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The room changes when a true maestro enters—yet the most revealing stories often happen offstage. We sit down with Nancy Shear to explore the hidden lives behind classical music’s brightest names and the personal courage it takes to step through doors that weren’t built for you. From a conductor who needed worship more than love to a cellist whose wild openness defied a regime, this is a lived portrait of power, devotion, and the craft most people never see.

Nancy takes us inside a world of stage doors, library stacks, and late-night score study where color, balance, and bowings decide the fate of a performance. She speaks candidly about navigating inequity in the 60s, the “good girl” codes that marked the era, and the boundary crossings that come with proximity to influence. We trace the contrasts between Stokowski’s controlled, ageless aura and Rostropovich’s expansive, risk-soaked playing, then follow her to Cold War Moscow on a mission of friendship that became a lesson in fearlessness and human connection. Along the way, she reveals the origin of her book’s title, the thrill of shaking a hand that once shook Brahms’s, and the ritual of leaving soil from Beethoven and Mahler at a mentor’s grave.

This conversation is as tactile as it is philosophical: the scissors pressed into her palm, the hushed terror of a dressing room standoff, the way recordings fuse with memory until you can’t tell vibration from recollection. We talk about archives, firings, and where the music lives after the music stops. Most of all, we talk about belonging—how to claim it without permission, how to practice “good trouble,” and how persistence becomes destiny. If you’ve ever loved a sound enough to rebuild your life around it, this one is for you.

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Today on Real Talk with Tina and Ann we are talking about neurodivergence and share a raw, practical look at “diagnosis day,” advocacy, and the tools that actually help our kids thrive. Nothing about our kids changed with labels; only our map did, and that map guides support with less shame and more clarity.

• early signs, and the long road to evaluation
• diagnosis day emotions of relief and grief
• processing speed, executive function, shutdowns, and transitions
• written expression disorder, dysgraphia, and speech-to-text wins
• homeschooling choices, hands-on learning, and fewer words
• school trust breaks, IEP rights, and practical advocacy
• services, therapies, and redefining success on a personal timeline
• balancing hope and fear while carrying the caregiver load

Thank you so much for listening and being a part of this show

#autism, #fetalalcohol, #adhd, #DiGeorgeSyndrome, #neurodivergence,

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A teenage girl finds her way through the stage door and into the inner life of a great orchestra, learning how courage, craft and attention can open rooms that seem shut. Nancy Shear reflects on mentors, trauma, Stokowski’s charisma and the quiet work that shapes sound.

• sneaking into the Academy of Music and earning trust
• learning the orchestra library and serving an apprenticeship
• confidence without permission and Eleanor Roosevelt’s influence
• caregiving at home, trauma, and independence
• music as refuge across classical, pop and Broadway
• first encounters with Stokowski’s charisma and control
• conducting with the eyes and the mystery of communication
• sensory life, hearing a sunrise, painting on silence
• gender dynamics, protection, boundaries and respect
• choosing proximity without losing independence

Nancy shear Contact information: By Nancy Shear

Support the show. Reach out and be a part! Belonging Begins Before Permission: Nancy Schear’s Story Inside …

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