Season 1 Episode 7: The Final Goodbye

My mom grabbed my hand, she pulled me. Then she said "Let's go. I will go with you halfway to your grandfather, when we reach closer I will let you go by yourself." In my mind I was like, "No, I don't want to go back. I want to stay with you," but because she was beating me up I had no other choice but to obey. On the way to my grandfather, in my own thoughts I said, "I will pretend. After she says goodbye, then I will follow her back, hiding on the side of the walking path. I will make sure wherever she is going I will follow her. As long as I can continue to see her, I will be okay, but I will make sure she will not see me."

Unfortunately, my plan didn't work as I planned. After we reached the place where she could say goodbye something changed within me when she told me, "Look, now you can see your grandfather's house. Go and behave, because from now on you have to be with your grandfather, they will be your parents for now." In less than one minute I remembered everything she told me. But I will never see her again. That was hard for me to take in, and at that moment I felt like I couldn't breathe properly. I continued to go forward to my grandfather and my mother turned around going back to her house to grab her things so she could go. In a few steps I made going forward, my brain reminded me, every single word her stepmother and young siblings told me, how they treated me, how they refused to feed me, all the struggle I went through when she was gone. Now I am going back again? I felt afraid mixed with different feelings. My heart started jumping. My mother is leaving me and I will not be able to see her again? With panicking, I turned around, then I ran after my mother, I held onto her feet, crying in deep pain. "Mom, don't leave me. Don't send me back. Please let me go with you," I cried. Looking around to see if there could be anyone, anybody to help me to speak to my mom, maybe to explain better how I love her, what she means to me, why I can't go back in a better way. But I found no one. As I was holding her leg, begging her not to leave me, I grieved. I got beaten, she beat me more than before. My nose was bleeding, my mouth, my head, this time my body was completely broken and even though I was in anguish, I thought, "Beat me as much as you want, but when you finish, take me with you please." Unfortunately, close to the place where I was getting destroyed there was a big hole, a place where they used to dig for dirt to make mud for bricks. And that time it was the rainy season. Deep down there in that hole was rainwater, then she lifted me up and dumped me in that hole, then she left me there.

It happened that someone was looking and my grandfather was on his way to my mom's house. My grandfather, along with people who heard me crying, came and took me out of that hole, but my mom left long ago. I remember telling my grandfather to take me to my mother. "Grandpa, take me to my mom. I want to keep my eyes on her. Don't take me to your house. Just take me to my mother. She is at home. Just take me there. I want my mother. She's at home. Take me to her." My grandfather tried to tell me that she is gone, but I felt like my mom would never leave me. My grandpa and I went to my mom's house, but when we got there the door was closed. I cried day and night calling her name, "Mom," morning and night until I became numb.

Even though my mom was gone, I kept waiting for her. My mom will come back for me. And while I was waiting, "my mother will remember that I was in pain, then she will come back to see if I am ok. My mom will remember that before she left me I was hungry, she will come back with food." I waited so long, but she didn't come back for me.