In Part 2 of our conversation about family, we shift from the families that made us to the families we’re making now.

We talk about the pieces of our childhoods that we’ve chosen to carry forward, the things we’re intentionally doing differently, and the boundaries we’ve had to set with family members to protect the relationships we have today.

We also talk about the tools we use to build strong, healthy families of our own—from counseling and communication to simply being willing to recognize old patterns and choose a different way forward.

We can’t change the families we came from, but we can be intentional about the families we create.

In Part 1 of our conversation about family, we're looking back at the homes we grew up in, the roles we fell into, and the dynamics we once thought were completely normal—because they were our normal.

We talk about the things our families gave us that we want to keep, the things we're intentionally leaving behind, and how those early experiences still show up in who we are today.

This episode isn't about blaming, fixing, or figuring out what comes next. It's about looking at where we came from with adult eyes and understanding it a little differently.

Sometimes life gets so full that even the simplest things start to feel impossible.

This week, life got in the way. We didn’t have the time, energy, or bandwidth to pull together a full-length episode—so instead of pushing ourselves past the breaking point, we decided to take our own advice and pivot.

In this mini episode, we’re talking about what happens when your plate is officially too full. When making dinner feels like a monumental task. When the after-school activities, work responsibilities, appointments, laundry, texts you haven’t answered, and approximately 47 other things all start piling up at once.

At some point, something has to give.

We talk about recognizing when you’ve hit capacity, why even small tasks can suddenly feel overwhelming, and the sometimes uncomfortable decision to intentionally let a few things drop. Because there are seasons when you simply cannot do it all—and trying to keep every ball in the air might be the very thing that sends you over the edge.

So yes, this episode is shorter than usual. And maybe that’s exactly the point.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is say: I don’t have the bandwidth for that right now.

In this episode, we’re talking about what it means to be the default parent — the person everyone somehow finds when they need a snack, a Band-Aid, help finding the thing that is directly in front of them, an answer to a question, emotional support, or apparently anything else at any hour of the day.

We love being the person our kids come to. We want them to need us. But sometimes? We would also really love for absolutely no one to need us for, like, 20 minutes.

And that’s where the mom guilt creeps in.

We talk about the strange contradiction of motherhood: wanting time to yourself and then feeling guilty for taking it. Needing space but worrying that setting boundaries makes you selfish. Wanting to soak up these years while simultaneously wanting to lock yourself in a quiet room where nobody says “Mom.”

Because maybe needing a break from being needed doesn’t mean we love our families any less. Maybe it just means we’re human.

This week on Messy as Hell, we’re talking default parenting, mom guilt, boundaries, mental load, and the complicated feeling of wanting to be everything to everyone — while occasionally wanting to be responsible for absolutely no one.

Nobody really prepares you for perimenopause.

One day you're going about your life and the next you're wondering why you can't sleep, why you keep blanking on words mid sentence, and why all of a sudden just looking at your partner makes you feel annoyed.

We talk through our personal experiences entering this new era, dig in to some of the many (many) symptoms that can come along with this stage of life, and bitch about something that continues to surprise (and frustrate) us: for a transition that virtually every woman will experience, why is it so difficult to find a healthcare provider with specific training in perimenopause care?

This isn't a medical lecture, and we definitely don't have all the answers. It's two women comparing notes, sharing what we've learned, and wondering why nobody told us about this sooner.

We all have them—the parenting choices we probably wouldn’t brag about at school pickup.

In this episode, we’re talking about our questionable parenting decisions—the shortcuts, compromises, bribes, and survival tactics that might earn us a little side-eye from someone on the outside.

Because parenting in theory and parenting in real life are two very different things.

Sometimes keeping the peace matters more than following the imaginary parenting rulebook. Sometimes you choose the battle you actually have the energy to fight. And sometimes the thing that makes absolutely no sense to anyone else is exactly what your family needs to have a good day.

We’re all figuring this out as we go. So consider this episode a judgment-free zone for the imperfect, occasionally questionable, and very human decisions we make while raising our kids.

Because sometimes good parenting is just doing what you have to do to get everyone to bedtime happy.

In this episode, we’re talking about what it means to be the strong one—the nurturer, the problem-solver, the person everyone runs to when they’re hurting, overwhelmed, or just need someone to make things feel okay.

But what happens when you’re the one who isn’t okay?

We talk about the invisible weight of always being expected to show up, hold it together, and take care of everyone else—and the loneliness that can come when you realize you’re not quite sure who to turn to when you need that same kind of care.

Because even the strong one needs somewhere soft to land.

How do you balance work, family, relationships, friendships, kids, responsibilities—and somehow still find time to take care of yourself?

In this episode, we talk about the balancing act so many women know all too well: trying to keep all the plates spinning while wondering how everyone else is managing to do it.

We talk about the pressure to do it all, the things that inevitably get dropped, and whether true balance is even possible.

No answers. No perfect solutions. Just two women being honest about how messy it can be to hold all the pieces of a life at once.