https://ruptureeverafter.com/

@mechellewingle @winglemo

Glimmers are the opposite of triggers — moments of safety your nervous system stores and can return to. On their 32nd anniversary, recorded from the road on day four of a motorcycle trip, Monte and Mechelle each share three glimmers, one per decade of marriage.

Inside: the Gottman research on how couples narrate their shared history and what it predicts; the Holmberg and Holmes finding that memories of your early relationship shift to match how you feel now; and why repair in the present reaches backward into the past.

Stories include Lake Powell with the boats tied together, a surprise discovery flight, a camping trip where feeling dismissed turned into feeling chosen, an expired passport that canceled a trip to Portugal, and standing on a tide pool in the Azores forty years later.

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Thewholenessnetwork.com

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

Topics: glimmers, nervous system regulation, attachment healing, relationship repair, emotional intimacy, long-term marriage, savoring, rupture and repair

#ruptureverafter #attachmenttheory #nervoussystemhealing #relationshiphealing

https://ruptureeverafter.com/

@mechellewingle @winglemo

Have you ever reacted to something small — a customer service call, a declined credit card, a look from someone you love — with a wave of white-hot anger, or a sudden urge to check out completely? That's not a character flaw. That's your nervous system doing exactly what it was built to do.

In this episode, Monte and Mechelle unpack two of the most misunderstood trauma responses: dysregulation — the emotional flashback, when half the brain goes offline and you drop into threat mode — and dissociation, when you leave the present moment and go somewhere else in your mind. Recorded on the road (helmet mics, wild turkeys, and a few breathtaking views included), it's a tender, honest look at why our bodies remember what our minds forget.

Along the way, they get into:

• The four F's — fight, flight, freeze, and fawn — and how to recognize them in yourself

• Why being "triggered" is really a trauma response, and how a single scent (yes, Old Spice) can carry decades of threat

• Why the memory isn't the proof — the body's reaction is

• What ducks, deer, and lions teach us about shaking off stress before it gets stuck

• The elephant and the rider: how emotion leads and reason scrambles to justify it

• How early attunement, or its absence, shapes a whole life — and why prevention matters more than crisis

• Real, unglamorous dysregulation in the wild, from the post office counter to the checkout line

Whether you tend to armor up or disappear, this is an invitation to trust your body, drop the judgment, and make room for your real self to show up and connect.

Mentioned in this episode: The Boy Who Was Raised by a Dog (Dr. Bruce Perry), The Righteous Mind (Jonathan Haidt), A General Theory of Love, Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine — plus Peter Levine, Eckhart Tolle, Ms. Rachel, and Bluey.

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Thewholenessnetwork.com

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

https://ruptureeverafter.com/

@mechellewingle @winglemo

Season 2 opens in the therapy room. Meet Jackie — the therapist Monte & Mechelle have been seeing since 2019, and the name you've heard us drop in almost every episode.

In this candid Season 2 opener, we finally introduce the woman behind the work. Jackie has spent 30+ years as a therapist specializing in trauma, addiction, and the partners affected by it — and she pulls back the curtain on what really happens in the room.

We talk about the difference between therapy and counseling (and why you can't be talked out of your trauma), how trust gets built when trust is the very thing that's broken, and why real healing starts in the body, not the head. Jackie shares her hardest and best days in the field, gets honest about sexless seasons and sexual trauma in marriage, breaks down the biggest myths about sex addiction, and revisits the question Monte kept asking early on — "Should we just get divorced?" — and why she never answered it.

Warm, funny, and deeply human. Turns out therapists are people too… just ask her kids.

New episodes every week.

Subscribe so you don't miss Season 2.

Breaking Free From Attachment Wounds online class

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Porn Series

But is it Good Sex?

Healing Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma

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Thewholenessnetwork.com

Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

⏱️ CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome, Jackie
01:30 What are you coming in with today?
03:15 How politics entered the therapy room
06:30 The hardest days of being a therapist
08:30 The day Jackie's mom died — and coming back to clients
14:00 Best days: when it "clicks" in the body, not the brain
19:00 Moments Jackie remembers from our sessions
23:00 Therapy vs. counseling — what's the difference?
27:30 Sexless marriage, sexual trauma & repair
35:30 Sex addiction: the biggest myths
40:30 "Should we get divorced?" — why Jackie never answered
43:30 The Stockdale paradox & rethinking growth
48:30 Therapists are people too
50:00 How you know therapy is working

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