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Sand Drawing

Sand Drawing

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 The mentality, verbally, physically and sexually abused started when I was nine and continued to get worse two weeks before my thirteen birthday. Someone I wasn’t related to, but someone’s finance, til this very day I still get blamed because the wedding didn’t happen. It’s not like I caused it or wanted it to happen. The sand drawing is the person I was before and who I became. I am very guarded but I never became cold-hearted when I had every right to do so. The strength to share took years. A lifetime restraining order, a team that is here to stay when I needed them. No where does it feel safe for me, I always look over my shoulder. To having my door spilt in half, by a grown man in his forties full of rage. Cigarette burns, to even worse things, I did have a lot of growing up to do, but least I chose to make a change. To the ones who hurt me because they are hurting, I never went to same level. I healed in silenced but I never forgot the pain. The strongest ones don’t beg, or treated others the same way you treated us. We just learned at a young age we don’t belong to fit in no matter where we go. We were ment to walk alone and not have many friends. So before you judge a book by its cover or why that individual is the way that they are. You will learn the had way why you shouldn’t cross us. We would rather be alone, walk alone, instead of dealing with the drama. We aren’t stupid or naive, we play it that way to let you expose who you really are. A narcissist needs consent validation, attention and never wants anyone to know who they are behind the mask. They think they are above the law and everyone and that they know everything, until everything fails in the end. Going through something dark like this, many will never share there story because many will take the perpetrator side instead of the victims. They will treat the perpetrator as the victim and the victim as the perpetrator. Many will say it’s for attention, or that we caused this. Many will speak on this like they know what they are talking about or that we could escape. If you never experience this then just keep your mouth shut. Many of us couldn’t escape because our life was in the line. Breaking chains didn’t come over night, the sand drawing is sharing a survival story that many will never understand because they will never have to experience this.

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