When it comes to building lasting wealth, many entrepreneurs believe the solution lies purely in mathematical prowess or uncovering the perfect investment strategy. However, according to Mark Murphy, CEO of Northeast Sequoia Private Client Group and a renowned financial advisor, the most significant hurdles to wealth creation are less about income and more about emotional decision-making and the mindset behind each financial move.

On the "Raising Private Money" podcast with Jay Conner, Mark offers a comprehensive look into why most entrepreneurs struggle to create multi-generational wealth. Surprisingly, it isn’t an income problem—it’s a problem rooted in how decisions are made and how money is managed. Entrepreneurs and investors often earn substantial incomes, but many fail to keep, protect, and grow that wealth into a lasting legacy.

A critical concept Mark emphasizes is “emotional fitness.” This refers to the ability to make rational, well-considered financial decisions rather than impulsive or emotionally driven ones. Emotional fitness extends beyond personal spending habits to deeply influence investing and wealth-building choices. Mark believes that while most financial advisors focus solely on numbers, ignoring the emotional side of money leads to mistakes that sabotage long-term growth.

Emotions can cloud judgment, causing people to justify risky investments or impulsive purchases as sound decisions. Cultivating emotional fitness requires conscious effort—evaluating investments based on logic and reliable criteria rather than chasing the thrill or fearing loss. For those raising capital or seeking investors, this mindset is crucial because it signals trustworthiness and professionalism. Responsible capital raisers not only protect investor funds but also align their own investment alongside their clients, building trust and mutual commitment.

Mark distinguishes between two main investment categories: 'paychecks' and 'playchecks.' Paychecks are assets designed to generate reliable income flows, such as rental properties or dividend-paying investments. These vehicles form the backbone of multi-generational wealth and financial independence. Playchecks, on the other hand, are assets or funds meant for riskier ventures, spending, or charitable giving—essentially capital free from the obligation of supporting family or lifestyle needs. By balancing both types, individuals can enjoy financial freedom while pursuing growth opportunities.

At the core of Mark Murphy’s advice is the principle that people should carefully evaluate both investment partners and opportunities. Investors are not just putting money into projects; they are investing in people. Those raising money should demonstrate skin in the game, showcase a strong track record, and communicate how they protect and prioritize investor capital. When a sponsor personally invests significant funds into a deal alongside outside investors, it cultivates confidence and credibility.

Mark Murphy also stresses the importance of understanding investment risks. For experienced and high-net-worth investors, it’s important to consider questions like: "Can I afford to lose this investment without negatively impacting my lifestyle?" and "If a deal takes longer than expected, am I comfortable with the increased timeline?" The most successful investors approach every opportunity with these hard questions to safeguard their overall wealth and keep their long-term goals intact.

Building relationships that last through multiple deals is not simply a matter of offering high returns. It’s about delivering consistently, maintaining open lines of communication, and sometimes even having the discipline to return capital instead of funneling it into subpar investments. Savvy capital raisers avoid the trap of chasing deals for the sake of deploying funds; instead, they patiently wait for superior opportunities and act with integrity.

For thos

The world of real estate investing continues to evolve, especially when it comes to capital raising and private money. Industry veterans like Merriah Harkins are at the forefront of these changes, demonstrating that successful wealth generation is not just about finding the right deals but strategically building trust and strong capital relationships.

In a recent conversation hosted by Jay Conner on "Raising Private Money," Merriah Harkins, a senior sales executive at Lukrom, shared her experience and perspective acquired over two decades in the field.

Navigating an Evolving Investment Landscape

When Merriah Harkins began her career, the investment environment was less cluttered. Investors had fewer choices, which made decision-making more straightforward. Fast forward to today, and the private money landscape has transformed dramatically. Investors now encounter a plethora of options, which can make due diligence daunting and diversification essential.

For those seeking passive opportunities in real estate, the proliferation of funds and firms means greater risk and reward. Merriah Harkins emphasizes the importance of finding trustworthy companies and spreading investments across different products and asset classes to mitigate potential losses and maximize gains.

Lukrom’s Approach in the Marketplace

Lukrom, based in Phoenix, specializes in private credit funds and lends to real estate investors and businesses aiming to acquire, improve, or develop properties. The company’s niche is short-term loans, ranging from six to twelve months, primarily for residential improvement or quick acquisitions with a goal of resale or refinancing. For real estate investors, this means fast access to capital without the delays common with traditional banks.

