Can the darkest moments in our lives become sources of extraordinary light? And what might help us find that light, even when the world around us feels increasingly dark and divided?

In this week's Life, Love & Legacy Insights, I'm reflecting on my conversation with Kat Applewhite, and two moments that have stayed with me.

The first was Kat's beautiful observation that times of great darkness can become sources of extraordinary light, if we give ourselves space to find it.

The second was her description of the person she's trying to become: someone with the courage to stand for what they believe in, the humility to recognise they might be wrong, the curiosity to keep learning and the wisdom to disagree well.

Together, those reflections offer us something hopeful to consider. Not that suffering is necessary for growth, or that every difficult experience has a positive lesson waiting to be discovered, but that we can all develop qualities that help us bring a little more understanding, compassion and possibility into the world.

In this episode, I explore:

• Why courage doesn't always require certainty.
• How humility can change the way we see others and ourselves.
• What curiosity makes possible when we look beyond the obvious.
• Why learning to disagree well might matter more than ever.
• How sharing our experiences, at the right time and in the right way, can strengthen our connections with others.

And perhaps, as Kat reminds us, making a difference doesn't always require grand gestures. Sometimes it's enough to leave things a little better than we found them.

What quality might you nurture in yourself that could bring a little more light into someone else's life?

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

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PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

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CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

Have you ever kept quiet about something that matters to you because you weren’t sure how it would be received? Or found yourself keeping everyone else happy because, somewhere along the way, their happiness became connected to your own sense of safety?

In this episode, I’m joined by Kat Applewhite: CEO, coach, entrepreneur, adoptive parent and self-described accidental tech leader, for an honest conversation about finding safety, staying curious and choosing courage.

Kat shares how her experiences of a controlling and abusive relationship, people-centred leadership, the complexities of adoptive parenting and an equal and loving partnership have all shaped her understanding and experience of what people need to thrive. She reflects on appearing capable while struggling privately, and learning that caring deeply doesn’t make us responsible for everybody else’s happiness.

We explore what becomes possible when we feel safe enough to use our voices, including speaking about injustice, asking difficult questions and admitting we might not have all the answers. For Kat, that means finding the courage to stand for what she believes in, alongside the humility to reconsider and the curiosity to keep learning.

From the realities of adoption to the milestones we rarely celebrate, this conversation invites us to look beyond our assumptions about other people and ourselves. It also offers a gentle but powerful way to think about legacy: being a good ancestor by leaving lots of small things a little better than we found them.

Highlights include:

• Recognising the connection between safety and people pleasing.
• Using our voices intentionally and learning to disagree well.
• Adoption, belonging and celebrating becoming a family.
• Being a good ancestor through everyday choices.

To connect with Kat:

Website: http://www.here2there.me.uk/

LInkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kat-applewhite-50914838/

Email: kat@here2there.me.uk

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

When people really value what you give, stepping back can feel difficult. Their well-intentioned encouragement comes from a place of care, but “we need you” can be hard to hear when you’re trying to understand what needs to change.

In my conversation with Michelle Taylor, she spoke about a time when she felt she was walking away from celebrancy. Friends and colleagues told her she couldn’t be done. They still needed her.

In this Insights episode, I reflect on the courage it takes to acknowledge where we really are, especially when other people want us to keep going and we still care deeply about the work and the people in our lives. Michelle’s story also got me thinking about permission: to let our colourfulness show, to keep evolving without forcing an answer, and to make room for quiet when we need it.

Sometimes we recognise that something no longer fits before we know what would feel right instead. How do we give yourself space to listen, especially when we're used to putting other people's needs first?

I explore:

• The courage to acknowledge where we really are.
• Listening when someone says they’re done.
• How being needed can complicate recognising our own needs.
• Giving ourselves permission to evolve.
• Wintering and caring for ourselves through fallow times..

Is there a part of your life you’re trying to keep going in a familiar way, when what you need from it has begun to change? If you’re trying to maintain a familiar pace or way of being while something in you is asking for change, there may be something here for you.

Listen to my full conversation with Celebrant Michelle Taylor in Episode 33.

