Do you suffer from depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, even psychosis? My guest today, Brownwyn Schweigerdt may be the most evocative psychotherapist you’ve ever heard. Instead of fixing peoples messes, her goal is to elicit the feelings we’re most ashamed to have, such as hatred, betrayal, anger, shame. She knows that even though feelings are invisible they don’t evaporate - instead they store away in our bodies when we disown them. These hidden feelings haunt us and cause mental illness until we externalize them into words… so stay tune and let’s have some words with Bronwyn.

Bronwyn has a masters degree in counseling and another in nutritions She is a public speaker, and author and licensed psychotherapist. I’m excited to have her on the show as depression and anxiety have shown up in my kids and I’m always looking for answers. So…let’s get right down to talking about this topic of how feelings buried alive cause us some serious harm.

Tune in to hear my discussion with Bronwyn and to hear us discuss questions like:

1. Let’s start with your story. What in your life brought you to want to specialize in this career, this topic?
2. Tell us about this idea of externalizing our feelings into words and the best ways to do that and not alienate the world.
3. You believe that most types of therapies and medications don’t work for depression and anxiety, let’s hear about that. There are a lot of people on meds.
4. What role does shame play in our lives?
5. How do we raise resilient children, and how do we help older children that may already suffer with some of these issues like depression and anxiety?

Find Bronwyn:

Podcast: Angry at the Right Things

Years ago - like really - 20-30 years ago, I read a book called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. It became one of my go-to favorites because it explained so many things to me about myself. Things I didn’t understand about me. Bronwyn’s message is very much the same. If we bury feelings they show up in our body in different ways - illnesses, aches, weakness, stuff just not working right. Because our bodies and minds are so closely connected, I believe this is very likely true. I don’t think it’s the absolute cause for all that ails us, but I do believe that it effects us. Mental and physical are intertwined. As we create our best life stories on purpose we are always needing to process and grow from the emotions and the messiness that life generates. Understanding how to do this, like the things we’ve talked about today can be crucial to making changes that bless our lives, our minds, our hearts.

As we close I want to send my love and best wishes to all the listeners of the LYS podcast. I am getting ready to take a sabbatical from the show and I want to thank all the editors, listeners, supporters and people who have learned to love their story on our 8 year journey together. Thanks for being here. We’ll be back in the saddle in no time at all, but for now: Live your best life with intention and keep coming back to the Love Your Story library.

All the shows will still be available at www.LoveyourStorypodcast.com. There are almost 300 incredible episodes with incredible people, incredible stories that shine a light for the rest of us on how to navigate tough things, and incredible life hacks. Keep using the episodes. There is so much good to keep listening to! It’s all still here. Enjoy and happy travels on your life adventure.

Join us in this audio remastering of one of our earliest episodes. I quote May Swenson, share my experience in the moon-soaked darkness of the Teton mountains in Wyoming, and we talk about how being present to our senses...slowing down just enough to tune into our experience with all it's color, texture, and noise, makes all the difference in living a good life.

Thank you for being a listener of the Love Your Story podcast.

Welcome to the LYS Podcast. Have you heard of the “Yes…and” concept? It’s routed in improvisational theater, but for our purposes we are using it as a valuable approach to life. A life navigation tool.

“Yes….and” does two primary things.

The “Yes” creates acceptance. The “and” pulls us into the present moment - where we decide what to do next. Stay tuned for this quick chat that helps us move through hard things

“Yes… and” is a building block. What is does is acknowledge the reality before you with the YES. Then the “and” is the jumping off point for what you’ll do about it. How you’ll build on what is.

In the realm of improvisation, actors employ “Yes, and” to foster collaboration and creativity. When one actor introduces and idea or action their scene partner accepts it with a “yes and then they add on new information. The scene builds this way, one block - or one “yes, and” at a time.

The alternative is to fight what is…. the first actor just introduced an embarrassing idea that I don’t want to engage with. In the scene, I can’t stop and demand they change their contribution, I just get to keep the momentum building and decide what to do with it, how to build my way out of it…

For example - You’re in an improv scene where the first actor just admits to a crowd of people that you caught an STD in a salacious way, now it’s your turn to figure out how to turn this scene around. What do you do with this twist in the plot? In improv you simply have to make a choice what to do next. You can’t stomp off, you can’t demand they come up with something less personal, you don’t stop the show….you figure out how to play out the scene.

Ok. So let’s apply this simple concept to real life.

I have a sticky note on my desk that says “Yes, and…” in big letters. It reminds me that when something happens, when I’m struggling with something going on in my life, that sitting and wishing it was different, or letting it cause continued anxiety in me while I wallow in what is, are both completely in effective. They are the equivalent of being stuck in a mud bog. Here’s the hero of the story, stuck up to her thighs in a slimy mud bog.

Let’s just take today: I’m recording this in July. My lawn is dying in spots and it’s frustrating. I acknowledge every day that the crisp yellow grass shouldn’t be there, I’m watering it. But it is. So, I can keep feeling the frustration and knowing it shouldn’t be this way, day after day, or I can say Yes - this is happening, my lawn is struggling. Accept it, whether it “should” be that way or not. Now comes the “and.” What will I do differently about this thing? I will water it more, and/or I will change fertilizer. A decision has been made. I’ve accepted what is and I’ve moved on to action.

Next example: I’m working with a new group of women doing the 21 LIFE Connection Challenges. We started out with almost 10 people and after the first week only 4 are checking in regularly. Now, I have a number of feelings about this. 1. I know this is how it goes. Every time. It takes a modicum of dedication to stick with the challenges and most of the time less than half of the groups make it through. Not because the challenges are terribly hard, but they lose focus, get busy, put it off. So, I know this is going to happen but I still feel bad for all the great women who are missing out on what they could have gotten out of it. 2. I feel frustration that discipline is so hard for so many. So the first thing that I need to do to stop resentment from building is to accept that it’s happening and then decide how I want to deal with it. The “and” for me on this one is that I want to give all my best attention to those who stick with