These days, Dr. Alexandra talks about discernment when approaching the high volume of content available in the realm of mental wellness, self-help, and relationships, so you can sift through what works for you and what doesn’t. And a guiding principle is that insight alone is not sufficient. Engaging with content that helps you go from just knowing some new things to embodying these lessons contributes to your depth of understanding and potential for healing. Today’s guest found her way into her work through eagerly reading self-help book after self-help book trying to understand herself but determined that the piece she needed for her own healing was the felt, somatic experience of being safe in relationships. And that’s not necessarily a romantic relationship, either - that is any anchoring relationship: friends, family members, mentors, pets. This guest is Jessica Baum, licensed psychotherapist and author of the books Anxiously Attached and more recently, Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships, which is the focus of this conversation.

You will hear Dr. Alexandra and Jessica Baum discuss:

• the science of how relationships offer us these healing anchors, and how to create experiences of safety in our bodies, both from the outside in, and the inside out.
• the dynamic nature of attachment styles, or patterns as Jessica calls them, which runs counter to the way many folks speak about them these days.
• The Wheel of Attachment, which brings more nuance to the whole topic of attachment.
• how to begin this type of somatic work to understand our own dynamic attachment patterns and to engage our right hemisphere of the brain more often to enrich and deepen our connections.
• healing in romantic relationships, and how that’s not always available to us in every pairing - but healing through doing our own work always is!

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships by Jessica Baum https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe
• Conscious Relationship Group https://consciousrelationshipgroup.com/
• Jessica Baum on IG @jessicabaumlmhc https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc/?hl=en

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

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In our modern world, we have seen a remarkable increase in anxiety and depression in people, particularly among young people, not to mention the loneliness epidemic, burnout, and stress, all of which greatly impact our sense of well-being and our ability to connect with each other. Dr. Alexandra is joined by the award-winning journalist and bestselling author, Jennifer B. Wallace, whose latest book Mattering: The Secret to Building a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose makes the case for why feeling like we matter is essential to our well-being and how prioritizing this need is a remedy to our modern mental health dilemmas.

In this conversation, you will hear about:

• some of the stories Jennie came across while researching her new book that demonstrate why mattering, well, matters.
• simple practices that folks have integrated into their daily lives to develop a sense of mattering in themselves, and to convey to others that they matter to them.
• the aspects of our culture that impact our sense of mattering and how we can respond, counterculturally, with actions that protect our “mattering core”, as Jennie calls it.
• Jennie’s thoughts on flake culture (our normalization of bailing on plans) and how it harms our own sense of mattering, as well as harms those around us.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Mattering: The Secret to Building a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose by Jennifer Breheny Wallace: https://bookshop.org/p/books/mattering-the-secret-to-a-life-of-deep-connection-and-purpose-jennifer-breheny-wallace/157a47e2699950cb?ean=9780593850596&next=t
• Jennifer B. Wallace’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferbrehenywallace/?hl=en
• Jennifer B. Wallace’s Newsletter: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/newsletter
• Derek Thompson’s Substack article: https://www.derekthompson.org/p/whose-cup-are-you-filling

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

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You may be surprised to hear that billionaires get divorced at roughly the same rate as the general population, which demonstrates that no amount of money protects couples from the tension that can arise when finances are at play. Dr. Alexandra often says that money is a tricky topic because at one level, it is very concrete – dollars and cents, spending and saving. But at another level, the topic of money evokes deep and meaningful questions about our core beliefs, our sense of identity, our desires, and our insecurities. To help us explore all of this, Dr. Alexandra is joined by financial-planning power couple Douglas and Heather Boneparth.

You will hear them talk about:

• why money continues to be a source of tension for couples, even after couples become objectively successful.
• “financial infidelity”, the role shame plays with it, and the Boneparths’ case for financial transparency in your relationship.
• how to get past the tangible, more surface-level topics around money to curiously dig deeper and explore why you and your partner feel the way you do about money (and spoiler alert: that story started being written long long ago!).
• how to approach prenups.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team by Heather and Douglas Boneparth https://bookshop.org/p/books/money-together-how-to-find-fairness-in-your-relationship-and-become-an-unstoppable-financial-team-douglas-boneparth/273465fcc086fc3d
• Subscribe to The Joint Account newsletter: https://www.readthejointaccount.com/
• Learn more about The Boneparths: https://domoneytogether.com/

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.