Why do resolutions wobble just when we think they should be working?

This episode explores avoidance crafting, impatience, burnout, and how goals, habits, and mental distance shape real progress especially in January.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila explores the intricacies of human behavior, particularly focusing on the themes of resolutions, goals, and habits. She discusses the common pitfalls of New Year's resolutions, the importance of understanding the difference between resolutions and goals, and how habits play a crucial role in achieving these goals. Leila also delves into the impact of social comparison on our progress and introduces the concept of mental distance as a strategy to combat burnout and maintain motivation. The episode emphasizes the importance of community support and self-compassion in the journey towards personal development.

takeaways

• January often feels like the longest month of the year.
• Resolutions are declarations linked to identity and values.
• Goals provide structure and direction for achieving resolutions.
• Habits require time to show their impact and rewards.
• Impatience can lead to negative feelings about progress.
• Social comparison can intensify feelings of uncertainty.
• Mental distance can protect against burnout.
• Avoidance crafting can be a strategic approach to stress.
• Community support can enhance motivation and accountability.
• Self-compassion is crucial in the goal-setting process.

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Why do goals that feel exciting at first suddenly become exhausting even when we care deeply about them?

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, I explore why goals often become unsustainable not because of a lack of motivation or discipline, but because they’re designed for ideal conditions rather than real life.

Drawing on psychology, environmental thinking, and embodied cognition, we look at how our physical and emotional environments quietly shape what we’re able to sustain long before willpower ever comes into play.

You’ll be introduced to the concept of solastalgia, a term that describes the distress we feel when the places we call home change in ways that feel out of our control. Originally coined by environmental philosopher Glenn Albrecht, solastalgia helps us put language to a sense of discomfort many of us feel right now — at home, at work, and in the wider world.

We also explore:

1. Why goal-setting advice often assumes a resource-neutral world
2. How embodied cognition explains the link between clutter, noise, uncertainty and mental fatigue
3. Why living in a brittle, anxious, non-linear environment (often described as BANI or VUCA) quietly drains our capacity
4. How Conservation of Resources theory reframes burnout, confidence loss, and stalled momentum
5. Why sustainability isn’t the opposite of ambition — it’s the condition that allows momentum to exist

Rather than asking “How much more can I push?”, this episode invites a different question:

What can my current environment realistically support without depletion?

You’ll leave with two practical reflections to help you:

1. Name your real working environment (without minimising it)
2. Redesign your goals so they create more resources than they consume

This episode is especially relevant if you’re:

1. Feeling stuck or depleted despite caring about your goals
2. Parenting, creating, caregiving, coaching, or leading in uncertain conditions
3. Questioning whether the problem is you — or the system you’re operating within

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Bonus Episode