We sit with the dissonance of parenting during a state crackdown in Minnesota, holding mother rage and grief while trying to protect childhood for our children. Stories from Minneapolis, a terrifying night terror, and our feelings as mothers.

• naming the split between normal routines and escalating state force
• how algorithms, media gaps and proximity shape what we know
• whiteness, safety as illusion and why change is allowed
• anger as data, grief underneath and redirecting hate into love and protection
• night terrors explained, patterns, airway and sleep hygiene links
• nervous system care through movement and community support
• centering children’s experiences and mutual aid
• what it means to keep going without normalizing harm

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Star Tribune Article about changing your mind

Myofunctional Therapist in the Northland

5 Calls app - CALL YOUR REPS

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In this episode, we talk openly about updates to toddler sleep struggles, no more night drives just to get a child to sleep, the decision to retire the crib, and how co-sleeping in a king bed changed everything. We unpack how loving, clear boundaries reduced bedtime chaos and how letting go of the “perfect” 7 p.m. bedtime helped ease our own mom guilt, shame, and anxiety around sleep.

From there, we move into the daily reality of daycare life: big feelings at pickup, sensory overload, and what it looks like to listen to a child’s body that needs movement, wrestling, and connection after a long day. Then comes the daycare illness cycle: colds, strep, and six ear infections since summer... along with the weighty decisions around mild hearing loss and ear tubes.

We name the math no one hands you as a parent: PTO that isn’t rest, missed income from client-facing work, mounting medical bills, and the invisible labor of tracking symptoms, dosing medication, scheduling appointments, and making constant judgment calls. This is where the mental load of motherhood becomes undeniable, and why workplace culture matters far more than empty platitudes. Planning for sick seasons, we argue, should be part of every postpartum conversation.

Along the way, we speak the quieter truths many parents carry: resentment when the default sick parent pushes through, the tug-of-war between caregiving and work, and the grief for the versions of parenthood and careers we hoped to have by now. We also share what genuinely helped.

If you’ve ever felt alone doing the late-night calculus of sleep, illness, work, and parenting, this conversation offers validation and practical shifts you can try tonight.

If this episode resonated, tap follow, share it with a friend who’s in the thick of toddler sleep or daycare sickness, and leave a quick review to help other parents find the show. Your support helps this community grow.

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Winter presses in and everything gets louder, especially the expectations placed on moms during the holidays. In this episode, we return from a hiatus to talk honestly about the mental load of motherhood in December, the pressure to create holiday magic, and how easy it is to perform joy while running on empty.

We swap stories, a road trip that dodged snowstorms, a surprise porcupine encounter, and a partner who literally clapped at a lamp.... But beneath the laughter is a deeper truth many overwhelmed moms know well: the invisible labor, perfectionism, and “shoulds” that make the holidays feel heavy instead of joyful.

We talk candidly about skipping Thanksgiving and Black Friday to protect our peace, how perfectionism hides in traditions we feel obligated to perform, and why some holiday rituals feel more like public performances than meaningful family moments. A gingerbread house meltdown becomes our stand-in for motherhood expectations, how tightly we cling to outcomes, and how quickly they fall apart with toddlers, sensory overload, and messy icing.

From there, we explore a gentler way forward for moms feeling burned out by the holidays: choosing fewer, truer rituals; loosening our grip on results; and letting magic show up where it actually fits, like spontaneous night sledding under yard lights.

The mental load of motherhood gets its due as we unpack the reality of gift planning, budgeting, buying, wrapping, and shipping while juggling work, sickness, and bedtime marathons. Gifting can be creative and loving when it’s supported, so we offer practical ideas for the next ten days: smaller gift lists, one decision a day, delegating pickups and shipping, intentionally sending some gifts late, and trading performative traditions for ones that fit your real family life.

If you’re a mom who needs permission to do less, feel more, and let go of holiday perfectionism—this conversation is for you.

If this episode made you feel seen, share it with a friend, subscribe for more honest motherhood conversations, and leave a review to help other moms find the show.
💬 Tell us: what’s one holiday tradition you’re rewriting this year?

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We follow Kirsten’s path from noticing things about her child to an autism + ADHD diagnosis, showing how clarity changed home life, school decisions, and self-trust. We talk sensory needs, high masking in girls, 504 vs IEP, and choosing connection over forced resilience.

• trusting instincts alongside expert guidance
• sensory needs hidden as quirks and stims
• second child as context for nervous system differences and what's "typical"
• pandemic chaos
• teacher concerns - they finally see what we've been seeing
• 504 accommodations vs legally binding IEP
• choosing a clinic for diagnostic testing
• diagnosis as language, not stigma, for self-understanding
• school focus on tolerance versus environmental change
• boundaries with systems and protecting family energy
• resources for autistic girls and high-masking profiles

This conversation is a map for parents who feel unseen by charts and checklists. It offers language for advocating with schools, ideas for crafting a home that regulates instead of battles, and resources for recognizing high-masking autistic girls. Most of all, it’s permission to replace “tolerance training” with environments that fit. If this resonates, share it with a friend, subscribe for more grounded conversations, and leave a review so others can find us. Your story could be the lifeline another parent needs today.

Resources:

Yellow Lady Bugs - Podcast, book, source of a ton of info for neurodivergent girls and gender diverse youth

Tilt Parenting/Differently Wired book - This is another awesome resource to help make sense of how to navigate parenting neurodivergent kiddos

Telepathy Tapes - A podcast exploring how some non-speaking autistics communicate.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with other mamas!
Subscribing to our podcast and leaving us a review is one of the best ways for other people to find us.

