We keep hearing that the birth rate is falling, the economy is panicking, and somehow the solution lives in women’s bodies. In this episode, I’m saying the quiet part out loud: every reason to have children is selfish -- and that’s not a bad thing. As a mother of four, I unpack why choosing not to have children is not selfish at all, but often an act of self-preservation. Through my own birth stories, research on maternal health, and the realities no one puts on the baby shower invitation, this episode challenges the idea that women owe their bodies, or their lives, to society. Motherhood should always be a choice, never a moral obligation.

Resources mentioned:

• Diary of a CEO podcast episode featuring Dr. Erica Komisar (discussion on declining birth rates and women’s autonomy)

In this episode, I cover:

• Why women’s bodies are not economic policy or national resources
• The real, lifelong physical and mental costs of pregnancy and childbirth
• Why there is no truly “selfless” reason to have children, and why honesty matters
• How child-free women often help hold families and communities together
• A practical decision framework to help you decide if having (or having more) children is right for you

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

Connect with Me:

• Instagram
• Shop My
• LTK
• YouTube - Chancè
• YouTube - Selfish Parenting
• TikTok

When you think about the personal rules you follow while parenting your children, how many of those are shaped by an experience you’ve had in your life? Chances are, at least one or two of the daily decisions you make are shaped by trauma. That’s why I’m so excited to have Kobe Campbell, an award-winning licensed trauma therapist, on the podcast! We discuss how trauma impacts our lives, why you should stop dismissing your trauma as “not that bad,” and the role trauma therapy can play in helping us heal.

Kobe Campbell, LCMHC is an award-winning licensed trauma therapist, bestselling author, speaker, and entertainment consultant. As a seminary-trained therapist, she specializes in helping people understand how their past shapes their present through her signature work on inner child healing and breaking generational cycles. Her 4x #1 Amazon bestselling book, Why Am I Like This? How to Break Cycles, Heal From Trauma, and Restore Your Faith has transformed thousands of lives by combining evidence-based therapy with faith-filled compassion.

Connect with Kobe:

• Why Am I Like This? by Kobe Campbell
• Instagram
• TikTok
• YouTube

Some key takeaways from this episode include:

• If something happened to you that changed the way you interact with the world, it was probably a traumatic event. Even if it didn’t impact people around you, or “doesn’t seem that bad” compared to what others have been through, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic.
• There are two things we might develop as a result of trauma: adaptive practices and maladaptive practices. Adaptive practices might keep you healthy and safe, but maladaptive practices can result in you repeating generational trauma or keeping loved ones at arm’s length.
• The growth and healing you experience in therapy will hopefully cover you for a lifetime, but healing isn’t linear and it happens over the course of your whole life. You might go to therapy for six months, then feel good and not need therapy for years, then go back when you notice unhealthy patterns.

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

Connect with Me:

• Instagram
• Shop My
• LTK
• YouTube - Chancè
• YouTube - Selfish Parenting
• TikTok

This episode contains graphic depictions of domestic violence. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text “START” to 88788.

Leaving isn’t the hard part. It’s admitting to yourself that what you’ve been calling “home” has been hurting you. In this episode, I sit down with Wadzanai Karanja, a domestic violence survivor and single mother, to talk about the red flags she didn’t yet know to name, the years of isolation that kept her far from help, and the moment she chose safety over staying. We also break down the research that debunks the idea that children need two parents under one roof to thrive, and dig into what emotional safety, stability, and real community support actually look like for single mothers rebuilding their lives on their own terms.

Wadzanai Karanja is a survivor, a mother, and a passionate voice for women choosing safety over expectation. Her story is a powerful reminder that protecting your child sometimes begins with protecting yourself.

Resources mentioned:

• Journal of Marriage and Family: Longitudinal study on children leaving high-conflict homes (1,400 participants)
• American Psychological Association: Resilience in stable single-parent households
• National Center for Health Statistics: Maternal education as a protective factor

In this episode, we cover:

• The early red flags of coercive control
• How isolation and fear keep women from leaving
• Why many “traditional” family norms harm more than they help
• What the research says about single-parent stability
• How community becomes a lifeline for survivors
• A parenting truth that might change how you view “broken homes”

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

Connect with Me:

• Instagram
• Shop My
• LTK
• YouTube - Chancè
• YouTube - Selfish Parenting
• TikTok