No amount of individual therapy or premarital counseling truly prepares you for the emotional "hit" of parenting. When a child screams, refuses to brush their teeth, or struggles at school, it doesn't just trigger our parenting instincts—it often hijacks our relationship with our partner.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Allison Rimland, LPC, an expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Together, they pull back the curtain on "The Cycle"—the reactive pattern of pursuing and withdrawing that keeps even the best parents stuck in high-conflict loops.

If you’ve ever felt like your partner is the "bad cop," or if you find yourself "future tripping" about your child's success during a bedtime meltdown, this episode is a roadmap for healing your partnership from the Inside-Out.

In this episode, we discuss:

1. The Anatomy of the Cycle: Understanding the roles of the Pursuer (who monitors for closeness) and the Withdrawer (who monitors for peace).
2. The "Soup" of Emotions: Why parenting conflict feels like a "puree" where we can’t distinguish our current stress from our childhood history.
3. The A.R.E. Acronym: A deep dive into Sue Johnson’s framework—Are you Accessible, Responsive, and Engaged?
4. Future Tripping: How our fears about our child's future (e.g., "They'll never be employed!") drive us to be harsh and critical with our partners in the present.
5. The Power of Caregiver Intent: Learning to see the "good intentions" behind a partner’s withdrawal or criticism.
6. Modeling the Repair: Why your kids don't need perfect parents; they need to see how a safe relationship recovers from a messy moment.
7. Your Partner as a Resource: Shifting from "me against you" to "us against the pattern."

About Our Guest: Allison Rimland, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor and the founder of Thrive Family Services. She specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, helping them navigate the complexities of attachment, parenting, and relational healing.

Resources & Connect with Us:

1. Read Allison’s Blog: Navigating Differences in Parenting Styles
2. Read Allison’s Blog: Five Things Couples Can Do To Be Good Partners in Parenting
3. Visit Thrive Family Services: thrivefamilyservices.com
4. Identify Your Parenting Values: Ditch the guilt and start parenting with intention. Download our Free