Summary

In this episode of Couples in Focus, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston delve into the critical concepts of self-regulation and co-regulation within relationships. They explore how understanding our stress responses and predictive models can enhance emotional awareness and communication between partners. The discussion emphasises the importance of recognising bodily cues, the role of meditation, and the necessity of both self-regulation and co-regulation for healthy relationships. Through practical examples and insights, the hosts offer listeners strategies to improve their emotional intelligence and relationship dynamics.

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Takeaways

Self-regulation is essential for effective communication in relationships.

Meditation helps in developing awareness of bodily sensations.

Recognising stress responses can prevent escalation in conflicts.

Co-regulation involves partners supporting each other's emotional states.

Predictive models shape our expectations in relationships.

Ruptures in relationships can lead to opportunities for repair.

Effective co-regulation requires self-regulation skills.

Emotional object permanence helps in building trust between partners.

Small steps in self-regulation can lead to significant changes.

Understanding predictive models can change how we perceive our partner's actions.

Keywords

self-regulation, co-regulation, predictive models, stress response, emotional intelligence, couples therapy, communication, relationship dynamics, mindfulness, emotional awareness

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Self-Regulation

03:07 Understanding Self-Regulation and Its Importance

05:58 The Role of Body Awareness in Self-Regulation

08:54 Strategies for Self-Regulation

12:14 The Impact of Relationships on Self-Regulation

15:04 Predictive Models and Their Influence on Behavior

17:50 The Importance of Repair in Relationships

22:58 The Importance of Self-Regulation

25:57 Understanding Predictive Models in Relationships

29:01 Effective Co-Regulation and Dependence

32:10 Navigating Emotional Dysregulation

35:04 The Role of Movement in Self-Regulation

38:03 Building Emotional Object Permanence

41:00 Expanding the Window of Tolerance