Dave and Bethlie wrap up this first section of the Overcoming series focused on the subject of anger. We're also celebrating and praising the Lord for our 300th episode!

1. What do you do with a child who has a tendency to anger
   1. Correct them
      1. Punishment - Every time anger has to be confronted with a negative consequence
      2. We recommend a spanking - every time
   2. Teach them
      1. keep it simple
      2. This is wrong
      3. This is how you should respond
   3. Disciple them
      1. Your child will need the power of God's Word and God's Spirit
      2. Your child will need to walk with God
   4. Model for them
      1. You must do right first
      2. You must learn to have peace in your heart
      3. You have to model right responses to irritations and issues and life itself

Dave and Bethlie continue their series on overcoming with this part 2 of Overcoming Anger.

1. How do you overcome anger in your marriage and family
   1. Start with confession
      1. Eph 4:30. Confess it as sin
         1. Control your anger - better - confess your anger
         2. Jesus got angry - you aren't Jesus
   2. Meditate on Scripture
      1. Proverbs 15:1-3
         1. A soft/gentle answer turns away wrath
            • Recognize that you are most vulnerable to sin when you are sinned against
         2. the tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright
            • Recognize that your words evidence your heart
         3. the eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding the evil and the good
            • Recognize that God is always present and always holding us accountable
      2. Proverbs 17:19
      3. Ecclesiastes 9:17
   3. Start with some growth/spiritual steps
      1. If you have an anger issue this is the answer
         1. You have to grow
            1. Confess it as sin
            2. Pray about it every day
            3. Ask forgiveness
            4. Secure accountability
            5. Respond immediately to any failure
         2. You have to sow
            • As you sow the right seeds, you will begin to see fruit
         3. You have to love and honor
            1. Your wife matters
            2. Your husband matters
      2. If you are married to someone with an anger problem, this is the answer.
         1. You have to grow too
            1. In order to confront your spouses anger, you have to put your spiritual house in order
               • essential to have the strength, courage, perspective, and ability to help your spouse
            2. Pray about how to respond in a right way
            3. Practice how to respond in a right way
               • That was a very angry way to say that, can you say it differently so I don't feel so defensive
         2. You have to allow time for fruit
            1. Anger is usually a learned behavior that is habitual
            2. When you respond to your spouse with gentleness and a request for a different response, allow your spouse to process that
               1. It makes them aware
               2. It give the Spirit time to work
   4. Separate as a last resort.
      1. I can't (with a clear conscience) believe that anger is a grounds for divorce
      2. Separation however, may be needed if a man's anger is making him abusive

In this first episode of our Overcoming series, Dave and Bethlie discuss the topic of Anger.

Overcoming Anger

Quote: We are a society addicted to outrage. Martin Wickens

In the social media world, outrage generates more "clicks" and ad revenue than anything else

1. What does the Bible say about anger?
   1. Various words are used
      1. Anger
      2. Angry
      3. Wrath
   2. Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down on your wrath
   3. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice
   4. A soft answer turns away wrath
   5. Fathers provoke not your children to anger

1. What does anger look like?
   1. an outward explosion
   2. a simmering resentment
   3. harsh words
   4. Rage
   5. An angry person is churlish, mean, unkind
      1. Illustration of Nabal
         1. churlish - difficult, fierce, intense
         2. Evil - bad, disagreeable, giving pain, unhappiness, or misery)
   6. An angry person is difficult to get along with
   7. Anger leads to bitterness and poisons an individual as well as everyone close to them - especially one's spouse and kids

1. What do we know about anger? Some things to understand:
   1. If you are single, know this: an anger issue always gets worse after marriage.
      1. "with a furious man you shall not go . . ."
      2. It is impossible to live with an angry man without making him angry
      3. Same is true for an angry woman
   2. The target of anger is not the cause
      1. You are not to carry the responsibility for a spouses anger or a parents anger
      2. It is not your fault if your spouse is angry
      3. It is not your fault if your parents are angry
   3. Regarding men:
      1. anger is fueled by testosterone and is different than a woman's anger
      2. Anger is physical often before it is processed
         1. (think of punching a wall)
         2. Crying is a woman's response to feeling unloved; anger is a man's response to feeling disrespected
      3. Talking things out will not make things better
         1. A man has to process his anger before he can talk
         2. Talking about it in the moment will only increase his anger
         3. give him time to golf, piddle in the garage, or whatever
            1. This is how he processes his emotions
            2. Very few men process their emotions by talking
   4. Regarding women:
      1. Anger is fueled by emotions and wounds
      2. Anger is often a result of unresolved conflicts
      3. Anger is sometimes the result of unmet expectations