This week, take a trip with Dan and Maureen to the weirdest cruise route (currently) in the world. Also, let’s talk writing! And why everyone has to get really drunk to be around Trump. And how there’s a war but it’s not a war and it’s won already but it’s about to start except it is over and the Strait of Hormuz is completely open but we’ve closed it and Iran has closed it and there’s a ceasefire and there is bombing and it will all be settled soon by America’s Failsons. So don’t worry.

Meet you on the Lido Deck, SaysWhovia!

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Dan and Maureen have a new home! They just need to legally buy it and move in, but it is theirs. Dan is going to become a Druid and Maureen is going to make food and write spells.

Why not?

After all, this week: JD Vance destroyed the hopes of the Hungarian far-right and then tanked talks with Iran while Donald Trump watched a cage match. Donald Trump turned himself into Jesus and decided to fight the Chicago Pope. Then he got McDonald’s fake delivered.

So yeah. We’re all going to the Misty Mountains. Grab a staff, SaysWhovia. It’s time for Magick.

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Dan and Maureen get together on this Wednesday morning (a day later than usual) to break down the important things: Maureen’s new kitchen blind, a planner from Staples, possible nuclear war, mysterious fried chicken smells, the blessed air purifier, a head of FEMA teleporting to a Waffle House, and the power of commenting online.

Considering the week we've all had, it’s actually pretty positive.

Don’t give up, SaysWhovia. Come dance with us. You’ve got the music in you.

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Dan has been out on the road working on his book and now he is tired. Also, he has not been looking at the news. But Maureen has a story that summarizes all he, and SaysWhovia, needs to know.

Hold on to your butts, SaysWhovia.

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How’s anyone supposed to cope with things these days? The war? The chaos? The madman in charge? So many problems! Dan is worried.

Everybody relax, because Maureen has an idea.

Nice deep inhale, SaysWhovia. Everything’s going to be fine now.

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What’s that sound, SaysWhovia? Why, that’s the sound of tiny shoes and great big shoes—shoes of every size, tapping all over the White House! Special Correspondent A.C. Shoe reports from the remains of the East Wing, where there’s something afoot!

Seriously, this week is terrible so we’re going to talk about Trump’s weird shoe thing.

Step inside, SaysWhovia! The shoe might not fit, but wear it anyway!

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Maureen has pneumonia and now she and Dan are going to try to explain the war, and also 2001: A Space Odyssey.

This is one of those episodes, SaysWhovia.

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Maureen is sick. Just a little sick! Dan wants her to back to bed, but Maureen has too many stories to tell…stories of princes, Lords of Darkness, arcane rituals, and houses that cost a single peppercorn. The UK is full of intrigue!

Meanwhile, it’s all pizza and beer and war over in the US. Why can’t we get a magical house for a single peppercorn or have a prince that’s called the c***?

Get cozy under this blanket, SaysWhovia. It’s story time!

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