My guest today is Paul Eastwick, a social psychologist and professor at the University of California, Davis, whose research focuses on attraction, romantic relationships, and the gap between what we think we want and what actually unfolds in real life. His latest book, Bonded by Evolution, challenges a lot of common assumptions about dating and compatibility.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why many of our inherited “rules” about attraction—like mate value, having a type, or alpha/beta dynamics—don’t hold up in real life
• How attraction is far more dynamic and often grows over time rather than appearing instantly
• The gap between what people say they want in a partner and who they actually choose
• How context (social environments, timing, even a first kiss) plays a powerful role in shaping connection
• What dating apps get wrong—and why real-life networks and shared spaces matter more than we think
• How loosening rigid expectations allows attraction and relationships to unfold more naturally

Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow me on Instagram: @tomparkestherapy

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

Today’s guest is Jason Luoma, PhD. Jason is a clinical psychologist, researcher, entrepreneur, and psychotherapy trainer based in Portland, Oregon. For over two decades, Jason’s research has focused on shame, stigma, and the interpersonal functions of emotion, with more recent work centered on psychedelic science. He served as Principal Investigator on one of the first MDMA-assisted psychotherapy trials in the Pacific Northwest and has contributed to multiple NIH-funded clinical trials in roles including co-investigator, consultant, therapist, and trainer.

Jason is co-author of the bestselling ACT text Learning Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Values in Therapy, and is currently writing a book on psychedelic-assisted therapy for Guilford Press. A longtime leader in the ACT community, he is a peer-reviewed ACT trainer, former president of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science, and co-founder of several innovative organizations, including the Portland Psychotherapy Clinic, Research, & Training Center and the Portland Institute for Psychedelic Science.

He also hosts The Research Matters Podcast, where he interviews leading researchers about what makes their work impactful and effective.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

-His early development in Steve Hayes’ lab

-The evolution of ACT and contextual behavioral science

-The need for more experiential learning for clinicians

-psychedelics and their application for healing

-Hopes for the future of psychedelic assisted therapy

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Jason’s Website: https://jasonluoma.com/

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

My guest today is Jennifer Bohle, LPC. Jennifer is a trauma-informed therapist, content creator, and high-achieving creative based in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She works with perfectionistic women to build self-trust, confidence, and worthiness while learning to relate to perfectionism as a strength. Through content creation, Jennifer blends humor, education, and real life -- using creativity as a way to make therapy more human and accessible, and to stay connected to the playful, curious part of herself that still feels like a kid at heart.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

-Jennifer’s path into creating online content — what moved her from private work to public sharing

-Working skillfully with jealousy and comparison, and learning how to genuinely support other creators

-The values that anchor and shape her creative process

-The unspoken costs and complexities of growing an audience online

-And Navigating phone use, attention, and intentional consumption in a digital world

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Jennifer’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferanncounseling/

Jennifer’s Website: https://www.jenniferanncounseling.com/

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw