Your childhood didn't just shape your memories — it shaped your nervous system, your health, your relationships, and the way you move through the world every single day.

In this episode, we sit down to explore the groundbreaking research behind Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa — a book that finally puts science behind what so many of us have always felt but couldn't name. We talk about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), how chronic stress in childhood rewires the brain and body, and what it actually means to begin healing.

This is not a book review. This is a real, honest conversation about what it means to grow up in a home where something — or everything — felt unsafe, unpredictable, or unloving, and how those experiences don't just disappear when we become adults.

In this episode we cover:

• What Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are and why they matter

• How childhood stress and trauma get stored in the body

• The connection between ACEs and chronic illness, anxiety, and depression

• What the science says about healing — and why it's actually possible

This episode is for you if:

• You grew up in a home with instability, neglect, or emotional unavailability

• You've struggled with anxiety, depression, chronic illness, or feeling "broken"

• You've always sensed your childhood left a mark but couldn't explain how or why

• You're a therapist, coach, or healer supporting others in this work

• You're ready to finally connect the dots between your past and your present

Mentioned in this episode:

• Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa

• ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Study

#ChildhoodDisrupted #ACEs #AdverseChildhoodExperiences #ChildhoodTrauma #TraumaHealing #NervousSystemHealing #InnerChildHealing #TraumaRecovery #SomaticHealing #AttachmentHealing #ChronicIllnessAndTrauma #EmotionalHealing #MentalHealthPodcast #HealingPodcast

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

RuptureEverAfter.com

What if the thing that shaped you most wasn't something that happened — but something that never did?

In this episode, Mechelle and Monte get personal about Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN): the invisible wound left not by what parents did wrong, but by what was simply never there. Drawing from Dr. Jonice Webb's groundbreaking book Running on Empty, they explore how high-functioning, capable adults can carry a quiet ache they don't even have words for — and why so many people blame themselves for it.

Monte shares what it felt like to grow up with every material need met, yet still miss something he couldn't name. Mechelle shares a rare audio recording from her own childhood — a tender moment with her mother that captures exactly what emotional attunement looks and sounds like. Together, they trace how the presence or absence of these small, consistent moments shapes the adults we become and the marriages we build.

This episode is for anyone who grew up in a "good enough" home and still wonders why something feels missing.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

https://44a76cfb-87ac-406f-aa1d-2ca93f8824bd.usrfiles.com/ugd/44a76c_0864f553f3274a40962138f489ea551a.pdf

The Wholeness Network Podcast with Jonice Webb

https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/podcast/episode/38b65603/24-dr-jonice-webb-running-on-empty

Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

https://amzn.to/4t14Dee

Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance

https://amzn.to/3Ni12t5

The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living

https://amzn.to/4d1ohlB

The Wholeness Network

https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/

Jackie’s Podcast

https://healingpathsrecovery.com/addiction-recovery-podcast/

Keywords: men and emotions, emotional healing, attachment styles, attunement, childhood trauma, nervous system, secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, marriage podcast, relationship healing, emotional intelligence men, suppressed emotions, inner child healing, rupture and repair, IFS coaching, marriage after trauma, emotional awareness, childhood wounds, adult relationships, men's mental health, relationship podcast, couples therapy, emotional safety

Our links give us a small portion of sales but do not affect your price.

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

For years, the fights didn't make sense. The shutdowns, the spiraling, the moments where all that we had built seemed to disappear — and neither of us had the language for what was actually happening.

In this episode, we share the moment we discovered Complex PTSD and emotional flashbacks, and how that discovery cracked something open. Not as an excuse. Not as a diagnosis to hide behind. But as a map — finally — for the terrain we'd been stumbling through together. If you've ever wondered why your partner's reaction felt wildly out of proportion, or why you suddenly weren't there anymore mid-conflict, this one's for you.

Buy

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving:

https://amzn.to/4d2qfly

Emotional Flashback Management

https://www.pete-walker.com/pdf/emotionalFlashbackManagement.pdf

Such Pretty Forks in the Road by Alanis Morissette

https://open.spotify.com/album/2eOvsabOLLh9ibyANQiFFM?si=RECt--UBQsatW6HZQPI30Q

TWN Podcast The Crappy Childhood Fairy - Anna Runkle CPTSD

https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/podcast/episode/2ffacbf6/30-the-crappy-childhood-fairy-anna-runkle-cptsd

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCZlDCbFTqHkzV_rUP4V5bg

Thanks for Sharing Podcast

https://healingpathsrecovery.com/addiction-recovery-podcast/

Keywords: CPTSD in marriage, emotional flashbacks relationships, complex trauma couples, Pete Walker CPTSD, trauma responses in relationships, nervous system dysregulation marriage, trauma-informed relationship podcast, gray divorce

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

A week after sharing three haunting childhood stories, Monte woke up with a realization he couldn't keep to himself. In this follow-up to our attachment and attunement episode, he traces the terror feeling again to a meditation session that derailed him years ago. We unpack how this feeling led to a lifetime of quietly believing he wasn't worth being liked. Monte and Mechelle explore disorganized attachment, intergenerational pain, the validity of anger, and what it feels like when IFS finally lets the locked-away parts breathe. Raw, real, and deeply freeing.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• How a morning meditation memory unlocked a new layer of healing

• The connection between the word “nasty,” a childhood injury, and a lifetime of feeling unworthy

• Why Monte ghosted 20 people — and what that has to do with emotional neglect

• Mechelle and Monte on the validity of anger and where it belongs

• IFS in action: how protective parts keep us safe and stuck at the same time

• What “brain chills” feel like — and why they matter in trauma healing

• The liberation of telling stories you’ve kept locked away

Breaking Free from Attachment Wounds: Reclaiming your secure base

https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/challenge-page/breaking-free-from-attachment-wounds?programId=877f466f-b549-4d17-883a-e6729aa38747

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

Keywords: childhood trauma, emotional neglect, IFS therapy, disorganized attachment, inner child, trauma healing, shame recovery, nervous system, parts work, mental health, attachment theory, trauma podcast

Before Monte knew what to call it, he had three childhood memories that lived in his body without feelings attached to them. Strange, vivid, unforgettable — and completely emotionless. For forty years those memories just... sat there. No emotion. No context. Just stories.

Then terror showed up in a bathroom, and everything changed.

In this episode, Monte and Mechelle unpack what happens when emotions get locked away before you have the language to name them — and why they never actually leave. They break down attunement, the attachment styles that form when it's missing, and what it looks like to finally put the feeling with the memory.

Emotions don't expire. They just wait.

📍 Learn more and access resources at RuptureEverAfter.com

🎙️ If this episode resonated with you, please leave us a review. It helps more people find the show and means the world to us.

Huberman Lab Podcast with Dr. Allan Schore

Breaking Free from Attachment Wounds: Reclaiming your secure base

Still Face Experiment

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep--Love

Keywords: men and emotions, emotional healing, attachment styles, attunement, childhood trauma, nervous system, secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, marriage podcast, relationship healing, emotional intelligence men, suppressed emotions, inner child healing, rupture and repair, IFS coaching, marriage after trauma, emotional awareness, childhood wounds, adult relationships, men's mental health, relationship podcast, couples therapy, emotional safety

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

Monte and Mechelle hit pause on storytelling to look back — and get honest about what they couldn't see while living it. They fed their first three episode transcripts into AI and didn't love what came back: five takeaways per episode that named patterns they missed, minimized, or didn't have language for yet. From "functioning isn't forming a secure self" to "love doesn't erase wounds — it reveals them," this episode sits in the discomfort of self-awareness. They also open the door to what therapy actually felt like in the beginning — slow, frustrating, and quietly essential. After the rupture, the real story begins.

Buy Books:

Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal

Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

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Keywords: emotional dysregulation in relationships, marriage rupture / relationship repair, couples therapy journey, couples therapy real talk, attachment styles marriage, relationship trauma healing, religious trauma marriage, emotionally unavailable spouse, anxious avoidant relationship, marriage after crisis, vulnerable marriage podcast

• faith deconstruction and marriage

• "why does my husband shut down in arguments"

• "feeling disconnected in marriage"

• "trauma bonds vs healthy attachment"

• "how to start couples therapy"

• "nervous system and conflict in marriage"

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

In this episode, Monte shares his perspective of the rupture.

What happens when the beliefs that shaped your identity, your marriage, your community — your entire world — begin to unravel? And what happens when you’re terrified that telling the truth about your doubts might cost you everything?

Monte opens up about his faith crisis — the slow questions, the private wrestling, the fear of being misunderstood, and the very real anxiety that losing his belief system might also mean losing his family. He shares what it felt like to carry doubt in silence, to love deeply while feeling spiritually disconnected, and to walk the tightrope between authenticity and belonging.

This conversation explores:

• The grief of deconstruction

• The fear of rejection

• The weight of being the one who changes

• And the courage it takes to say, “I don’t know anymore.”

This isn’t a story about winning or losing faith.

It’s about what it means to lose certainty — and still hope love will stay.

If you’ve ever questioned your beliefs, feared disappointing the people you love, or wondered whether truth and connection can coexist, this episode is for you.

Sometimes the rupture begins long before anyone else can see it.

In this deeply personal episode, Mechelle opens her heart and shares the story of a profound rupture in her marriage — what it was like when her spouse began experiencing a faith crisis, and how everything she thought was solid suddenly felt uncertain.She talks candidly about the grief of losing shared beliefs, the fear that comes with not knowing what’s next, and the quiet loneliness that can exist even inside a committed relationship.

Mechelle reflects on the hardest moments, the emotional whiplash, and the internal battles between staying true to herself while trying to hold space for someone she loves.If you’ve ever walked through a season where love and belief no longer aligned — or if you’re navigating change inside your closest relationships — this episode offers honesty, tenderness, and hope.Sometimes rupture isn’t the end of the story.

Sometimes it’s where deeper truth begins.

Still Face Experiment

Keywords: why does my husband shut down in arguments, feeling disconnected in marriage, faith journey, faith deconstruction, Faith crisis