Opportunities to work with Sue:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

Podcast resources:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

Connect with Sue:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

Have you ever felt ready to walk away from something you’ve loved, then wondered whether there’s another way forward? Perhaps the work still matters to you, but the way you’re doing it no longer reflects who you’ve become.

This week, I’m joined by independent celebrant and celebrant trainer Michelle Taylor, who knows that feeling really well. When we first met at the Independent Celebrants’ Retreat, she was close to leaving celebrancy behind. Now, she’s finding a quieter, more deeply connected way forward through Oak and Thorn Ceremonies.

After 30 years in policing, Michelle brought her storytelling skills, straightforward approach and love of people into a very different setting. But giving herself permission to let her own colourfulness, beliefs and individuality come through has been an evolving journey.

We talk about what happens when we stop trying to fit an identity we’ve outgrown, how we decide what deserves our energy, and why some of life’s most meaningful moments deserve a celebration of their own.

Our conversation explores:

• Finding a new direction when you’ve begun to think you’re done.
• Allowing your work to reflect your changing beliefs and values.
• Letting go of anger and choosing what needs a response.
• Celebrating beginnings, endings and finding your birth family.
• Embracing your seasons and making space for rest.
• The memories we create and the difference we make in other people’s lives.

There’s laughter, honesty and plenty to recognise in Michelle’s story. If you’ve been wondering how to make more room for yourself in your own life, there’s something here for you.

To connect with Michelle:

Website: https://oakandthornceremonies.co.uk

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle_oakandthorn/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michelleoakandthorn

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelletaylorcelebrant/

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

Welcome to Season Three of Life, Love & Legacy!

How do we bring what we’ve learned into the way we live? How do we make choices that reflect who we are, make room for other people’s experiences, and recognise when something no longer fits?

In this opening episode, I introduce seven guests who’ll help us explore identity, belonging, ceremony, connection and what it means to have enough. There’ll be stories, laughter and questions to consider, alongside my own Insights episodes.

Meet this season’s guests:

• Michelle Taylor: Independent celebrant, trainer and podcast host.
• Kat Applewhite: Coach, entrepreneur and accidental tech leader.
• Dr Wendy Wright: NHS GP, writer, runner and introvert.
• Paul Sherwood: Leadership practitioner, coach and thoughtful change-maker.
• Jess May: Celebrant, grief coach and tireless cheerleader.
• Katie Brockhurst: Digital wellbeing specialist, speaker and author.
• Glenda Procter: Celebrant, trainer and Queen of Handfasting.

I’m also introducing two new ways to explore your own life, love and legacy:

Legacy Notes — free companion guides to Seasons One and Two, bringing together guests’ stories, my reflections and questions for you. Perfect for revisiting a conversation, or sharing with someone who doesn’t do podcasts.

Download your free guides here.

The Eulogy Gap — a personal coaching experience across two private sessions, with guided writing in between. Explore who and what matters most, and the choices that bring more of that into your life now.

Find out more here:

Follow the podcast to join us for Season Three. Live fully. Love deeply. BE your legacy.

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

Opportunities to work with Sue:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

Connect with Sue:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Social Media Links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

Season Two of Life, Love & Legacy has taken us through recovery, mortality, ritual, changing relationships, identity, trauma, courage and the sometimes uncomfortable work of becoming more fully ourselves.

But looking back, I realised these conversations were never really separate stories. Together, they asked a much bigger question:

Who do we choose to be when life does not go to plan?

Season One invited us to think about identity, belonging and what it means to come home to ourselves. Season Two has taken that further, asking what happens when life changes shape and the old script no longer fits.

Across conversations with Tom Fitzsimons, Katie Costello, Lottie Moore, Monica Douglas, Penny Boycott, Jo Berry and Richard Tyler, several themes kept returning.

Love became less about comfort and more about courage, presence, truth, curiosity and the willingness to let life change us.

Change became less something to resist and more something to meet.

And legacy moved even more firmly into the present tense.

Because legacy is not simply what people say about us when we are gone. It is what people experience of us while we are here: the way we meet others, the choices we make, the conversations we are willing to have, the love we give and receive, and the person we choose to become in the life that is actually ours.

