Jackie and Kara are BACK and the Kelly Clarkson bird saga is showin' everyone's true colors, Mia Goth filed for divorce from Shia LaBeouf 2 days after FKA Twigs NDA expired, Selma Blair is headin' to a body cam footage feed near you! Six Flags shut down their CTE creator after a recent death from a patron falling out. And HOMEWORK CHECK! It's time to talk about The Swan documentary. John and Kate's kids are finally old enough they're writing tell-alls. Wicker is GETTTIN' CLOSER! And so so so much mooooore!!!

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We're back with more SECOND HELPIN'S, and the main story may be Kelly Clarkson's unrequited quirky bird ownership, but we're talkin' 'bout the fact that apparently Jimmy Stewart's daughter has no ears as she claims Mr. Fantasy's portrayal in the upcoming biopic DOESN'T sound like an impersonation, Rosalía absolutely killed it on SNL and Shane Gillis being a toxic loser shouldn't overshadow that, but also Travis Kelce apparently liked a video of said monologue, to absolutely no one's shock. MJ got to watch Weapon's, so many spoilers ahead! Jackie got her Whalefall tickets! Kelly Ripa BANNED Mark Consuelos from dressin' her for her funeral after his questionable choices for her to wear to the ER (WHILE UNCONSCIOUS), 'The Pitt' season 3 is coming out SOOOOOON! And Tyra is tryin' to bring Modelland back, and speaking of horror, Jackie's got some recs to close it out! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOOORE!!!!

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every day there’s a fresh new hell to face how bout we bitch about ittttttt! Conjure your balls, gather your bitchations and get thee to YouTube A BITCHATHON IS AFOOT!
📅 Thursday October 22nd
⏰ 4pm PT / 7pm ET
📺 YouTube.com/@WhosTheB
☎️ whosthebitch.com for more on how to call in live with your bitchuations!

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This week on Page 7, we're joined by Natalie Jean to discuss Kelly Clarkson going full nuclear over a $15,000 mechanical bird that wasn't for sale anyway, and Nicole Kidman winning the divorce from Keith Urban, 'cause we all just wanna feel like Nicole. Jackie's holding Natalie to task for introducin' her to 'Wonka's Golden Ticket', and a world of pure AI horrors to behold. And we're all either in the gumballs of terror or the expensive bird store! Jackie's gettin' excited for Wicker and it's 4D release (that appears to include a urine bucket), grab your sexy wicker popcorn bucket while you can! Shane Gillis reminded everyone why he was originally fired from SNL. It's the 30th anniversary for the release of Scream, so we got a list of behind the scenes factoids! Then we got some BLINDZ that'll have you takin' guesses, plus so much mooooore!!!!

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It might be the 4th time, but it's always the first time here on Page 7 Dark Sided and the news just keeps gettin' more dystopian and dark as we go! Kelly Clarkson appears to live and die by her AI waifu which causes disappointment all around. When life gives Dakota Johnson a bowl of limes, she LIES, and that's startin' to melt Jackie and Kara! Kara can't do 31 for 31, but she's all ready to talk 'bout Christa Pike! There's supposedly a celebrity assistant that's bein' used as a cosmetic surgery test dummy, and who do you think the celebrity might be?! Speakin' of plastic surgery, it's everyone's homework to watch 'The Swan: Behind the Mirror'! Then we got a rage inducing EVIL LIST of 'Celebrities Who Were Convicted Of Horrible Crimes, But Still Managed To Have Careers' and we're lobbin' BLINDZ back and forth! PLUS SO MUCH MORE!!!!

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Slap on your bib, it's time for some SECOND HELPIN'S with Jackie and MJ, and this time they're gettin' all STEAMED UP with a deeper dive into the Michael Douglas memoir 'One Helluva Ride' (including the apparent hypodermic needle threat at the 1992 Oscars!?), Jackie's got her 31 for 31 rubric to help anyone still strugglin' to figure out what to watch this season! But MJ's got their sights set on tryin' out 'Backrooms' after seeing the trailer for it, but they're always ready to watch 'Never Been Kissed' especially since Michael Vartan emerged from the woods for a reunion with Jennifer Garner! Jackie got to go to Halloween Horror Nights, but not a Nikki in sight. Jackie's excited for 'Other Mommy', AND SO MUCH MOOOOORE!!!

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This week on Page 7, we're joined by HoldKnife McNeely to discuss that new metaltoothed dog movie, Michael Douglas dropped his steamy memoir but don't you dare imply he's a sex addict! Alix Earle brags about being illiterate in a really, really weird interview that also asks her about pegging, Kelly Clarkson is making everyone's skin crawl off by joking ChatGPT is her lover, everyone's finding out that Rita Wilson has SIX STUDIO ALBUMS?!?!?! Jackie FINALLY confirms everyone's suspicions about the studio dookie smear bandit! Dakota Johnson and Anne Hathaway are chompin' at the bit for the film adaptation of the CoHo book, 'Verity'. Then we've got A LIST of 'Celebrity Prenups And Divorce Agreements With Terms So Wild, I Nearly Choked On My Bagel', and BLINDZ so secret we don't even have the answers to 2 out of the 3 yet! PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!

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Kara and Jackie are back with more DARK SIDED news as they discuss former American Idol contestant Caleb Flynn's fate, the FINAL EPISODE of 'A Killer Story' for the LAST time, 'The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City' had ski adventure, The Pioneer Woman's son is facing charges, then GRAB YOUR OOKYS, IT'S ABOUT TO GET SPOOKY WITH HALLOWEN BUZZBALLZ as we're startin' to get ready for our HALLOWEEN BITCHATHON October 22nd! Sean Penn once more proves that a broken clock is right twice, the full trailer for 'You Can See Everything' has dropped! Jeff Lous scolded Andy Cohen for his babysittin' pay, and then we have AN EeEeEeEeEeEEEEeeEeEVIL LIST of Celebrity Sex Confessions That Bought Property In My Brain And Now Live There!

And to close it out, in our 'Who's The Bitch?' corner we have an email from a listener dealin' with an unwanted bathroom bestie.

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