In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin explores the concepts of yin and yang as they relate to self-care, balance, and personal growth. She discusses the importance of recognizing one's tendencies towards action (yang) or receptivity (yin) and offers practical suggestions for achieving a harmonious balance in daily life. The episode also addresses a listener's question about work-life balance, providing evidence-based strategies for creating boundaries and transitions between work and personal time. Ultimately, Vanessa emphasizes that balance is a journey of awareness and self-compassion, rather than a destination of perfection.

Takeaways
The tension between doing and being is something a lot of us wrestle with.
Balance between yin and yang produces harmony.
Neurodivergent individuals often feel these tensions more intensely.
Identifying your own tendencies is the first step to balance.
Small shifts can create ripples of balance over time.
Saying no is an act of self-care.
You do not need neurosurgery, just awareness and intention.
Balance doesn't mean every day is perfectly equal.
The journey itself can be comforting and exciting.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Yin and Yang in Life

02:58 The Balance of Doing and Being

07:14 Identifying Personal Tendencies

07:58 Practical Suggestions for Balance

11:14 Listener Question: Achieving Work-Life Balance

Link to Severed Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/severed-the-ultimate-severance-podcast/id1660658805

14:21 Embracing the Journey of Balance

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

Summary

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the complex topic of masking neurodivergent traits. She discusses the pros and cons of masking, its impact on mental health, and the importance of context and safety in deciding when to mask.

Vanessa emphasizes that masking is not inherently good or bad but should be a choice rather than a necessity. The episode also includes practical strategies for managing masking and unmasking in various environments.

Takeaways

• Masking is a tool, not inherently good or bad.
• Chronic masking can lead to mental health issues.
• Masking should be a choice, not a necessity.
• Context and safety are crucial in masking decisions.
• Unmasking should be intentional and safe.
• Masking can protect against discrimination.
• Unmasking everywhere is not always advisable.
• Healthy masking is flexible and temporary.
• Unhealthy masking feels like hypervigilance.
• Grief about masking deserves respect.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction to Masking
• 00:03:00 Defining Masking
• 00:06:00 Pros and Cons of Masking
• 00:09:00 Impact on Mental Health
• 00:12:00 Practical Strategies for Masking

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin and guest, Diana Magallon Romero, Licensed Clinical Counselor, delve into the complex topic of grief, exploring its many facets and surprise- grief goes way beyond the loss of life.

Vanessa and Diana discuss how grief is a response to change, whether it's losing a loved one, a friend, a job, or even a way of life. Diana shares her insights as a clinical counselor, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and processing grief to find meaning and healing.

The conversation also touches on the role of psychedelics in therapy and how they can aid in redefining one's mental map after a significant loss.

If you'd like to explore working with Diana, her website is:

https://www.luxumbracounselling.com/

Please subscribe and leave us a 5 start review if you are enjoying the show!

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the concept of denial as a psychological defense mechanism. She discusses how denial can provide temporary comfort but ultimately leads to greater issues if not confronted. Through personal anecdotes and societal examples, she illustrates the dangers of denial and offers strategies for facing difficult truths. The episode also addresses health anxiety and the importance of acknowledging one's fears regarding medical visits. Listeners are encouraged to take small steps towards confronting their own truths.

Takeaways

Denial can protect us but also cause harm.
Ignoring symptoms doesn't make them vanish.
Denial delays confrontation of scary truths.
Denial can isolate us from support and healing.
Societal denial can lead to catastrophic consequences.
Psychological experiments show how denial operates in groups.
Gradual exposure can help face difficult truths.
Externalizing problems reduces emotional pressure.
Curiosity can help in recognizing denial.
Noticing patterns of denial is a step towards growth.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Denial: A Double-Edged Sword
09:53 Facing Difficult Truths: Strategies for Confrontation
15:01 Navigating Health Anxiety: A Personal Journey

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

It's the holiday season, and it's a time when people feel many things. Sometimes it's not all cheer or all good.

This time of year can be hard on people because of stress, loneliness or real life pressure. The intensity of everything being "joyous" can feel like a heavy weight. We want to lighten things up with some real talk about lonely feelings-- and to suggest a few solutions.

This episode is for you if you need a little boost and don't feel quite like whooping it up at the celebration. We've got you.

Don't forget to share this podcast - maybe that's your first opportunity to reach out!

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the intricacies of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), exploring its unique approach and why it often gets misunderstood. She highlights the therapy's blend of cognitive techniques with mindfulness and emotion regulation, and discusses its potential pitfalls when applied rigidly. Vanessa offers alternative strategies for distress tolerance and emphasizes the importance of context and flexibility in therapy.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

Hello Listener:

If you’re enjoying this show: Please don’t forget to subscribe, rate the podcast and share with friends. Thank you for listening, wherever you are, around the globe.

In this episode, Vanessa discusses her recording with podcast host and author, Kate Moryoussef, for the December 18th, 2025 episode of the “ADHD Women's Wellbeing” podcast.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-womens-wellbeing-podcast/id1605386171

In that episode of the ADHD Women’s Well-being Podcast, Vanessa and Kate discuss the role of OT for ADHD, particularly for adults, insights about ADHD and neurodiversity, internal family systems, and dialectical behavioral therapy.

This episode of Real Over Ideal is a behind the scenes glimpse at Vanessa ‘s post-recording thoughts and an expansion/ preview (depending on when you are listening!) of some of the topics discussed on Kate’s podcast.

Watch for the episode on ADHD Women's Wellbeing Pod and remember to keep it real over ideal.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

In this episode, Vanessa provides real information about how chronic pain makes changes in your brain. She talks about the difficulties of coping with chronic pain and its invisibility to others around the person in pain.

Vanessa discusses the very real pitfalls of chronic pain management programs and how they can facilitate shame instead of healing. Most importantly, this episode dives into ways that people with chronic pain can live full and meaningful lives. Vanessa explains how people living with chronic pain can be hopeful about their future.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467