Why do resolutions wobble just when we think they should be working?

This episode explores avoidance crafting, impatience, burnout, and how goals, habits, and mental distance shape real progress especially in January.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila explores the intricacies of human behavior, particularly focusing on the themes of resolutions, goals, and habits. She discusses the common pitfalls of New Year's resolutions, the importance of understanding the difference between resolutions and goals, and how habits play a crucial role in achieving these goals. Leila also delves into the impact of social comparison on our progress and introduces the concept of mental distance as a strategy to combat burnout and maintain motivation. The episode emphasizes the importance of community support and self-compassion in the journey towards personal development.

takeaways

• January often feels like the longest month of the year.
• Resolutions are declarations linked to identity and values.
• Goals provide structure and direction for achieving resolutions.
• Habits require time to show their impact and rewards.
• Impatience can lead to negative feelings about progress.
• Social comparison can intensify feelings of uncertainty.
• Mental distance can protect against burnout.
• Avoidance crafting can be a strategic approach to stress.
• Community support can enhance motivation and accountability.
• Self-compassion is crucial in the goal-setting process.

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Why do goals that feel exciting at first suddenly become exhausting even when we care deeply about them?

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, I explore why goals often become unsustainable not because of a lack of motivation or discipline, but because they’re designed for ideal conditions rather than real life.

Drawing on psychology, environmental thinking, and embodied cognition, we look at how our physical and emotional environments quietly shape what we’re able to sustain long before willpower ever comes into play.

You’ll be introduced to the concept of solastalgia, a term that describes the distress we feel when the places we call home change in ways that feel out of our control. Originally coined by environmental philosopher Glenn Albrecht, solastalgia helps us put language to a sense of discomfort many of us feel right now — at home, at work, and in the wider world.

We also explore:

1. Why goal-setting advice often assumes a resource-neutral world
2. How embodied cognition explains the link between clutter, noise, uncertainty and mental fatigue
3. Why living in a brittle, anxious, non-linear environment (often described as BANI or VUCA) quietly drains our capacity
4. How Conservation of Resources theory reframes burnout, confidence loss, and stalled momentum
5. Why sustainability isn’t the opposite of ambition — it’s the condition that allows momentum to exist

Rather than asking “How much more can I push?”, this episode invites a different question:

What can my current environment realistically support without depletion?

You’ll leave with two practical reflections to help you:

1. Name your real working environment (without minimising it)
2. Redesign your goals so they create more resources than they consume

This episode is especially relevant if you’re:

1. Feeling stuck or depleted despite caring about your goals
2. Parenting, creating, caregiving, coaching, or leading in uncertain conditions
3. Questioning whether the problem is you — or the system you’re operating within

Find out more about booking me as a researcher for hire at www.leilaainge.co.uk

Bonus Episode

In this deeply honest and energising episode of Psychologically Speaking, Dany Johnston — data & AI consultant, documentary filmmaker, and PhD researcher — shares her most ambitious and vulnerable goal yet: to create and release a new documentary filmed during a once-in-a-lifetime expedition to the Arctic Circle.

Dany’s story is one of dual passions: 25 years in business transformation and data, and a lifelong pull toward storytelling, creativity, and human rights. Her PhD bridges those worlds, exploring how data harvesting and AI shape the human rights landscape — and how documentary can help everyday people join conversations that usually happen behind closed doors.

But 2026 isn’t about theory. It’s about exposure.

The kind she’s avoided for years.

Dany openly shares her “abject fear of judgment,” the reason projects from New York still sit on a hard drive, and why this year must be different. Her measure of success? Not just making a film — but submitting it to the festival circuit.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Emma returns to share her 2026 goal — and it’s one that will resonate with anyone whose business has grown faster than their systems.

Emma describes the year ahead as a “cupboard under the stairs” moment — the kind of messy-but-essential reorganisation that requires everything to come out before the clarity goes back in. We talk about the three strands of her work (Managing the Menopause, The Triple Shift coaching practice, and Holding Up the Sky) and the emotional labour of running a multi-offer business while supporting women in some of life’s most demanding seasons.

