather on every family trip. What she's found on the other side is a marriage built like a team, four kids who choose their own hard things, and a life she wakes up grateful for every morning. In this episode, Allison and Becky talk about raising resilient kids without forcing them, going back to work after 20 years at home, camping in a tiny van across Iceland, and the line her sister-in-law dropped on her: "Your whole life is an interview."

Meet Allison Lee
Allison Lee is a wife to an ultra-runner, mother of four, and full-time administrative secretary at a junior high who moves through challenge, change, and chaos with quiet, unshakable faith. She's the fourth of six kids, a lifelong "starter" of clubs and ideas, and someone who believes the best version of life is usually just on the other side of what scares you. Off the clock, she's chasing northern lights from an empty road in Iceland, filling a gratitude journal one line at a time, and building family traditions — from cardboard-airplane "vacations" to road-trip playlists — that keep her big, close-knit family coming back to each other.

Takeaways

• Growth needs exiting comfort zones and real choice.
• Letting kids quit, once thought through, builds resilience.
• "Your whole life is an interview" — show up before you need anything.
• No perfect plan needed. Book the trip.
• Gratitude is a practice — one line a day changes what you notice.

Chapters

00:00 Introducing Allison Lee

01:50 "Let Go of the Life You're Living" — Where the Quote Landed

04:13 Growing Up the Peacemaker of Six

08:54 Health Scares and a Lifelong Fascination With the Heart

13:29 Marriage as a Team: Ultra Running and Raising Courageous Kids

18:49 The Tackle Football Story: Letting Kids Choose Their Own Hard

23:22 Family First: In-Laws, Holidays, and Letting Kids Leave the Nest

26:48 From Volunteer to Junior High Secretary: Going Back to Work

32:43 "Your Whole Life Is an Interview"

37:22 Building a Life of Goodness: Gratitude and "The Cup"

39:41 Making Memories: COVID Pretend Trips and Road-Trip Playlists

44:10 Extended Family Reunions and Staying Connected

47:49 Camping in Iceland: Taking the First Courageous Step

52:19 The Northern Lights and Embracing the Unplanned

59:12 Rapid Fire Questions

Resources

Letting Go So You Can Soar: 4 Lessons in Courage

If you loved this episode, try:

- Fierce Family Love: Traditions, Europe Bike Trips, and Courage with Kim Jonas

- How to Do Hard Things: Pain, Purpose & Personal Growth

Coaching & Subscribe

👉 Subscribe: sendymom.com

👉 Email Becky: becky@sendymom.com

If you want help to be more sendy, click here (https://beckybcoaching.com)

If you're feeling Sendy and would like to be a guest on the show, please fill out this form

Close your eyes and imagine a world where children as young as eight are carrying AK-47 rifles down your street, where young girls are used for sex daily just to survive. That was Liberia during fourteen years of civil war — and it's the world Leymah Gbowee decided to stand up against, not with a weapon, but with a white t-shirt, hours spent sitting on bare ground with her sisters in the rain and heat, and a refusal to leave a room until peace was signed.

In this Sendy Spotlight, we trace Leymah's path from a childhood marked by poverty, an abusive relationship, and crushing depression, through the moment a single conversation turned her personal pain into a political calling, to the day she and hundreds of Liberian women — Christian and Muslim, standing together — locked arms around a peace conference and refused to move until Charles Taylor's government and the rebel factions signed an agreement to end the war. We'll also explore the historical roots of Liberia's conflict, the philosophy of reconciliation and restorative justice that shaped Leymah's life after the war, and what her 2011 Nobel Peace Prize–winning story teaches us about courage, forgiveness, and refusing to keep running.

• Your pain can become your qualification
• Personal pain is often political
• Courage doesn't always require a weapon
• Forgiveness is about your own freedom, not the other person's innocence
• Someone believing in you can change everything
• The people closest to a problem often understand the solution best

00:00 Sendy Spotlight on Leymah Gbowee

01:43 THE LIBERIA SHE WAS BORN INTO

04:21 LESSON 1: WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM?

11:41 LESSON 2: EQUALITY DOESN'T MEAN EQUAL

15:39 LESSON 3: IT SOMETIMES TAKES ANOTHER PERSON TO LIFT YOU

18:26 LESSON 4: RECONCILIATION IS HOW YOU GET FREE

24:44 CLOSING

If you loved this, try:

9. From Trafficking Survivor to Advocate: Faith's Story

24. Women Doing Something! Teaching Love with Rachel Miner of Bellwether International

30. How You Can Help End Poverty: From Crickets to Crops and Feeding the 7,000

If you are considering a church mission and want it to be easy and fun, e-mail "easy mission" to beckybcoaching@gmail.com.

Listen to my harrowing tale of sailing through the Whitsunday Islands, as I talk to Sarah Fowler about taking risks, and saying yes to an infertility diagnosis, a move to Belgium with an eight-week-old baby, and a quick decision to move to Hawaii. This week, Sarah opens up about what it actually takes to raise resilient, risk-ready kids — and why staying stagnant scares her more than any risk ever could.

Meet Sarah Fowler

Sarah grew up with four brothers who taught her to go with the flow. She met her husband, Kellen — a fellow Fowler, at BYU. Since then, life has been one leap after another: law school in Virginia, a corporate move to Dallas, a wake-up call infertility diagnosis, a year living in Belgium with a newborn, and now four kids, working as a nurse, and a growing real estate portfolio she manages with her husband. She's teaching her own kids the same lesson her parents taught her — jump first, look later.

Takeaways

- Leading by example is the fastest way to teach kids courage: don't dwell at the edge, just jump.

- Infertility rarely follows a straight timeline

- You don't need expertise to start investing in real estate

- Letting kids face natural consequences builds independence faster than rescuing them ever will.

- Staying stagnant is scarier than starting over. Growth requires forward motion.

Chapters

00:20 Growing Up Wild: Sarah Fowler on Brothers, Boats, and Going With the Flow

03:43 Kayaks in the Garage: Lessons From an Adventurous Childhood

05:16 Becky's Ill-Fated Boating Trip to the Whitsundays

10:15 Why Kid Sports Are About More Than Winning

12:57 From Law School to Belgium: Following an Unexpected Career Path

18:13 When Your Body Says No: Sarah Fowler's Infertility Story

23:30 Midway

24:51 Cliff Jumping and Confidence: Teaching Kids Not to Overthink

26:05 he COVID Move: Renting a Condo in Hawaii on a Whim

28:37 The Forgotten Dance Bag: A Lesson in Natural Consequences

31:44 Stagnation is Terrifying

33:32 From Spreadsheets to Scary First Deals: Building a Real Estate Portfolio

37:27 Rapid Fire Questions

Resources

52. From Fear to Freedom: One Mom's Leap Into the Unknown

If you loved this episode, try:

16. How To Not Die in the Wilderness and Learning to Smell the Daisies

25. Embracing Change, Making Choices, and Finding Joy: Jen Lambert’s Inspiring Story

26. Teaching Children to Work, Love, and Be Bored with Dorothy Scoresby

Coaching & Subscribe:

👉 Subscribe: sendymom.com

👉 Email Becky: becky@sendymom.com

If you want help to be more sendy, click here (https://beckybcoaching.com)

If you're feeling Sendy and would like to be a guest on the show, please fill out this form (https://forms.gle/BSyr8JJZM828vzqH7)