Thank you for listening!

You can access .5 Ethics CEUs with the link below.

CEU Links: https://form.jotform.com/260343839957066

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What if the “noncompliance” you’re seeing isn’t defiance at all—but a nervous system that genuinely can’t handle one more demand? In this episode, we sit down with behavior analyst and ACT-based coach Kaitlin Wilder to rethink PDA, pressure, and what actually helps kids (and clinicians) move forward.

Key Questions Explored in the Episode:

1. What is PDA, and why do some people prefer “pervasive drive for autonomy” over “pathological demand avoidance”?
2. Why do traditional reinforcement systems often backfire with PDA profiles?
3. What does “it’s a can’t, not a won’t” actually look like in real life?
4. What is “demand energy,” and how do kids detect it instantly?
5. How does ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) fit into ABA work—especially in schools?

Kaitlin Wilder shares her background as a school-based behavior analyst and special education teacher, describing how “real life” school environments often make even the best plans fall apart. She explains how burnout, anxiety, and an identity built around overworking eventually led her to take FMLA during COVID—and how learning ACT helped her shift from external behavior control to internal flexibility and values-based action.

The conversation then turns to PDA: what it is, why the label is contentious, and why it’s often experienced as “a can’t, not a won’t.” Kaitlin describes how PDA strategies can start as social avoidance tactics and escalate when the child feels unheard or pressured—especially when adults rely on authority, charts, and consequences. She emphasizes that compassion and presence matter, but warns that “the next step” mindset can itself become a demand. ACT, she argues, is uniquely suited here because it centers the person’s experience, language, and values—helping them untangle anxiety-driven avoidance loops and build committed action that comes from within.

About The Guest:

Kaitlin Wilder is a behavior analyst with 15 years of experience across school-based roles, including special education teaching and district behavior support. She now runs Wild Sub Behavior, integrating ACT-informed coaching and direct clinical work—especially with complex cases—focused on psychological flexibility, autonomy-supportive practice, and sustainable change for neurodivergent individuals and the professionals who support them.

Time Stamps:

00:00 Kaitlin’s 15-year journey in ABA + school-based reality

10:45 Burnout, COVID pressure, and taking FMLA

12:36 Discovering ACT, leaving public school, starting a coaching business

14:43 Introducing PDA topic + “lived experience” emphasis

15:37 PDA language: “pathological demand avoidance” vs “pervasive drive for autonomy”

18:46 Real-life school example: escalation, overwhelm, “nothing works”

22:04 “It’s a can’t, not a won’t” + shifting perspective

29:06 “Demand energy” + why “next step” can become the demand

32:39 Anxiety as future-focused planning that drives avoidance

35:45 ACT as neuroaffirming and person-centered—treating the child like a real client

42:35 PDA community distrust of ABA + need for affirming practice

49:25 Teacher training + burnout + self-work as the missing ingredient

52:49 Closing message: confidence as freedom from needing to be “right”

Links for the Guest:

Connect with Kaitlin Wilder: https://www.linkin.com/in/kaitlinwilderhere

Visit Kaitlin Wilder’s website: wildsidebehaviorcoaching@gmail.com

Ready to shift from “How do I make them comply?” to “How do I reduce pressure and build real flexibility?”

Tune in to the full episode for practical insights on PDA, ACT, and creating change that actually lasts.

Thank you for listening!

You can access .5 Ethics CEUs with the link below.

CEU Links: https://form.jotform.com/260343839957066

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What is it really like to grow up as the sibling of a child with autism, and are we paying enough attention to their experience?

In this episode we explore the often unseen emotional world of siblings and what families and professionals can do to better support them.

Key Questions Explored in the Episode:

1. What challenges do siblings of children with autism commonly face?
2. How can parents balance intensive care needs while nurturing their other children?
3. What practical tools help siblings feel seen, validated, and supported?
4. How can conversations about autism be handled in age appropriate, empowering ways?
5. What strengths and positives can emerge from growing up alongside a neurodivergent sibling?

Todays guest is Kayla Paquette, a BCBA who recently launched her own private practice. The focus is on the sibling experience in families raising a child with autism. Kayla highlights how siblings often carry invisible stressors, including social pressure and emotional displacement, while sometimes being placed in caregiving roles.

The conversation shifts toward actionable guidance for parents and clinicians. Kayla emphasizes intentional one on one time, validating complex emotions, avoiding comparisons, and fostering open dialogue. The episode closes by reframing the sibling experience to include its powerful strengths such as empathy, resilience, and deep emotional awareness.

About The Guest:

Kayla Paquette is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst with seven years of experience in ABA. She recently launched her own private practice providing in home, school, and daycare ABA services, as well as community based social skills and enrichment groups. She also offers photo shoot support packages for families and travel consulting. Kayla is the author of the children’s book “Sometimes It’s Hard,” written to help siblings of children with autism feel seen and understood.

Time Stamps:

1. 00:00 Introduction and CEU information
2. 02:30 Meet Kayla Paquette and her private practice
3. 08:15 The overlooked experience of siblings
4. 18:40 Social stress and caregiver roles
5. 27:10 Practical strategies for parents
6. 36:25 Introducing the book “Sometimes It’s Hard”
7. 44:50 The positive impact on siblings

Ready to better support the siblings in your families and caseloads?

Tune in to the full episode for practical strategies, emotional insight, and meaningful tools you can implement right away.

Thank you for listening!

You can access .5 Ethics CEUs with the link below.

CEU Links: https://forms.clickup.com/14171965/f/dgftx-79217/2BRWARRQHOEBNOY35R?Type%20of%20CEU%27s=.5%20BACB%20Ethics%20CEUs&Instructor=Meaghan%20Timko,%20BCBA

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What does it really take to lead effectively in the world of ABA without burning out? In this episode, we explore how intentional leadership and clear priorities can help BCBAs build meaningful careers while protecting their personal lives.

Key Questions Explored in the Episode:

1. What qualities matter most when hiring and developing ABA professionals?
2. How does passion influence long-term success in the ABA field?
3. What leadership skills are essential beyond clinical expertise?
4. How can BCBAs realistically maintain work-life balance in demanding roles?

In this episode of My BCBA Life Meaghan Timko, Chief Operating Officer at Gradual Behavioral Health joins to share her path through the ABA field and the lessons she learned transitioning into leadership.

The conversation focuses on hiring and workforce development, emphasizing the importance of passion, alignment, and transparency when building teams. Meaghan explains why technical competence alone is not enough and how strong leadership depends on communication and genuine care.

The episode concludes with a discussion on work-life balance. Meaghan outlines how she sets priorities, creates boundaries, and makes intentional time for family and personal interests, offering realistic guidance for long-term sustainability.

About The Guest:

Meaghan Timko is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and the Chief Operating Officer at Gradual Behavioral Health. She brings extensive experience in both clinical practice and organizational leadership, with a strong focus on people-centered systems and sustainable growth.

Time Stamps:

00:00 Introduction to BCBA Life Circle

00:47 Meet Meaghan Timko: A Journey in ABA

01:53 The Right Person for the Job

02:24 Hiring and Workforce Development in ABA

03:43 The Importance of Passion in ABA

11:27 Leadership and Soft Skills in ABA

25:34 Work-Life Balance for BCBAs

32:35 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

Ready to grow as a leader without sacrificing balance?

Tune in to the full episode for practical insights and real-world perspective.