• Secret #80: The Anxiety Advantage with Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary
• Secret #65: The Self-Help Paradox with Joe Oliver
• Secret #79: Fierce Compassion with Dr. Dennis Tirch

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to sleep?

From sleep trackers and wellness trends to headlines warning us about the dangers of poor sleep, many of us have come to believe that sleep is something we should be able to control. But according to behavioral sleep medicine expert Dr. Sue McCurry, that's one of the biggest myths about sleep.

Chris and Emma sit down with Dr. McCurry to explore what actually drives healthy sleep, why waking up during the night isn't always a problem, and how anxiety about sleep often becomes the very thing that keeps us awake. They discuss the history of human sleep, common misconceptions about insomnia, the science behind Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I), and practical ways to create the conditions for better rest without trying to force it.

Whether you're struggling with insomnia, navigating menopause, parenting young children, or simply wondering if you're getting enough sleep, this episode offers a reassuring and evidence-based perspective that may completely change the way you think about sleep.

• Sleep cannot be forced, only supported.
• Waking during the night is more common than many people realize.
• Anxiety about sleep often becomes the biggest barrier to sleeping well.
• Consistency is more important than chasing a perfect number of hours.
• Sleep trackers can sometimes increase stress rather than improve sleep.
• Good sleepers still have occasional bad nights.
• CBT-I focuses on changing habits, thoughts, and behaviors rather than forcing sleep.

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes

• Secret #72: Transforming Guilt and Shame with Carolyn Allard
• Secret #79: Fierce Compassion with Dr. Dennis Tirch
• Secret #65: The Self-Help Paradox with Joe Oliver

Why are we so much harsher with ourselves than we are with the people we love?

In this episode, Holly Yates and Shawn Costello-Whooley join Chris and Emma to explore the powerful role of the inner critic. Together, they unpack where self-critical thoughts come from, why they often masquerade as protection, and how they can quietly shape our relationships, confidence, and sense of self-worth.

Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), compassion-focused approaches, and their new book The Inner Critic Workbook, Holly and Shawn explain how self-criticism often develops as an attempt to keep us safe, connected, and accepted. The conversation explores shame, belonging, perfectionism, social comparison, parenting, and the courage required to respond to ourselves with kindness rather than cruelty.

This episode offers practical tools for recognizing your inner critic, understanding its function, and developing a healthier relationship with the thoughts that tell you you're not enough.

Key Takeaways

• The inner critic often develops as a misguided attempt to protect us.
• Shame thrives in secrecy and disconnection.
• Self-compassion is not self-indulgence or letting yourself off the hook.
• Values can help distinguish between a helpful coach and a harmful critic.
• Responding is different from reacting.
• Connection is one of the most powerful antidotes to shame.
• We can learn to relate differently to self-critical thoughts without eliminating them.

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes

• Secret #12: Imposter Syndrome with Dr. Jill Stoddard
• Secret #73: Confidence with Michael Herold
• Secret #80: The Anxiety Advantage with Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary

Why is asking for help so hard?

For many people, needing support feels like failure. Whether it's therapy, medication, weight loss surgery, or asking others for assistance, we often carry the belief that we should be able to do everything on our own.

In this candid conversation, Dr. Jill Stoddard shares her lifelong struggle with body image, dieting, and shame. She discusses the decision to pursue weight loss surgery, the judgment she faced afterward, and why society often labels support as "cheating."

Together, Chris, Emma, and Jill unpack the complicated intersection of weight, identity, appearance, values, and cultural expectations. They explore the role of uncertainty, discomfort, self-compassion, and psychological flexibility in creating lasting change.

Ultimately, this conversation isn't really about weight loss—it's about giving ourselves permission to ask for help, challenge shame, and pursue the life we want without needing anyone else's approval.

Key Takeaways

• Asking for help is not weakness—it is often wisdom.
• Weight loss tools, medications, and surgery are not "cheating."
• Shame often drives unhealthy relationships with food and body image.
• Values provide a more sustainable path than willpower alone.
• Learning to tolerate discomfort is essential for long-term change.
• The goal isn't perfection—it's psychological flexibility.
• We can support others without judging the choices they make for their bodies.

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)