You can always email is at mamayoubelong@gmail.com to let us know what you think, leave a story of how the show impacted you, or just say "hey"!

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Kirsten traces the journey from pressure-filled, sleep training newborn days to a more child-centered and connected approach to sleep. Together, we share how postpartum rage became a compass, how sensory needs shaped real rest, and why prioritizing relationship over rules brought relief.

• check in: school strain reaches a tipping point and home education is considered; Molly pursuing an amazing creative endeavor!
• Kirsten's experience as a first time mom. The sleep "shoulds" were HEAVY
• postpartum rage named as boundary signal and guide
• the weight of sleep training culture and external validation
• sensory input, proximity, and ritual as sleep supports
• co-sleeping stigma vs what actually works for rest
• unlearning rigid schedules or expectations and centering relationship over expectations
• grief for lost early weeks and permission to choose differently

Resources:

Duluth Perinatal - perinatal mental health and parenting resources curated by a perinatal mental health therapist

My Connected Motherhood - Sleep consultants WITHOUT SLEEP TRAINING. Love them.

Nurture Neuroscience

Subscribing to our podcast and leaving us a review is one of the best ways for other people to find us. So if you enjoy what you are hearing or if it resonates with you, please subscribe and leave us a review. It would mean a lot.

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Why do so many moms feel like failures when their baby won’t sleep “the right way”? In this honest and vulnerable conversation, we dive into the guilt, shame, and societal pressure surrounding baby sleep regression and the unrealistic standards parents face.

When one of us went through a sudden 15-month toddler sleep regression, she tried every sleep training tip recommended by experts and well-meaning friends. Nothing worked—until car rides became the only solution. But even then, the mom guilt crept in: “Am I a bad mother because I can’t get my baby to sleep without this crutch?”

👉 If you’ve ever asked yourself the same thing, this episode is for you.

What We Talk About in This Episode:

• Why baby sleep isn’t a skill to be trained but a biological function
• The emotional toll of sleep regressions on moms
• Reframing “nighttime parenting” as “nighttime nurturing”
• How questions like “Is your baby sleeping through the night?” fuel shame
• Better ways to support moms during the hardest sleep seasons

Instead of viewing night wakings as failures, we can see them as natural ways our children communicate their needs. Your child isn’t manipulating you; they’re reaching out for comfort—and responding is real parenting work.

If you’re a mom struggling with baby sleep, toddler sleep regressions, or just the overwhelming pressure to “get it right,” this episode will remind you: your worth as a parent has nothing to do with how independently your baby sleeps.

We’d love to hear your story—email us at mamayoubelong@gmail.com
or share this episode with another tired mama who needs encouragement.

Check out the book Molly recommended from our FAV local bookstore!

Nurture Revolution by Greer Kirshenbaum, PhD

And

An awesome influence on socials, Brittany Chambers @goodnightmoonchild

speaking of Brittany..... you need to check out her shop. Her shirts are amazing.

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Infertility is one of the most painful and isolating experiences a mother can face. In this raw conversation, we share one mom’s journey of turning pain into purpose—and why sharing real motherhood stories matters for building community and healing.

Meet Kathleen—craniosacral therapist, licensed massage therapist, breathwork teacher, entrepreneur, founder of Smoke Perfume, and mother to 15-month-old daughter, Pearl—as she navigates a perfect storm of overwhelm. With her husband temporarily incapacitated after breaking both arms, her chronic pain intensifying since childbirth, and the demands of running two businesses, Kathleen offers a raw glimpse into the often invisible struggle of modern motherhood.

In this episode:

- infertility, egg donors, and oysters

- a homebirth transfer and birth date surprise

- modern day motherhood overwhelm and community

This conversation serves as a powerful reminder that behind every mother is a complex story of transformation. Whether you're navigating infertility, birth complications, partner illness, or chronic pain, you're not alone. Sometimes life feels held together by scotch tape and random areas of duct tape—fragile yet somehow functioning.

Reach out, find your people, and remember that vulnerability shared becomes strength multiplied.

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Why don’t we talk more about the pelvic floor? From postpartum recovery to long-term health, moms are often left in the dark about this essential part of their bodies. In this episode, we break the silence and explore what every mother should know about pelvic floor health.

Pelvic health specialist and physical therapist Kirsten Desmarais, PT, DPT, OCS, shares her journey into pelvic health and explains the interconnectedness of our body systems to the pelvic floor. She details common reasons people seek pelvic floor therapy while debunking myths about what's normal versus common.

• Kirsten's path to specializing in pelvic health began through working with perinatal patients
• The pelvic floor connects to multiple body systems including hips, spine, and visceral organs
• Common reasons for seeking pelvic health care include urinary leaking, pain, pressure sensations, and painful periods
• Pain with intimacy is an undertreated issue that many people suffer with silently due to shame
• The pelvic floor muscles provide stability, control openings, and play a role in intimacy and pleasure
• Postpartum incontinence is commonly accepted as normal when it's actually treatable
• Barriers to seeking care include resources, time, transportation, and insurance limitations
• Pelvic floor function often happens unconsciously, making it easy to disconnect from this area until problems occur

You can find Kirsten through her clinical practice online at empowerorthoandpelvichealth.com or on Instagram at @kirstendesmaraisdpt

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