On the fund side, Merriah Harkins leads the effort in raising capital for Lukrom. The firm accepts accredited investors from across the nation—those meeting specified income or net-worth thresholds. These investors receive monthly cash flow payouts between 8 and 9 percent, a structure designed to provide both consistent returns and strong protections, such as first lien positions on underlying properties.

The Shift from Marketing to Relationship Building

Lukrom initially sourced capital through friends, family, and social media outreach, but found this approach unsustainable for long-term growth. Upon joining, Merriah Harkins redirected efforts toward building relationships with broker-dealers, registered investment advisors, and family offices. The strategy focuses not on pitching or hyping the investment, but on education, extensive due diligence, and integrity.

For high-net-worth and institutional investors looking to diversify their portfolios, Merriah Harkins stresses the importance of understanding a fund’s track record, the sponsor’s experience, and the structural protections in place. Lukrom, for instance, is structured conservatively, targeting high-growth markets and maintaining strict loan-to-value ratios. The executive and advisory team also invests in the fund, placing their capital at risk ahead of clients—a powerful gesture of confidence and alignment.

Mitigating Risks in Private Investments

Every investment carries risk. Merriah Harkins encourages investors to carefully consider liquidity constraints, the sponsor’s history, and the ability of the fund to fully deploy capital. Lukrom’s practice of thoroughly vetting borrowers and maintaining diversity in loans helps protect against concentration risk and defaults. Short-term, first-position loans in high-growth markets tend to be more resilient, reducing investors’ exposure to downturns.

A Blueprint for Investors and Advisors

For those considering real estate funds or seeking private money for projects, Merriah Harkins advises prioritizing education and clarity. If sponsors aren’t willing to spend ti

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“#62 Mastering the Art of Raising Private Money with Jay Conner”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wT7aLflhpVg&t=2s

The journey of a real estate investor is filled with challenges and opportunities, but one challenge consistently stands out: securing funding. In a recent episode of Scalable Real Estate Investing, expert investor Jay Conner shared his story and insights on how private money can transform the trajectory of a real estate business. Partnering with host Mason Klement, they peeled back the layers of what it really takes to raise and leverage private capital.

The Shift from Traditional Lending to Private Money

Funding real estate deals with bank loans is a common starting point, but it can be a risky bottleneck. Many investors, including Jay Conner, have learned the hard way that banks can pull lines of credit suddenly, putting deals and profits in jeopardy. This kind of wake-up call can turn a problem into a golden opportunity—if investors are willing to explore alternatives.

After experiencing this himself, Jay Conner pivoted to private money, assembling a network of individuals willing to lend directly on his deals. Unlike hard money lenders—who often broker funds and charge points—private money involves direct relationships with individuals. The process is not about pitching deals but educating potential lenders about the advantages and mechanics of private lending.

Building Relationships and Teaching the Private Lending Program

Success with private money isn’t about desperately searching for cash once a deal is in hand. Instead, Jay Conner recommends that investors make “the money comes first” their mantra. By having funds lined up and “pledged” before making offers, investors gain confidence and negotiating power. This approach fosters a mindset of opportunity rather than urgency.

The foundation of raising private money is relationship-based. Investors should start by reaching out to their warm market—friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. These are people who know, like, and trust them, making the transition from conversation to funding more natural. The strategy includes teaching these contacts the private lending program, covering the basics: the interest rate offered, the length of the loan, how the lender is protected, and other pertinent details.

Jay Conner advocates never directly asking for money. Instead, the focus should be on informing and educating. By outlining how the process works and the security involved, potential lenders often end up eager to participate, excited by the opportunity for higher, safer returns that traditional investments fail to offer.

Structuring the Deals for Safety and Simplicity

A major selling point for private lenders is security. Lenders receive a promissory note collateralized by the property—usually in the form of a deed of trust or mortgage. They’re also named on the insurance policy and title, protecting their interests comprehensively. Importantly, funds are always wired to a closing agent, never directly to the investor, ensuring transparency and safety.

In structuring these deals, Jay Conner uses a conservative approach, never borrowing more than 75% of the property’s after-repair value. This provides a significant equity cushion, protecting lenders if market volatility impacts resale prices. These practices, combined with the option of interest-only or deferred payments, result in win-win scenarios for both the investor and their lenders.

Finding More Private Lenders and Scaling Up

Beyond personal contacts, investors can expand their networks through organizations l