In this Season Two finale, I bring together the biggest lessons from the season and reflect on what these conversations have taught me about living fully, loving deeply and being our legacy.

Because perhaps the question is not whether life will rewrite the script.

Perhaps the question is who we choose to be when it does.

For more information about my new programme - Celebrate YOU!

https://bookme.name/MissionUnstoppable/lite/celebrate-you-tell-me-more

Connect with Sue:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Social Media Links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

What happens when life changes unexpectedly and the future you imagined is no longer the future in front of you?

How do we move forward after loss, illness, disappointment or a major life transition, especially when simply “letting go” feels impossible?

My conversation with Richard Tyler left me with far more than I could fit into one Insights episode. There was grief and illness, identity and healing, nature, story, soul - and that extraordinary question at the heart of our conversation: how do we bear what feels unbearable?

But the idea I kept coming back to was something slightly different. Rich didn’t talk about simply letting go. He talked about loosening our grip.

Because sometimes the things we’re holding have mattered too much to simply release. The relationship. The person. The future we imagined. The version of ourselves we thought we would become.

And perhaps finding a way forward doesn’t begin with forcing ourselves to move on. Perhaps it begins by making just enough room for something new to emerge.

In this episode, I reflect on what that might mean: allowing a new story to take shape; learning to crouch down beside ourselves rather than constantly trying to fix ourselves; practising self-compassion when we feel stuck; loving ourselves back to life with patience and care; and occasionally choosing to be a little more owl than hummingbird.

Because when life rewrites the script without asking our permission, perhaps resilience isn’t always about becoming strong enough to carry more.

Perhaps sometimes it’s about changing the way we hold what we already have… and finding our way forward from there.

In this episode:

• Coping when life changes unexpectedly
• Moving forward when letting go feels impossible
• What happens when the life we expected collides with the life that arrives
• Making space for a new story after loss or change
• Self-compassion: learning to crouch down beside ourselves
• What it might mean to love ourselves back to life

Live fully. Love deeply. BE your legacy.

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.

[A note before listening: This conversation includes frank discussion of cancer, a life-limiting prognosis, grief, serious illness and some of the physical realities of hospital treatment.]

What happens when life becomes almost unbearable? When the future you thought you were heading towards disappears? When there’s no neat resolution, no obvious lesson and no way of simply getting “back to normal”?

My guest this week is Richard Tyler, soul therapist, author, poet, former West End performer and co-founder of the Willow Tree Foundation.

Rich was given a cancer diagnosis that came with a prognosis of just four or five months. In this deeply open conversation, he talks about what happened when illness ambushed the story he thought he was living, and why his response wasn’t to fight cancer as an enemy, but to try to understand his relationship with it.

We talk about grief in its widest sense. The lives we imagined but may never live. The identities and roles we create to survive. The parts of ourselves we leave behind. And the very human desire to find resolution when sometimes there simply isn’t any.

Rich also introduces an idea that has stayed with me: perhaps we don’t always have to let go. Perhaps sometimes we simply need to loosen our grip.

There’s tenderness here too. We explore what it means to “crouch down next to” another human being with our full attention, and the much harder question of whether we can learn to offer that same presence to ourselves.

In this episode, we explore:

• How we bear what feels unbearable
• Living with the light and the shadow at the same time
• The many forms grief can take
• Loosening our grip on the stories we thought life would follow
• Nature, healing and learning to belong to the world rather than stand apart from it
• What it might mean to crouch down next to ourselves

To connect with Richard:

Website: https://richardtylertherapy.com

Website: https://thewillowtreefoundation.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtylerbtfi/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/richardbtfi/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/richard.tylerlake

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OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH SUE:

Coaching and Self-affirmation ceremony: Celebrate YOU!

Legacy exploration and coaching: The Eulogy Gap

______

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Download your free copy of Legacy Notes - now available for Seasons One & Two!

______

CONNECT WITH SUE:

Website: https://www.suerevell.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifelovelegacy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suerevell_lifelovelegacy/

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/suerevell.bsky.social

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/suerevell

Substack: https://substack.com/@suerevell1

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.