When critics try to diagnose the ailments of the modern American Evangelical Church, they often reach for sci-fi metaphors—usually comparing the church to the assimilation-obsessed Borg or the militant Klingons. But what if we’ve been looking at the wrong alien species?

In this episode of The Faithful Citizen, Ellison Keller leans into his unapologetic Trekkie roots to explore a deeply uncomfortable mirror for the modern ministry machine: the Ferengi. Sometime in the last few decades, the church quietly swapped the Sermon on the Mount for a corporate business model, turning seekers into consumers and pastors into brand managers.

By applying the hyper-capitalist Ferengi Rules of Acquisition to modern church growth strategies, Ellison unpacks the transactional tithe, the volunteer meat grinder, the toxicity of NDA culture, and why the ecclesiastical enterprise is so terrified of your honest questions. It’s time to decide if we are building the Kingdom of God, or just another franchise in the Alpha Quadrant.

In This Episode, We Cover:

The Corporation of Christ: How the church adopted the CEO model and replaced spiritual formation with corporate Key Performance Indicators (KPIs).

Rule #1 (“Once you have their money, you never give it back”): The shift from localized benevolence to the “transactional tithe” and multi-million dollar capital campaigns.

Rule #10 (“Greed is eternal”): The era of the pastoral platform, trademarked ministries, and what happens when shepherds become brand managers.

Rule #211 (“Employees are the rungs on the ladder...”): The dark side of “sacrificial service,” volunteer burnout, and the weaponization of Non-Disclosure Agreements in the church.

Rule #208 (“Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer” ): How the modern church handles the “deconstruction” movement with pre-packaged apologetics to protect the bottom line.

The Anti-Latinum Gospel: Why Jesus was a terrible CEO, and why overturning the tables is the only way forward.

Join the Conversation: Which Ferengi “Rule of Acquisition” hit closest to home for you? What is a question you are asking right now that the institution seems afraid to answer?

We don’t care about polished marketing; we care about the actual conversation. Push back, share your story, and let’s wrestle with this together.

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Share the Episode: If today’s conversation helped you see the machinery a little more clearly, consider sharing it with a friend who might be sitting in the pews feeling that same friction.