S1E20 - European But Not For Free - As Per My Last Podcast
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Eric returns from Germany, where the national pastime is staring silently until you emotionally unravel.
Sick days: apparently it’s socially acceptable to work yourself into a dirt nap, but God forbid you take a Tuesday off.
Doctor’s notes: one coworker forged one to go golfing — HIPAA breach? Maybe. Icon? Absolutely.
Unlimited PTO: meaning unlimited guilt, meetings at lunchtime, and pretending your haircut is a corporate emergency.
Vacation time: some people “disconnect” by checking email only six hours a day. Eric disconnects by flying to another continent and throwing his phone into the Rhine.
Deutsche Bahn: the only train system where step 1 is “guess which of 7,000 Berlins is real” and step 2 is “get screamed at in German.”
Germans will watch you walk toward the wrong door in silence — then yell “YOU FOOL!” after you touch it.
Small talk in Germany is illegal. Smile at a stranger and they look at you like you’ve confessed to war crimes.
Government shutdowns: politicians still get paid, everyone else gets to start hot dog carts. The American dream is alive.
“I may or may not have cancer…but I’ll know for sure when my paycheck comes back.” — Anonymous federal worker, probably.
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