• Why her goal isn’t just tidying — it’s coherence, identity, and focus
• Her habit of “shiny object syndrome” and the insecurity that sometimes sits beneath it
• How under the surface, the real 2026 goal is growing her corporate coaching practice
• The tension between doing what feels easy (reorganising) vs what moves the business forwards (sales & outreach)
• Why a focus group may be the missing piece in her coherence puzzle

Emma shares the three actions she’ll take by the end of January

This is a thoughtful, honest conversation about visibility, intentionality, and the very human temptation to do the parts of business that feel soothing instead of the ones that feel stretching.

If you’re navigating growth, clarity, or identity shifts in your business, this one will feel like a cup of tea, a deep exhale, and a nudge forward.

A conversation about creative confidence, goal setting, and how sharing your work builds self-worth. Designer Bhavini joins Leila to explore fear, visibility, and growth.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge sits down with creative designer Bhavini (B81 Designs) to explore the psychology behind creative confidence, self-worth, and setting goals that stretch you.

Bhavini shares the now-iconic story of her childhood Peter Rabbit — the rainbow-drenched sculpture her mum repainted white — and how that moment shaped her creative identity decades later. It becomes a powerful metaphor for self-expression, suppression, and the courage to show the work you’re proud of.

• How childhood experiences quietly shape creative identity
• Why sharing your work feels terrifying — even when clients love it
• The difference between confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth
• How fear of rejection stops creatives from posting their work
• The “imagined audience” and why visibility feels risky
• Practical strategies for building a habit of sharing
• Why accountability, community, and collaboration matter
• How one difficult client situation derailed Bhavini’s motivation
• The value of starting a goal that’s really about self-worth, not perfection

To share more of her design work online ,consistently, visibly, and beyond her comfort zone , and to build self-worth by doing the thing she’s been avoiding.

With tools like the Rejection Challenge, a bingo card of self-sabotage phrases, and reframing portfolio updates as self-worth time, the episode shows what it looks like to set a goal that genuinely grows you.

If you’ve ever hesitated to show your work, doubted your abilities, or worried about being judged online, this conversation will land deeply. It’s about identity, self-expression, and the quieter psychology behind creative careers.

• B81 Designs (Bhavini)
• Doing It For the Kids Community
• Being Freelance
• Liz Mosley & The Rejection Challenge
• Hannah Isted

Want your own ambitious, exciting 2026 goal — the kind that assumes you can grow from day one? Join Leila’s 60-minute live Goal Sprint.

www.leilaainge.co.uk/goalsprint

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila talks with marketer, community-builder and marathon-in-training Hannah Isted, about her 2026 goals.

Together, they explore how ambitious stretch goals like scaling a marketing membership and finishing the London Marathon in a faster time, require the same core ingredients: consistency, accountability, community, and strategic planning.

This conversation blends the worlds of business growth, running, and mindset coaching, showing how transferable skills like contingency planning, habit building, and overcoming self-sabotage can fuel both entrepreneurial success and marathon training.

Hannah shares the motivation behind her bold business goals, the momentum built over four years of consistent work, and the commitment to focusing solely on membership growth. She also talks about how a strong community, from her business audience to her running partners, keeps her accountable and inspired.

Switching gears into marathon training, Leila and Hannah explore the running mindset, the role of audiobooks and podcasts in staying motivated, the importance of “time on feet,” and why you don’t need to reinvent the wheel in training. They discuss everything from speed work, consistency, and progress tracking to the quiet ways self-sabotage can creep into big goals.

Whether you're an entrepreneur scaling a community, a runner training for a marathon, or someone trying to build better habits in your everyday life, this episode is full of practical insights, inspiring stories, and grounded strategies.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking: The Goal Experiments, Lucy shares her 2026 goal, not just for her business, but for the women who benefit when she succeeds.

We talk about what it means to set a goal that has social impact. Lucy’s ambition is grounded in something practical: helping more women secure meaningful contracts and build financially independent businesses.

This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation about the kind of goal that changes not just a business, but the people around it. If you’re setting your own 2026 intentions, Lucy’s clarity and ambition might be exactly the nudge you need.

SOCIAL MEDIA & WEBSITE LINKS

www.lucygreen.net

https://www.instagram.com/lucygreencoaching/